Who helps you the most?

[MisB]

Besides this forum, which is the absolute best :thumleft:, who do you get the most support from? I know we have complained about those who don't understand, so I thought we could share and acknowledge the ones that help and count our blessings.

1. My husband - not only does he look after me when I'm sick, he takes care of my mother, the house, and our pets. He never complains when I'm unable to do stuff around the house, and pitches in with all household chores, etc...........

2. My niece who comes over once a week to help with my mother and ends up doing things for me when I'm unable, like today. She's helped my husband do laundry, cleaned the kitchen, and getting ready to sweep and vaccuum. She also bathes the dogs when needed, along with anything else she can think of.

3. My daughter who runs errands for me and helps around the house, sometimes. At 19, working, and being a social butterfly, she still takes time to help me and spend time with me. I really cherish that and it helps with my mental and emotional state.

4. My mother who sits here and constantly reminds me what I should be doing and not doing. She insists that I sit down and get rest when I try to do stuff I shouldn't, reminds me of my medicines, and overall general support.

I just thought it would be nice to hear from others who helps you the most. It's nice to count our blessings sometimes and I consider myself very blessed to have such a wonderful family. It makes me a very lucky person. Thanks for letting me share.
:ycool

 

[Crohn's 35]

Easy to answer this, my husband he is exactly like yours, we are lucky for that!!!:wub:

Even when I'm :crabby1:.. even I couldnt put up with me sometimes :wink:

 

[daisy_dueller]

Definitely my husband, he's pretty much the only thing that can keep me sane when I'm having an off day.

 

[Lynne1408]

My Husband, absolutely. He checks all food labels for me. Tonight I made chili. I was about to put in a can of kidney beans. He said, "let's check the label, just in case". There was corn syrup in it. Yikes. I had just assumed that it was pure beans. This BTW was Joan of Arc brand. The Bushes beans did not contain corn syrup. He also helps a lot around the house and driving the kids around. I think that he has a lot of empathy because he's allergic to MSG-gives him diarrhea within 30 minutes. I also have my daughters read labels for me when we're in the grocery store-they see a lot better than me. They're 12 and 15 and have learned all the "code words" to look out for on labels. And I'm also grateful to my family and friends who go out of their way to cook foods that I can eat, carefully checking the ingredients with me before any family get-together.

 

[EthanPSU]

Im pretty much a Crohns loner. Only person that has helped with it is my doctor...but just to do doctor stuff. Im not that much in touch with my parents or siblings. The only real person I had to help me with it was my ex....But shes my ex now lol so back to being a loner with crohns. It is probaly what I prefer at the moment.

 

[ameslouise]

Awww, Ethan, you have all of us!!

My hubber is the best!

After that, probably my friend Becky, who gives me a slap sometimes when I need it and a dose of reality. Like prompting me to call the doc when I just want to "give it a couple more days" or taking it easy when I tend to pile too much on my plate.

 

[Crohns08]

You definitely have all of us, Ethan! The forum is a great support system for everyone

My parents used to be a good support system, but now they're more of a hassel than anything. I feel like I always have to hide things from them, even when I don't have anything to hide because they're paranoid and scared for me even though I'm not scared of anything!

My sister is a huge support for me. I can trust her to take care of me no matter where I am. I only really trust her to take care of me if we're out.

My ex boyfriend and one of my male friends, they are both hugely supportive of me. I can tell them anything about my disease and know that they won't judge me. It's nice that they'll both put up with me and think I'm still amazing even when I think I'm a horrible mess.

 

[Entchen]

My family, friends, and church family *regularly* check in. I love them for it!

My parents cancelled their vacation plans and used the money to fly my mom across the country twice when things were really difficult and I was going through the gamut of tests, appts, etc. They also help me with practical problem solving. For example, when I was working full-time irregular hours and was so unbelievably sick, they encouraged me to bring in a part-time housekeeper. Not having to scrub my tub during the time when I couldn't put any pressure on my abdomen was a life saver, and something I would have passed off as silly indulgence if my family hadn't helped me see the benefits for a single working woman who was ill. They also cheered on my decision to take this summer off in between job contracts, even though I am burning through my emergency savings (guess we've declared this new dx an emergency, haha). Having the time to attend appointments as needed, rest (the fatigue has been overwhelming), exercise, and remind myself to treat each day as special has been wonderful.

