What do you do in this situation ???

[Kaitlyn]

My 18 year old son Matt is away at school and he just called me practically in tears saying he is sick and in pain and wants to come home. He has only been at school for a week and a half. I really don't know if I should drive the 4 hours tonight or wait and see how he is tomorrow. Part of me wants to go get him because he is my baby but the other part of me thinks he should learn how to do this on his own. Ugh I hate this disease :voodoo:

 

[Clash]

Oh no so sorry to hear this.

I have gotten the I'm sick phone call from my non-IBD daughter and ended up making the drive to pick her up after she went to the clinic. Poor thing called and asked could she come home she felt so bad and none of her roommates were home, called back and said she felt too sick to drive home would I come get her. But the drive was only an hour and 15 minutes so not quite as far. Plus, she never slows down for sickness or wants to be coddled so I knew she must be feeling really bad. She was a sophomore at the time and was taking online classes during the may-mester while working.

I would probably react the same way with C, if he called like my daughter did. But, I don't know if that is necessarily the best to do for him since like you said he has to learn to do this on his own. Such a hard decision. Just sending hugs and support your way!! It is so hard to let go when they grow up for both them and us!!!

 

[Tesscorm]

Oh, that is so difficult. :ghug: How is he sick? Is there a chance it's something that can't wait until tomorrow (ie obstruction - sorry, I've forgotten what Matt's symptoms were exactly...)? How was he before he left and since he's been there?

My son's leaving for school on Sunday, so... just trying to think how I would react...

Unless it's something that you feel needs to be seen urgently, I would try to talk him through it this evening, suggest anything you can that may help alleviate his symptoms and see if you can relax him enough to sleep through it tonight and then speak with him tomorrow and gauge how he's feeling. If he's still very upset tomorrow, I would probably go see him (if only for my own peace of mind :redface.

I don't know what other parents have done when their kids have gone to school but, I put together a 'guide' for my son... ie, gave him basic info on what to do for diarrhea, constipation, signs of obstruction and what to do and avoid relating to remicade (ie disinfecting cuts, etc.). I'm hoping it will help him from panicking and not knowing what to do whenever he has to deal with any of it...

Lots of hugs... I know it would be breaking my heart to not go as soon as he called. :ghug: :ghug:

 

[CarolinAlaska]

It's hard to know what to do. You know your son best. Would he be one to call right at the first sign of feeling bad, or would he try to deal with it on his own and hide it unless he just couldn't stand it? I have 4 kids who I would probably respond in 4 different ways. My oldest is my worst one at being sick - cries the loudest, freaks out the most, etc, and I would probably try to make her tough it out, because it probably isn't as bad as she's putting on. On the other hand I have one who hardly complains - goes and barfs on her own, etc (at age 8!). I would listen up more if she said she was sick because she usually doesn't complain...

 

[Amy2]

I'd ask my son if he could wait until the morning and then I would go get him. I don't tell my son what he can handle, as I can't feel what he's feeling. Each person is different though. Babying my son seems to give him the strength to be independent.

 

[Kaitlyn]

Thank you guys so much. I think we are going to wait till tomorrow my husband is still talking to him. I think he just got so panicked over it. We will probably drive down tomorrow if he doesn't want to go home at least I can see him make sure he is ok. He is not one to complain but I think he got scared.

 

[Tesscorm]

How is Matt? Hope he's doing better. :ghug:

 

[lblair]

It so hard being away from home when not feeling well. Do you think that it's a flare up because of the stress of starting College?? Did you see him today????

 

[Kaitlyn]

We went to go see him he seemed a bit better i think he is flareing wich really sucks for him beacuse his classes just started last Monday and he is probably going to have to miss some
I feel so bad for him .

 

[lblair]

Gosh that is so hard being away does he have a roommate??? Lets hope its a little flare!!!!

 

[xmdmom]

Can he identify any precipitating factor? College can present some challenges with different food choices, less sleep, alcohol,stress and needing to remember meds with an irregular schedule. I hope he feels better soon and that this is a small bump in an otherwise smooth road.

 

[Kaitlyn]

Dusty he is doing a bit better he is at home hopefully going back Monday but now my other son is also flaring. They both are driving me crazy !!!
Thank you guys

 

[M2M]

hugs to you Kaitlyn; I have my daughter that has Crohns; I can't imagine having two; you hang in there. I hope your son does better. College stress is pretty hard on kids, and the fact that they have to watch their diet when they are out with their new friends. Hope he does better

 

[Brian'sMom]

Kaitlyn, I'm so sorry to hear! I can't imagine what it'd be like to have my son away at college and dealing with crohn's too. I hope it all calms down soon! You have to be feeling such distress over both sons flaring. Hang in there.Sending hugs to your and your family

 

[ChampsMom]

Hey Kaitlyn...

I'm so sorry to hear your Matt & Ryan are not doing well... When I read your initial post to this stream it made my heart skip a beat. My son is only 16 (and a half) at the moment but I know he'll be leaving in a couple of years to serve a 2 year mission for our Church... it is something I typically do not stress about until I hear a story like what Matt is going through and then I stop in my tracks. I pray he's up and about again soon and this is but a wee bump in the road...

What a blessing they have you!

 

[Kaitlyn]

I just want to say thank you guys so much also thought I let y"all know that Matt is back at school he left today. He still isn't a 100% but he is better than he was