Work rant...am I being unreasonable or is he?

[Lisa]

Ok- I need a place to vent as my husband doesn't like hearing this stuff and/or getting involved - although he IS, like it or not.

We are having a 'weather event' here today - with snow and ice forecast. In fact, it has been snowing since the wee hours of the morning. When I got up, school was on a 2 hour delay, with most of the surrounding counties already having closed school for the day due to the weather and road conditions. I figured school would go from a delay to closed, and since my husband left for work at 6am to beat the traffic, I was home with Tori.

I called my boss just before 7 (just over an hour before I was supposed to be at work) to let him know I would not be in to work due to school probably being closed (no way to get daughter to child care from neighbors where she would normally wait during a delay)....also because the roads/driving conditions were bad. I had also just talked to my husband who was still on his way to work and doing about 25 mph on a 65mph highway.....

Well - I got YELLED at by my boss, told that I have a responsibility to the job and basically he was pissed that I was not coming in to work (a 45 mile drive one way!).....he yelled so much I had to hold the phone away from my year and could STILL hear him.....now, I have never heard him react this way to any of my co-workers when they have had to call in due to childcare issues.....in fact he had me in TEARS and I am still upset about the whole thing.

This is the email I have written and plan on sending to him - along with to HIS boss.....am I being unreasonable?????

I am very upset with the way you reacted to my calling out of work today utilizing a Personal Day today due to the prospect of school being changed from a delay to closed and the weather/road conditions. While I understand I have a job and responsibilities in Albany, I also have a job and responsibility at home, and to my daughter/family.

I do not appreciate being yelled at on the phone, or the implication that I am not telling the truth when I told you the road conditions are not good between my home and Albany. I had just spoken to Michael who told me traffic was moving about 25 miles per hour on the Thruway, and he was in 4WD in his state vehicle to maintain a safer driving condition. As you know, I have approximately a 45 mile drive one way, and the road conditions can and do vary greatly between home and Albany.

You also know that I have contingency plans for when school is just delayed, or closed and I have informed you in the past that in the event of a school delay I would most probably be late, especially if Michael is not available to stay with Tori until the bus comes or my Mother is able to watch Tori. Michael and I also try to share/equalize our having to take time off for childcare issues – he took a day off last week to stay with Tori when she was sick so I could report to work as scheduled, as I had been late earlier in the week due to the school closure/truck issues.

To reiterate our bad-weather plans – in the event of a school delay with no expected closure, I have made arrangements with my neighbor for Tori to stay at her house until the school bus comes if Michael is not available to stay with her. I cannot drop her off there before 7am however, which still means I may be late reporting for work if I am due in by 8am. I fully expect to charge any time that I am late reporting to work.

In the event of a school closure, I am usually able to drop Tori off at my Mothers’ house between 7-715 am if she is available to watch her for the day, NTO any earlier. If there is a non-weather related closure, I generally have another backup at the daycare Tori used to go to – however on days like today, the daycare is generally closed also (as are the daycares in Albany).

While I can understand your wanting as many of the Detail members working as scheduled, I cannot justify risking my life and personal vehicle in conditions such as today, especially with the forecast calling for worsening (icing) conditions as the day goes on.

Furthermore, if I am not entitled to use Personal time for a situation such as today, please let me know in writing – but to my knowledge this is the type of instance it can be used for.

I did speak to Michael after he arrived at the main office in Albany, and we propose the following to help avoid additional time being charged in the future – As long as Michael does not have any conflicting assignments and is available – If the forecast is for bad weather with the prospect of a school delay/closure, I request that I am able to change my schedule on short notice for that day to 7am-3pm so I can avoid the worst of the rush-hour traffic on the Thruway. Michael will be requesting through his Supervisor to adjust his schedule to 10am-6pm for that same day so he can either put Tori on the bus or drop her off at my Mothers’ house and also avoid the worst of the traffic.

If this is not acceptable to you, please let us know what alternative(s) you have in mind.

 

[Guest]

well yes i would send an email to him, and cc it to his boss.. but i'd be tempted to check a couple of things out first, to give you more ground to stand on..

if you have a contract of employement, i'd look at it and see what the company policy is on short-notice days off, Personal Days etc., and i'd also speak to the HR department there to see what their advice is regarding you having to take a day off because of childcare/travel/weather issues..

i'd also mention in the email that he employed you knowing that a) you had a child, and b) you live 45 miles away - and anyone with any knowledge of managing people should be aware that occasionally these issues may cause disruption to your working hours..

 

[Lisa]

ding - generally a 1 hour notice is required for calling off work...which I gave..... We do have a contract, I have to go back and look at it again regarding days.....but Personal days cannot be denied unless there are extenuating circumstances.....and my showing up in an office 'just in case' there is an emergency (while there is at least one other person there anyway) wouldn't fly.