My sister and brother-in-law shower me with "feel better soon" and "I'm sorry you had a tube shoved up your butt - twice" presents.

One of my best girlfriends and I have laughed about this and then agreed that she'll simply change the topic the next time I don't notice myself talking on and on and on and on about Crohn's. She knows that I want to hear about her and want to have our usual interesting conversations about anything and everything, but she also knows that right now Crohn's is the thing I think about most and that sometimes I unintentionally neglect to change over to the other topics, too. Crohn's is, overall, only a small piece of me -- even when it seems like the symptoms are completely hijacking everything else -- so I try to make sure it occupies only a small amount of time (if any) in my conversations with others. The rest of the time, I try to be lighthearted about it, for my sake as well as theirs. One friend keeps teasing me by saying "I want what you have!" since I can eat junk food but not vegetables right now, and we have such a good laugh together. Sure, I miss vegetables, but I don't miss trying to force myself to eat a full 5 servings of mostly raw vegetables every day. I don't like raw spinach. I do NOT miss raw spinach. (It almost makes up for missing yummier veg like garden fresh carrots or butter lettuce!)

 

[Jennifer]

My mom and my boyfriend. They're the only ones who ever take my illness into account whenever we go anywhere and actually ask me how I'm doing.

 

[Aura]

My Hubby is brilliant, he stayed home from golf on Saturday to look after me. He did all the washing, cleaned the bathroom and he made ciabata (not sure how to spell it) bread on Sunday. It was yummy.

My family are great support, especially mum and dad who live 7 hrs drive away - but we have free calling.

My brother and his family pray which is kewl too.

I also have a girlfriend of 18 years who is great value and a boyfriend of over 20 years and they keep me in check, cope with my vents , highs , lows and are a great support.

I have a group of women friends when we get together we crack up laughing, it's so funny, we have been like that for about 10 years. The smallest little thing will set us off and it's so hard to stop laughing, tears stream down your face, your stomach hursts :ylol2:, but you still feel good. They are very understanding too.

This forum is brilliant - great support from people that have similar experiences. I have felt quite alone with attracting so many diseases etc but here I am not the lone multiple chronic it's nice to be developing some e-based friends as well.:hug:

 

[Guest]

my best support, and best friends in life, have always been my parents - i was only 23 when i had my first 3 operations, and they were the ones who nursed me and got me back to full health once i was home (even though i had my own flat by then - i went home to stay with my parents). over the years they have been a fantastic support system, through health worries, and then being there for me when my marriage ended and i became a single mum. i could go to them with anything, and they'd always do their best for me.

sadly i lost my dad a few years ago, and the roles begin to change as we get older - i am now my mum's support system, and although i still share a lot of things with her, i try not to give her any worries as she is now 80 & has worries of her own.

luckily i have a wonderful fiance, soon to be hubby - and his love, understanding & friendship is something i appreciate every day.

my sister lives out of town, although she is always willing to listen on the phone, and will drive over if i really need her. i have two extremely close friends who know virtually everything about me and what i've been through, but i'm still a little too proud (& stubborn?) to ask much of them.

my kids are now old enough to help around the house when i'm not feeling good, so they're becoming an integral part of my support system too.

plus - you guys!!

 

[Tan]

Def my hubby is a great support, he cooks all my meals for me and makes sure its stuff that wont upset my tummy. He always understanding when Im not feeling well and always there to help out if I need it. He has given me strength when I thought I could no longer keep going and I will forever be thankful to have such a wonderful person in my life.

In saying that I can't not go past the help and support I have gotten from my parents & bestfriend/sister in law. Jamie was actually away for 2 weeks when I first became sick, my parents and sister-in-law checked in on me every day mading sure I was ok, took me to doctor appointments, feed me and pretty much made sure I survived until Jamie got home to take over. I know even now they would drop everything if need be to help me out so Im forever thankful to have such wonderful parents and family.

