Work and caring for a sick child

[tannersmom]

I was just wondering how many mothers on here work full time and manage to take care of their child during a flare? How do you cope?
I work full time and have no family help around, well my family that lives close all work too sooo. So far I am getting by but I know the bosses are getting tired of the missed days or leaving early. So I was just wondering how others managed or handled their situations.

 

[AZMOM]

Hey Tanner's Mom. I work full-time too. It is more than a juggling act sometimes. I'm not single Mom but my husbands job is about 90% travel so more often than not, in terms of logistics, I am handling it like one.

I don't have any magic advice. I would say though that as moms, we try to do it all and load a lot of unnecessary guilt on ourselves from all angles. AT least, that's what I have done! I have had to get over feeling "bad" for needing to take care of Claire. My new stance is very matter of fact about what I need to do. Flipside is I work hard while I'm here and am willing to take things home, etc and do what needs to be done to get the job done.

I have not applied for intermittent FMLA but if you have ANY concerns about the security of your job and the company has more than 50 employees, I wouldn't hesitate to use that benefit.

Thinking of you,

J.

 

[Rebecca85]

What job do you do? Would it be possible to do 'flexi time', where you work an agreed number of hours average per week, but you choose when. So when Tanner's poorly you could have time off and make it up later. Or vice versa, when he's good you can 'bank' hours to take off if needed.

 

[tannersmom]

AZmom sounds like you and I are in the same boat. My husbands job requires alot of travel so it is like I am a single mom most of the time. I have had to do the FMLA thing and I have had a flex schedule. But I decided to start this year out at the 40 hr work week,since Tanner had his surgery at the end of last year and seems ok. But I know that due to absences I am walking on thin ice and if things get bad again I am not sure what the bosses will do. They have worked with me great so far and my work is always caught up or finished ahead of schedule because of the fact I never know what my day holds. Here is the really sucky part.....I hold the insurance on the family. So as you can see this is just a little added stress to the situation. I am praying for a great year for Tanner, I believe this will be a great year. So maybe this won't be a concern this year or the next several!

 

[AZMOM]

Yep Tanners Mom, I think we are! And oh yeah, I hold the insurance too. This will just HAVE to be a great year for Tanner & Claire. :wink:

Deal?

J.

 

[DustyKat]

Hey tannersmom,

I work full time but work in a very family friendly environment so taking leave to care for sick children or partners is not an issue. Plus with universal health care we don't have the added burden of insurance.

My heart goes out to you hun. I hope more anything that Tanner has a fab year and this won't be an issue for you.

As hard as it is, and I don't know if it would put your mind at ease, but would it be worth meeting with your bosses and discussing your concerns so that you know where you stand?

Thinking of you, :hug:
Dusty

 

[archie]

It's really tough before I was diagnosed I knew I wasn't coping with a full-time job and 2 young children due to the fatigue, it was a rotten time and I was lucky as I have a great family that helped out. I did have to take time off work but as i'm self employed that wasn't an option long-term. I've now had surgery and don't suffer the fatigue now, back to work full time and find the kids easier. Hope you can get through this difficult period soon.

 

[cowgirlnz]

It's not easy on the Mum's is it - and people don't appreciate the added stresses - sometimes my six year old can be up four times a night to use the toilet, and that means I'm up to assist him. And then there's all the doctors appointments, and the travel time. And if there's a school trip I really have to be there, in case of accidents. And try planning a family holiday around Crohn's disease! (We couldn't get travel insurance, decided to risk it, and paid the price!).
I used to have a high paying career, but I've had to cut back to part time, working from home as much as possible. I work project by project, so if one comes along that's well paid enough I sometimes solve the problem by employing a nanny. But that really cuts down on my pay, and has all sorts of of associated guilt! Just can't win.

No easy answers sorry - but you're certainly not alone in trying to juggle work and care for a child with chronic illness.

 

[Zoodles]

I sometimes work from home. Is it possible for you to telecommute? I have a laptop set up to connect into work. Usually get more done that way as well.

Will add my hopes that it is a great year for Tanner to the others.

 

[Dexky]

Fortunately for us I carry the insurance and my wife is self-employed and can adjust her schedule around the needs of our kids. I hope Tanner continues to do well and this becomes a non-issue for you mom!!

 

[AntsMommy]

Tannersmom,

I sure can relate also! Just my luck - I left a job where I was 10+ years and was about to transition to working at home full time, didn't WANT to work at home (!!), and made the move to a new position in June - and Ant was diagnosed in September and it has been extremely difficult. (Also, I am single mom with no local family and my ex-husband lives in another state) Because I haven't been here a year, I am not eligible for FMLA yet, but being that I now work for a not-for-profit human services agency, I feel they are much more lenient than my former corporate environment. Take advantage of the FMLA. Even if you don't use the time, get your certifications from the health care provider in every year just in case!

And hopefully, Tanner will have an awesome year and you won't need it!