I did contact an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) employee - he and I are going to have a chat later today.....and I may end up talking to Human Resources too.....

It isn't like I call in every week either.....AND I told him back in the fall that I would have days where I would possibly be late due to weather/childcare. He seems to expect me to 1) have my daughter spend the night at my Mothers house in case school is closed - and if it isn't, well she has no way to catch the bus at her house! 2) leave for work at least a half hour early 'just in case' I get caught in traffic so I'm not late.....yet if I show up for work a half hour early, he probably wouldn't expect me to leave a half hour early! And I sure am NOT going to give him that time without getting paid!

 

[Guest]

well in that case i think you have right on your side... but i'd hang fire on the email until you've chatted to the EAP guy - you may have other stuff to say to your boss once you've had that conversation.

good luck!!

 

[Lisa]

umm...too late....email sent - AND his boss read it.....don't know if my boss read it - haven't heard anything back and have not gotten a read receipt.......

Guess it is looking like a good thing that I am seriously considering changing work locations/assignments once a new program is finalized at work!.....

Also VERY glad I have a place like this to vent where I know non one at work is reading!

 

[ameslouise]

Good luck, I hope things turn out okay. You are not overreacting. Here's the deal - you have personal days, and they are just that: PERSONAL. If all that is required is an hour's notice, you have nothing else to explain to your boss. "I will not be in today; I am taking a personal day." Done.

Paid time off is paid time off, and you are entitled to it. My guess is that something else was bothering your boss, or you were the tenth person to call off today, or he had a hemroid or something.

Let us know how it all works out. - Amy

 

[Lisa]

thanks gals...I have an email in to our HR department too asking what my rights are as far as taking accrued time off.....I did get an email from my boss - in response to mine....he basically said it is not the jobs problem that I have a family and commitments to that (and a few other things)...also that he had 'talked to me' about being late in the past...and how he had offered to work with me on it.....HOWEVER - last week is the ONLY time I have had to charge time off for being late due to school/weather since September (I will be verifying it in the morning on my time sheets, which are computerized) so he is full of ****. I'm pretty sure I have an email from before school started too saying that I may be a few minutes late and would make it up if I was during the week - and/or adjust my schedule accordingly.....

I am NOT looking forward to work tomorrow - one good thing is I ahve a Dr appt at 11, with approved leave from 1030-@1200 for it...with me going in an hour early to avoid charging any time - which is something I worked out a couple weeks ago with my boss....so it isn't like I use time all the time.....I am soooooo tempted to call in sick tomorrow, but need to make this appointment anyway (Derm yearly exam) and it is @15 minutes from work.....

Still been ar eally crappy day...even my husband commented on how I looked when he got home....going through crying jags all day doesn't help your complexion!!!....wonder if I have some kind of hormone thing going on too? I do have my period!

 

[Sue-2009]

Well...what happened? Sue

 

[Jennjenn]

If you have an agreement with your boss about being late for weather and childcare then that should have been put in writing. I am not sure if I missed in here if you have that in writing, if you do then I am sorry. One thing that I have learned from a lot of aspects in life is to get things in writing.

As far as personal days, like Amy stated, personal days are personal! If you are not over your time, I would believe that you are more than entitled to take them. That has been the way it was in the companies that I worked for.

My friend and I still laugh about one company that we worked for. When we started it was winter. There were two huge back to back blizzards in one week. The phone calls went out that they were closing. When we got to work our messages on the computer showed a huge letter from the president. It stated that with the weather conditions like that our safety was most important and that they would only be fair to us to close for the day. Within that month we had more and more snow storms. We closed 5 times. The day after the 5th time the message on the computer made us laugh. That stated, this is a company, we need to be profitable and stay open. You are an employee and need to be here, if you have difficulty with traveling in rough weather conditions, leave earlier.
We laughed and said what about our safety!
I worked for them for four years and I was well liked within the company. I once called in for a personal day saying that I was too tired to come in becaused I moved the whole day before. YES!! I said I was too tired to come in lol. My boss repeated it back to me slowly when I was saying I needed to take a personal day because of that, and then laughed when I then said, what would you like me to lie to you like the others do. Would it have been any better if I lied and said Im not feeling well!This was all before I got really sick and she said thank you I will see you tomorrow...It was a personal day!

How your boss reacted was not appropriate. Regardless of whatever situation he has to handle, no one should be yelled at like that. That's harrassment. I do hope that things work out for you.

 

[Sue-2009]

BTW, no need to explain a "personal day". That is insane. Sue