 

[duck68]

I need to mention my hubby Duncan - he is a wonderful support to me - and although we are only at the beginning of this journey - he is trying to understand it all too. He comes to all my specialist appointments so he can understand and also hear what is going on!!

I'm mostly upbeat about it all and try not worry too many people (yet) but I know that if I needed anyone else, my parents, family and best friends would be available in a flash...because that is the sort of people they are. I also have a very supportive boss and team that I work with too.

And of course, have found this forum - full of caring people!!

:hug:

 

[belle1999]

I am single, so I don't have a significant other for support.
But I have a good friend that has been with me since the beginning and is a great support system for me!

 

[Procyon]

My parents are good to me. They're always very understanding when I'm going through a rough patch and do what they can to help me get through it. Especially my mom. She'll always listen to me complain about things if I need to vent to someone. Sometimes I find the emotional pain of putting up with the disease more of a stigma than the physical pain, so my mom's awesome for putting up with me complaining about random crap to her all the time.

 

[phillyfire]

my family try's to help but they will never know what its like to go the bathroom 13x aday or to fell like your guts are going to explode..they just think my gas smells like the something out of a horor movie .. so at least i got that going for me..

 

[Manzyb]

My mom use to be my biggest helper when I was sick! She still is a lot, when she can be. Being a military spouse and moving all over the place I'm not always in close enough proximity for her to be with me all of the time.

My husband is a big supporter for me. He's pretty understanding when he knows I'm really sick and can't do anything. He'll wait on me hand and foot, and do everything he can to make things easier on me. On days where I'm not quite feeling so good, but probably should get up and do things, he tries to encourage me to get up out of bed, get dressed, and get out of the house. He's amazing!!!

 

[Crohn's 35]

Im pretty much a Crohns loner. Only person that has helped with it is my doctor...but just to do doctor stuff. Im not that much in touch with my parents or siblings. The only real person I had to help me with it was my ex....But shes my ex now lol so back to being a loner with crohns. It is probaly what I prefer at the moment.

Well We is your family now :kello:. WE are always here 24/7 , we can't be there physically but mentally and emotionally we are there.

Belle you too, we are here for everyone!


It is comforting to know that almost all of you have great support. We also have each other.:ghug:

 

[Zalanicht]

Mi mama

 

[merrywidow]

my 12 year old son, he is the only one who understands

 

[Keona]

My dog mostly She showers me with kisses and rawhides. She also thinks I am genius even if I am just talking about ducks to her

I also had to get a counsellor - she's awesome and is really objective and well...has to listen to me

 

[skymgirl]

My husband is great, he listens to all my worries and complaints. I constantly feel guilty about being worn out or in pain, so I'm going to see a therapist to deal with that.

My mom is also great, and my step-dad has Crohn's, too - so he knows what I'm going through.

I haven't been very active around here, but this forum is a good bunch, very kind, helpful and supportive!

 

[Crohn's 35]

My dog mostly She showers me with kisses and rawhides. She also thinks I am genius even if I am just talking about ducks to her

I also had to get a counsellor - she's awesome and is really objective and well...has to listen to me

Your dog gives you rawhide??? Isnt that hard on Crohn's :lol2:...sorry couldn't resist.

My dogs are very aware of when I am sick, especially Trance he is my boy!

 

[Crohns08]

My dogs are very aware of when I am sick, especially Trance he is my boy!

Apollo was like that, very attuned to how I was feeling. It's strange because now Zeus is becoming like that too. I can hear him lay by the door or sniff at the door if I'm in the bathroom too long. Animals are such good support systems!

 

[Silvermoon]

Believe it or not... i would have to list my hairdresser and my co-worker as my two bestest supports..LOL! Athough, I have known both of them for ages.

My hairdresser used to babysit me when I was...well...lol... a baby... :ybiggrin: ... and she now has fibromyalgia, so understands what it is like to have good and bad days.....

