Why does my body hate me so much?

[lotte26]

Hey guys. Some of you may remember me, had severe crohns since I was 13, now have a colostomy with half of my large bowel removed and 50cm of small bowel. I got that done in late may. The crap thing is, it was the best I've felt in years, but only for two months. Now I am just as bad as I was before my operation and I really feel... confused and down. It feels like my disease has just sped up and is in a completely new area (pretty sure this time it's just below my stomach and duodenum.). I literally just came back from my "victory" holiday to celebrate my health. I was able to enjoy most of it but far out it made it hard for me. I am just crippled with pain. I can't keep down food now, and everything I eat feels like acid tearing thru my guts. Icreel like I have been thru so much this year that it is really frigging cruel that I am in this position again. Crohns is just the worst disease ever. I hate how people (unless they are really close to you and can read you) can never tell you are sick too, and they don't understand what a toll it takes on your body, even if you look well. And they tell you your eating wrong.. When actually everything is like pouring acid on your guts.. I am going to a new GI soon but probably not until the new year. My dr put me on prednisone today.. I hope it just helps a bit for the holidays as I really look forward to Christmas dinner basically all year!! Anyway just wondering I'd there anyone in the same boat as me? How do u cope? I feel so defeated.. I guess i just have to accept that I will always be in pain all my life. Anyway enough of my moaning.. Hope you are all as well as u can be, noone deserves crohns

 

[Tay]

Hi Lotte26

Yes its a horrible disease. I also have had the condition since I was 13 but wasn't diagnosed until 15. I am 52 now and have an ileostomy because of fistula +++.

Prednisolone has always worked for me during flare ups. Hopefully, you will respond well to it and it will calm things down for you in time for Christmas! but don't be too hasty in reducing the dosage. The disease does get you down big time, especially when it is diagnosed in your teens. I think overall I have had more ups than downs - but the downs are grim, as you know.

Hope you manage to enjoy your Christmas dinner!

Good luck and best wishes.

 

[Terriernut]

Charlotte, long time no see!

I am battling too. Off and on pred, flaring away. Just when I think its under control, here the f'er comes again. :voodoo:

Pred does work wonders.

I certainly hope you get to enjoy your xmas dinner. And the pred will probably work in time for that. (you'll be so hungry with the pred!)
:kiss:

 

[Gwen pippy]

Hi Charlotte
I'm so sorry that you are ill again, to go through all that pain and surgery only to have it return so soon, CD just sucks. Is there anyway for you to contact your old GI?
You are in my prayers and I hope the pred kicks in soon and makes you feel better to enjoy that christmas dinner.
Gwen xxx

 

[McStew]

Charlotte,
I'm sorry you're not feeling well and are feeling down about the disease. I know how you feel. When I saw the title of your post, it struck me, because I ask myself every day "why does my body hate me so much?". I know I could be a lot worse, but still, it's just a really difficult disease to deal with. Sometimes I think it can be too easy to over do it, because maybe for a split second you feel okay, then start feeling crap again. And- people commenting on my looks - I have more people comment on how well I'm looking when I'm so sick, I can barely move - and have lost an obscene amount of weight. argh! I completely understand about feeling like anything you eat is a poison to your body....or if you're not sure, you have to try it out to find out the end result...then the blame sets in. I swear, a never ending cycle. I'm trying to figure out what things I do for myself to try and get out of this rut....I don't really know, to be honest. I'm the only one who can pull myself out of this, but it's really hard to do that when I'm so exhausted to the point that I don't want to do anything.

Hang in there, I know how you feel, I wish we could all be better with the snap of a finger!

 

[Nyx]

Charlotte, I'm so sorry you're feeling like crap again so soon! Hopefully the pred will kick in and you can get back to feeling better in time for Christmas. I don't have any advice for you, but I'll be thinking of you...

 

[KazT17]

Hi Charlotte, I hear you sister. I am back in hospital for a proctectomy on 21st Dec. Can't see that I will be home for Christmas day. I see you had surgery in May this year too. Hope you improve soon and can enjoy Christmas xxx

 

[Kris]

I'm so sorry you haven't got it under control. We all know what it's like to be in that low spot you are in, so vent away. I also got sick and tierd of people telling me I ate wrong too. I would tell them that it put me in enscruciating pain just to drink water, so my eating habits had nothing to do with it. Escpecially when I wasn't eating ANYTHING at all. I hope the prednisone helps relieve your symptoms while they figure out your next treatment option. Good luck and you are in my thoughts.

 

[buckeyenut5]

Hey guys. Some of you may remember me, had severe crohns since I was 13, now have a colostomy with half of my large bowel removed and 50cm of small bowel. I got that done in late may. The crap thing is, it was the best I've felt in years, but only for two months. Now I am just as bad as I was before my operation and I really feel... confused and down. It feels like my disease has just sped up and is in a completely new area (pretty sure this time it's just below my stomach and duodenum.). I literally just came back from my "victory" holiday to celebrate my health. I was able to enjoy most of it but far out it made it hard for me. I am just crippled with pain. I can't keep down food now, and everything I eat feels like acid tearing thru my guts. Icreel like I have been thru so much this year that it is really frigging cruel that I am in this position again. Crohns is just the worst disease ever. I hate how people (unless they are really close to you and can read you) can never tell you are sick too, and they don't understand what a toll it takes on your body, even if you look well. And they tell you your eating wrong.. When actually everything is like pouring acid on your guts.. I am going to a new GI soon but probably not until the new year. My dr put me on prednisone today.. I hope it just helps a bit for the holidays as I really look forward to Christmas dinner basically all year!! Anyway just wondering I'd there anyone in the same boat as me? How do u cope? I feel so defeated.. I guess i just have to accept that I will always be in pain all my life. Anyway enough of my moaning.. Hope you are all as well as u can be, noone deserves crohns

Im 29 and have had Crohns for 22 years. A year just passed since I had my entire colon removed. I know what you are going through. Unless you know someone that has the disease or no someone who has a family member battling the disease NO ONE UNDERSTANDS. Have you ever tried Remicade? That knocked my Crohns into remission for awhile. The only thing you can do is stay positive. I was very depressed for a year and almost died because I was so sick. My colon was so diseased it caused bacteria to get in my blood stream. I am blessed to be alive. I was married not even a year and put my wife through all this. I blamed myself for a long time. She helped me realize you can only live each day like tomorrow is the last. Now even though I have an ileostomy for the rest of my life I have never felt so good. I have one surgery to go to remove my rectum next year but things could be worse. Stay strong! You arent alone.

 

[ameslouise]

Hi Charlotte - I am so sorry to hear you are having difficulties, and so soon after your surgery!

Were you taking any kind of maintence drug after your surgery? Hope the pred quiets things down for you and you can get on something to keep you well long-term. Remember to stay hydrated!!

Take care and keep us posted on how you are doing. - Amy

 

[lari]

I have been in a bad flare since May. I have been taking prednisone and it is the only thing that helps. The higher the dose the better I feel. Even though I now have a "moon" face and gained 8lbs..
I have also started entercort which is also a steroid but it doesn't have the bad side effects. I am like you...
Sick and tired of being sick and tired