"Why can't you hang out?"

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nogutsnoglory

nogutsnoglory

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I have been out on disability and been in bad shape for weeks now. My friends say they are sympathetic but don't seem to get it at all. They keep asking me to go out and I keep telling them I'm not working because I'm so ill and it will be several weeks before I can hopefully begin to resume a somewhat normal life. They say ok but then a week later ask me to go out as if nothing happened.

Pardon my French but WTF!
 
Sorry to hear you have to deal with that :( It sucks because I'm sure you'd love to go out with them too. Even the people closest to us forget sometimes that we may not be able to do everything all the time because of crohns. I hope you can find something that works soon so you can get back to your normal life.

Hang in there!
 
Maybe they just don't want you to feel left out?

Hope everything gets better for you soon :)
 
Thanks guys. It's definitely rough because I want to hang out and feel like a normal young man. It would be great to not think twice about health, eat what you want and enjoy life. I'm sure my friends mean well but I guess they don't understand how debilitating this disease can be. They think oh your stomach hurts? So what everyone has bad stomach days.
 
I know the feeling!.. One of my mates even moaned because I had to cancel my birthday plans to go out drinking this weekend because I'm on antibiotics

Some people will just never get it
 
I'm on Ya Noy's side and that they don't want you to feel left out. It is tough to say no but it is better to get the rest and then see everyone again real soon rather than waiting a few more weeks! I see it is your birthday, happy 21st, hopefully when you do go out to celebrate, it will be a great one!

All the best,

Ricky.
 
I am sure they want your company. Sometimes friends think dragging you out might help. It's good to know they will be ready to take you out when you are stronger! Make sure you keep with them, invite them round to watch some telly. Friends are important. Take care of yourself.



Twitter:- _IJP_
 
I can understand this completely. I think it's hard for our friends/family to understand what we're going through because it entails so much. They think we'll eventually feel better after a few days rest. Not the case, obviously. Take care of yourself first!
 
i lost nearly all my friends through CD, but to be fair i rather have the firends i have now who understnad and appreciate my illness rather than people hwo think i am just fakng or stiching them up.
 
StaceyQ said:
i lost nearly all my friends through CD, but to be fair i rather have the firends i have now who understnad and appreciate my illness rather than people hwo think i am just fakng or stiching them up.
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You have us and we are here for you anytime hon! Just PM me if u ever need someone, ok? T;)
 
Just got another text asking me to go to a party. I have told this friend nearly ten times how sick I am and it will be weeks before I'm better. I'm infuriated that he is messaging me this.

It's one thing to ask how I am, even to try to get together to see me locally or at home but now I feel I'm not being taken seriously or he doesn't care enough to remember I'm not well. I am not responding his text.
 
nogutsnoglory said:
Just got another text asking me to go to a party. I have told this friend nearly ten times how sick I am and it will be weeks before I'm better. I'm infuriated that he is messaging me this.

It's one thing to ask how I am, even to try to get together to see me locally or at home but now I feel I'm not being taken seriously or he doesn't care enough to remember I'm not well. I am not responding his text.
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Try to look at the bright side, he misses you and just wants to see you! Most friends would've ditched you. He just wants you to know he is still thinking of you. Plz always try to look at the brighter side of things. Makes the crohn's much better too!:biggrin::heart:
 
It just makes me feel that anything I said about being sick goes right above his head. Not to mention every time I decline an invite and say I'm sick he doesn't bother to ask how I'm feeling or address it at all. Another week goes by and another invite like nothing happened.
 
nogutsnoglory said:
It just makes me feel that anything I said about being sick goes right above his head. Not to mention every time I decline an invite and say I'm sick he doesn't bother to ask how I'm feeling or address it at all. Another week goes by and another invite like nothing happened.
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Some people are just like that. If it doesn't hurt him then he won't acknowledge it. I have a sister like that. Never asks how I am or comments when I tell her i'm in a flare. It hurts your feelings. But then that is why we have crohn's and they don't. I really believe it is the more sensitive people who have it. ;)Hang in there and just maybe finally he will accept it and try to listen and be a friend. I hope so.;)
 
In that split moment that he is looking for someone to have fun with he probably forgets you are out of action. They might also think you have got better and forgot to tell them. I agree with others it is good that someone wants to go out and is still there. Most people give up! Invite them round for a film. It's always good to see people even f you feel dreadful. We all want that friend that never gives up. Take care of yourself.


Twitter:- _IJP_
 
Sorry that you have to go throught that. I feel ya! some of my friends back at home do the same thing, and it's like do you not realize what I just told you.
My best wishes to you :hug:
 
I get it more and more now that I suffer the same. My uncle used to cancel and/or not show up for many occasions. I always wished he would just wear something and just show up. Wow how simple when you don't live it. Now I think people really need us to educate them. Be specific and tell the truth about what we suffer. Why be ashamed it is not our fault, not our control. Help people understand. And if they want to see us, have them over. Thank god they keep asking, they are letting us know they are not forgetting. If tired of being asked...create a code...a signal....or agreement...."I will let you know when I can". I never accept invitations without say.....if my body lets me...I will be there. I feel people are mostly compassionate....and want to know more about it. It's confusing.
 
I cannot work a 40 hour normal shift, but I do some flexible hours helping the elderly and disabled, sometimes for pay and sometimes as a volunteer. I try to find things that they can do with their limitations just as I try to find what I can do with this STINKING obstacle. They often lift my spirits. I still would love to find something part-time that I could do at home just to enable me to use my brain and to have more interaction. It's a constant effort to figure out what I can and cannot do. It means a lot to me if I can encourage people with IBD and would always try to help you find something you can do.
 
Wonderful idea misunderstood! I agree 100% with helping the elderly and them helping you as well. I too enjoy that and took care of one lady for a year till she passed. We got a kick out of eachother and truly blessed eachother! Keep up the greatness!:ghug:
 
So to add insult to injury on this topic... Just yesterday I spoke with a friend on the phone and we said we should get together near my house to catch up. He knows I can't travel much right now.

Lo and behold today he texts me asking if this weekend ill go with him to a festival about 45 minutes away. I mean what the hell! I don't get it.
 
Being that he asked you, shows how much he truly likes you and wants to share your company! Plz don't be negative about friends who love you. They are rare. Yes I know they just don't get it, but I still appreciate every invitation because alot of people get none! When they stop coming, that is when you can complain. Sorry I don't mean to sound cold, but it is true if you think about it. Why not politely say I can't go because of the Crohn's but. I would love a visit sometime???:thumright:
 
It's a lot of my fam that doesn't get it not f rinds. It's hard for us to accept our illness and limitations. Asking you to go out is nice of them. They haven't forgotten you. But that is not the support you need. I would ask my friends to drive me to health food store or we would go to park. Places that have toilets! That way we could see each other but in a more low key way. Have you applied for Social Security or on that now? Hope u feel better soon
 

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