My co-worker is also a nurse - and we have worked together on and off for 15 years (back before I even become a nurse, I would work as an aide in the hospital during summer break...she was my boss!!) - but she is like my #2 mommy... caring but not clingy (almost better than my real mommy...lol)...

My hubby is a huge mental support! He has probably done the most research into the emotional and physical effects of Crohn's... and is supportive...in his own way. He will be the first to admit he is not good at housework... but when there are absolutely no clean dishes left in the house, or we are totally out of clean undies, he will chip in and do what he can...LOL! Otherwise, he helps in his own way... leaving the house with the dogs when I need to have a "sleep" day so the house is quiet...BUT he is always in cell range if I need him right away.... that type of thing.

And even though he has been my biggest emotional support...even he has commented on how much you all have helped me deal with the rest of the emotional stuff he can't handle...it is kind of an inside joke with us...but if I come home at the end of the day and say something like "HEY! I found someone else on the forum with(insert weird-ass extraintestinal symptom here)"... he jumps up and down and claps his hands for me....knowing that I am so happy not to be SUCH a freak....LOL :blush: :blush: :blush:

So to all you out there who are freaks like me.... THANK YOU!!! You have helped me more than you will ever know.... LOL!

 

[GoJohnnyGo]

Pretty much on my own here.

 

[Crohn's 35]

Pretty much on my own here.

Awe, I am with you in spirit! :hug:. NO one should ever be alone with this disease!

 

[fromthegut]

Accepting Help

I have a horrible horrible ego. I am not good.. or maybe I am unwise at not being able to accept help. It's hard to accept help when it is offered . God forbid I need to ask for help. I am ok if there is an exchange.. mostly money. But that is rare.
I have in my head that I don't want to burden anyone and that asking for help is burdening people. It was especialyl hard to ask my older sister whow as like a mother to me. A friend pointed out taht she msut be really mad at me for not asking ehr. I didn't want to burden her becasue she lsot her son to drowning and her daughter has health issues. I don't ask any of my younger neices and nephews. I want to be that one to help them not the other way around. Although helping is just having them visit me and be by my side. I am still grateful my youngest niece could be here when she was exhausted and needed a safe comfortable place and I miss my nephew who lives and works out west ( Jasper AB) now. Wish I could go visit him. I am sure I miss him more than he misses me.
I know he has problems with bowels and I pray that God is taking care of him. I can barely take care of myself and I am not doing a good job these days.

 

[crohnicaly stinky]

I have a horrible horrible ego. I am not good.. or maybe I am unwise at not being able to accept help. It's hard to accept help when it is offered . God forbid I need to ask for help. I am ok if there is an exchange.. mostly money. But that is rare.
I have in my head that I don't want to burden anyone and that asking for help is burdening people. It was especialyl hard to ask my older sister whow as like a mother to me. A friend pointed out taht she msut be really mad at me for not asking ehr. I didn't want to burden her becasue she lsot her son to drowning and her daughter has health issues. I don't ask any of my younger neices and nephews. I want to be that one to help them not the other way around. Although helping is just having them visit me and be by my side. I am still grateful my youngest niece could be here when she was exhausted and needed a safe comfortable place and I miss my nephew who lives and works out west ( Jasper AB) now. Wish I could go visit him. I am sure I miss him more than he misses me.
I know he has problems with bowels and I pray that God is taking care of him. I can barely take care of myself and I am not doing a good job these days.

Look at it this way. They want to help you out of love. If you let them help you, you are really just letting them love you, which will make them feel so good. So this is a nice gift you can give them, letting them help you is also you helping them.

 

[Crohn's 35]

Look at it this way. They want to help you out of love. If you let them help you, you are really just letting them love you, which will make them feel so good. So this is a nice gift you can give them, letting them help you is also you helping them.

Yeah, what stinky said. They will feel like you dont want their help.

 

[ameslouise]

Apollo was like that, very attuned to how I was feeling. It's strange because now Zeus is becoming like that too. I can hear him lay by the door or sniff at the door if I'm in the bathroom too long. Animals are such good support systems!

