Worried about my son going off to college

[Kaitlyn]

My 18 year old son is leaving in a month for college and I'm scared. He has had Crohn's for awhile and knows how to manage it but I'm still worried because my son is one of those kids that pushes him self and never rest so that really worries me because at least when I'm here I can make him rest but I'm not with him at school. Also if he gets really sick it would take me forever for me to come get him it's a long drive. I'm just worried (I'm a mother it's my job to worry :lol: ) I just need some advice on this like how to prepare him.. And what doctors files and things like that
Thank you

 

[Clash]

My son is not quite at that age yet but it is coming soon so I know this is something I will soon have to face as well.

There are a few here that have kids off at college or headed to college, I'm going to tag them to give their experiences, Dusty, Tesscorm, and CrohnsMom.

Hope all goes well for your son and it is an easy transition for you both!

 

[my little penguin]

Does he have a GI near where he is going? or just a local one?
is his ped gi going to still treat him since he is 18?
Have you had him meet with the colleges office of disabilities?
Does he have a 504 from high school to transfer to college?

has he been to the student health office to no how to navigate there system?

 

[my little penguin]

http://www.ibdu.org

 

[Novice]

Make sure he registers with the office of disability. He'll be ok he needs this opportunity to begin yo learn how to manage his body on his own just be there when he needs you lol. Best of luck!

 

[Tesscorm]

Scary, isn't it!?!? My son is also heading off to university in September!

At a certain point, we have to just let them take responsibility! I also worry about him not getting enough rest, not eating properly, the parties that will take place, etc., etc.! :lol: But, I've done all I can do to prepare him, as I'm sure you've done. He understands the importance of taking care of himself, I've stressed what he needs (supplements, diet, etc.) and, now, it has to be up to him. :ack:

Is your son going very far? My son's school is approx. 2 hours away. We did speak to the GI and he didn't see a need for a local GI - he felt if Stephen needed to see a GI and the two hour drive was too long, then he should be heading to ER.

I will be stocking him Boost shakes to supplement his diet (which I hope he drinks!)

I've also made up a wallet-sized card for him to keep with his ID. It lists his diagnosis, treatment (remicade), allergies, supplements, GP's name and number, GI's name and number and, of course, every possible number where I can be reached! :redface: (This actually came in handy when Stephen was recently injured while away in a Spanish-speaking country.)

Stephen has surprised me, at times, with his knowledge/awareness of his crohns... when push comes to shove, I think they are more responsible than they let on!

Will you be able to see him fairly often or will he be too far away?

I'll also tag S mom as her son is also leaving for university in September.

 

[my little penguin]

What about medic alert dog tag?
All the info including electronic medical records .
http://www.medicalert.org/product/catalog/dog-tags

They have them in Canada as well
Just a thought

 

[Tesscorm]

I thought about that too BUT Stephen would probably forget to put it on and lose it in a week! :lol: This card, at least, just stays in his wallet. (And, simple to update - just print out a new one.)

 

[Kaitlyn]

Tesscorm he will be about 4 hours away so not a terrible drive but still long. I think I will get to see him bout once a month maybe twice when we can. I also wish you the best of luck with your son
Amd my little penguin to answer your questions in your first post yes we have looked into a GI near the school. He does have a 504 plan. We have not met with the colleges office of disabilities but I will try to at least get some info.
Thank y"all for the advice very helpful and anymore advice y"all got is greatly appreciated

 

[ChampsMom]

Oh my... We are not there (yet), but I have had spent (too much) time thinking about this... My son will probably do a semester in college and then leave for a 2 year mission (which we have no idea where he'll be sent)...

For me, for now - all I do is pray...

Great ideas and support above!

Good luck! If it is okay, I'll add you and your son to my prayers...

 

[DustyKat]

Hi Kaitlyn,

My two are at university. My son attends a local university so he is still under my eagle eye. :lol:

However my daughter goes to university in Sydney. It is approximately 600kms away and for us her GI was already 3 hours away but still the same distance for her from the city. She was 17 when she left, I felt that the distance was too great to continue seeing her GI at the time and I knew she would have to become responsible for her own health.

Through our school system she was already flagged as having a disability so the university was aware of her. If this isn't the case where you are then I would contact the disability services unit at the uni and have him registered. Even if your son never utilises their services I feel it is a good to have as a back up any way.

The university she attends is attached to a very large teaching hospital so if she ever needed emergency care that is where she would go. So with that in mind I rang the health service on campus (with my daughter's permission) and asked that she be assigned one GP. I then spoke with that GP about Sarah and asked that they recommend a GI to me at the hospital that had IBD as their prime area of interest. They provided me with a name and I asked that when Sarah came to see them she be referred to the GI for an initial consult.

