When should i tell him?

[za18za18]

Dear all
Im a student and have crohns disease for two years now.
I recently met a guy, working in the medical field whom I like alot. We' re having a kind of courtship deal, so its been 6 weeeks now.

But I havent told him yet...
Im just scared, never told someone before..

How did you tell your boyfriend, girlfriend and when?

 

[ronroush7]

I am married. My wife knew shortly after I came hpme. There is a section in this forum called Partners, Family , Friends and Caregivers. I wonder if someone there could help you.

 

[Hattie95]

I know it's scary but just tell him! Either he'll be supportive and won't be worried about it, in which case great! And if not then at least you know before it gets too serious, and it will be his loss. The disease it part of what makes you you, so don't put yourself down and just go for it! I'm sure you'll be fine,good luck

 

[LeafCrAzY]

It's not a big deal! Tell him!

 

[Ian_H]

If he likes you he will stick around. My girl did

 

[ronroush7]

My wife was very supportive when I had to get a resection.

 

[fuzzy butterfly]

Hi if he is worth your time and attention, he will stick around after you tell him. If he does'nt he wasnt worth your time or your attention hun. Being in the medical field should hopefully help with this too. Best wishes n hope he is worthy of you . Hugs

 

[JaimeM]

It was one of the first things I told my now husband. He was very supportive

 

[LeafCrAzY]

I was with my girlfriend when was diagnosed but she's become more that supportive. She reads, takes classes with me etc...

 

[Walt]

Good Day Z,
Sorry you have this crappy disease. I have it too.

If a fart is too private to discuss with a certain someone in your life,
then inflammatory bowel disease is probably also...
not on the table for discussion with that person yet?

It is your intimate secret to tell, when you are comfortable and...
only when you choose!
wishing you only well,
w

ps
I hope cupid gets you!

 

[Cross-stitch gal]

It wasn't long after my husband and I had started dating that he figured out something was wrong. At the time I was flaring and it wasn't long till I told him.

However, if he's in the medical field I would think he's already figured out something's up. He might be just waiting for you to mention it. I would go for it too like the others said and tell him. It's never easy, but you may relax a bit better if you do.

 

[shamrock15]

I told my wife early on. When we were getting serious I told her I actually wanted her to see what crohn's could do to me before we got married. Probably a smart decision. I ended up in hospital for a month and a half with several surgeries when our marriage was only a month old. We are celebrating 10 years this year. As they have said above, if he walks he really isn't the one you want to be with anyway. If he is worth it he will stay.

 

[smt]

Hello za18za18,

This is an important and difficult question. I think the collective wisdom here has already answered the question well. Let me summarize:

Even as a player in a game of strategy, in an open society, nothing can be gained by withholding the truth till any point of time. Reality will eventually strike.

The point is when? I think there is an optimal point when one has to tell, and that time is now. You are "liking" the person, which implies that you have invested somewhat emotionally. After this, the emotional losses from a (possible) rejection may outweigh the gains from a (possible) acceptance. So, probably now is the time.

As a member said, he has probably figured it out, but is waiting from a word from your side.

I cannot share my personal experience as I do not have one.

I wish you all the best.