Cute - Zeus and Apollo..... like in Magnum PI, right?

 

[Crohn's 35]

Cute - Zeus and Apollo..... like in Magnum PI, right?

Wow, it has been years since Magnum Pi was on the tube. Now I feel old lol.:shifty-t:

 

[DustyKat]

I have a horrible horrible ego. I am not good.. or maybe I am unwise at not being able to accept help. It's hard to accept help when it is offered . God forbid I need to ask for help. I am ok if there is an exchange.. mostly money. But that is rare.
I have in my head that I don't want to burden anyone and that asking for help is burdening people. It was especialyl hard to ask my older sister whow as like a mother to me. A friend pointed out taht she msut be really mad at me for not asking ehr. I didn't want to burden her becasue she lsot her son to drowning and her daughter has health issues. I don't ask any of my younger neices and nephews. I want to be that one to help them not the other way around. Although helping is just having them visit me and be by my side. I am still grateful my youngest niece could be here when she was exhausted and needed a safe comfortable place and I miss my nephew who lives and works out west ( Jasper AB) now. Wish I could go visit him. I am sure I miss him more than he misses me.
I know he has problems with bowels and I pray that God is taking care of him. I can barely take care of myself and I am not doing a good job these days.

Hi fromthegut,

What Stinky and Jett have said to you is absolutely true and I am speaking from the position of a carer not a sufferer.

I had cause to give my daughter the same advice, only few days ago, when she was wanting to get herself home from the airport, by train, late at night. My mum and brother wouldn't let her and she was annoyed about it, she didn't want to cause a fuss. I had to remind her that they were worried because they love her not because they wanted to p*** her off.

See what I mean? We do these things not because you are a burden or because we feel obligated but because we love you. Pride is a fine thing but sometimes you just need to put it in your pocket.

Take care,
Dusty

 

[Keona]

Jettalady,

Keona's prized possessions (aside from her kongs, frisbee's, rope, tennis balls, etc, etc) are her rawhides. Whenever she hears another dog, she walks around with her rawhides (sometimes 2 at a time in her mouth) groaning and making weird noises to protect it from other dogs. I believe they know when we are sick ..no doubt about it.When I am well, she pesters me to play with her all the time until shes worn out. When Im sick, thats when she brings me her rawhide and licks me incessantly.
Its not so bad on crohnies stomach if you get your dog to chew on it until it is very soft. You lose some of the nutrients but ... (smart ass! )

 

[MisB]

Today, my pets have helped me the most. My dogs and cats of snuggled with me and been very good. I think they know I don't feel good. I've read so many interested posts on this thread, there are too many to comment on right now, however, I do agree that the rawhides may not be a good idea. Would it hurt Keona's feelings if you politely declined and let her enjoy them for you? I would hate for you to feel like I do right now. :lol:

 

[Dunbar]

I am thinking that like 'fromthegut' I suffer from the -do not want to impose-family. I am used to doing things alone and I am discovering I cannot do that now, from my daughters, ex, neighbours and you guys I am learning to appreciate and accept, help and advice, when it is offered.
Thank You

 

[Chrismac]

1) My Mum - She's amazing. She still checks I am taking my medication, that I'm keeping up with appointments etc. even though I'm in another town, which is really good.. (because I'm not always the best at that) then if I have a really bad flare she is there straight away, offering me a bed in her house if I want, making sure I'm eating right, giving me lifts to the hospital, etc.

2) My boyfriend - He knew nothing about it but the name until he knew me but made sure he found out all about it before we were even together. We're long distance right now but he checks up on me.. wants to know whenever I'm in pain so he can help.. when he moves here in December he will be making sure I'm eating well, looking after myself, not doing too much etc. and will make sure he's there for me all the time. He's pretty wonderful.

3) Best mate - Karen. She's been around for 6 years of all this and is fantastic support. She'll feed me, take me away somewhere when I need to escape a couple of hours.. Listen to me go on about it all..