Now the way our health system works here is the GP is the hub of all care. They refer you to a specialist and the specialists then ensure that information is passed back to them. This also applies with hospital admissions and all other health professionals, so the GP has your complete health record. I then had our GP, that has seen Sarah since birth, send an electronic copy of all her records to the GP at the university. So since 2010 Sarah has been in control of her health.

Sarah went through a very difficult time in her last year of school. She was 3-4 years post diagnosis and although in remission she did have issues associated with surgery and she hit the wall psychologically...big time. To say I was nervous when she jumped in the car at the end of that year and headed off would be the biggest understatement of all time! :lol:

As it was she stepped up in a way I really didn't think she would at the time. Going away to university really was the best thing that happened to her. Growing up in a small town, and with some other family dynamics that were happening with her brother, I think getting away allowed her to re-establish herself and her identity, if that makes sense. She has taken very good care of herself and her health and has only gone from strength to strength. She never ceases to amaze me.

It would seem that most, if not all, of the kids here are very driven. In our case they seem to have found their limits and have pulled back when need be. I know the decision to do so has been very difficult for them but in the end they have put their health first. That and a knowledge that to continue on would mean that they would fall short of their own expectations of themselves.

Good luck mum!

Dusty. xxx

 

[my little penguin]

Tess
Medic alert comes with a card to carry in your wallet as well
They have shoe tags
bracelets
dog tags
necklaces
sports bands and
watches
so something for everyone
Ds wears a plain bracelet - it never comes off except for MRI's
that way if he is unconscious the right people know what he has and what he is one when need since shoes get tossed as do wallets in some types of accidents

All medical professions know what it looks like and can see what is needed quickly.
There may not be time to "look" for a wallet
attached to a wrist they do not miss.

add the medical records portion that the docs can get and well worth it.

DS has asthma and food allergies so we really want the bracelet to speak for him if we/He can't
.

 

[Tesscorm]

So one of each for Stephen! :lol: I will look into it because I agree, it's a much better system and more immediately recognizable than a random card in his wallet (and, yes, he has forgotten his wallet at home! :yfaint

I'll speak with him about it before he heads off to school. Do you know if it is recognized and if the information is available internationally?

 

[my little penguin]

Medic alert is international so no matter what the language all ent and medical professional know what it means
Important stuff is engraved on the back
Plus an Id number and phone number
We have called Canada medic alert from the us to order stuff before
They could see DS 's info no problem .

If you call they can tell you about the personal medical record and storage of PDFs plus they will tell what should go on the laminated /plastic medical alert card and what needs to be engraved on the emblem .

 

[my little penguin]

Bonus you can update electronic records as needed twenty four hours a day
So no problem with med changes
It tracks all docs
Meds
Allergies
Conditions
Etc...
You pay for the service not just an Id bracelet or card
Someone will always answer the phone if you or docs call.

 

[Tesscorm]

Thanks MLP, I will definitely look into it. I agree with what you said that there can be an emergency situation where they can't look (or find) wallet.

 

[IJP]

Kaitlyn, I wonder if I cld give the view from the son ... I was once in a similar situation, a few years ago now ;-) But I had to learn to cope with Crohns myself, I was going to have to do it one day. There will be blips, but that is the way we learn. Did I sometimes push myself too far? Yep, probably still do. But it was a step to me taking control of the Crohns. My parents worried about me every day, they then worried about me when I worked in a peace keeping mission, they still worry, but they know if I need them I can just pick up the phone. Or wait a couple of hours until mum phones again ;-)

Twitter:- _IJP_

 

[Tesscorm]

Thanks IJP, appreciate your viewpoint!! And, :rof: re mum's phone call!

In learning to deal with your crohns on your own, do you have any advice for a teen about to head off to university? Something you wish you'd known then...

 

[IJP]

I would say don't be afraid to ask for help when needed. Friends are important and they will provide support, but they have to know you need help. Oh, and dont try to follow the herd. Everyone is unique and has their own battles. But main piece of advice, enjoy the experience.

Twitter:- _IJP_

 

[Kaitlyn]

Thank you IJP I'm going to show him your post maybe he can learn something lol but thank you to all of you im kinda feeling better abut it

 

[Tesscorm]

Thanks IJP! Great advice!!

 

[crohnsinct]

Ha! O's GI is a control freak. You tell him where your kid is going and he finds a local GI and infusion center and coordinates all care. So I guess there are advantages to having a control freak GI when you are a control freak parent.

O has RoadID. Basically like a medicalert bracelet but sold for runners and bikers. She has the sports band style and same as MLP says, all info updated online by me 24/7, an ID number and live person answering the phone should the need arise.

I also wonder about consequences for their decisions when they are out on their own. Maybe that's because I know what I was like and I didn't have a chronic illness!