Worst Fear

[Pirate]

I have had the thing that I fear the most placed in front of me today. My son, that just had the new baby boy, his third child, at the age of 28, told me that he is being checked out for Crohns. He had talked to Janis quite sometime ago about it and they had decided to not tell me. When I talked to him today at the hospital he was not doing great and he admitted that he was being seen for possible Crohns due to my history of Crohns. I was 28 when I was diagnosed.

I have feared this moment for years and now I have to watch my son go through the tests and emotions that I felt when trying to find the reason for the problems. At least he has a starting point to work with and hopefully it ends up being something less severe than CD.

 

[Crohn's 35]

Awe Pirate, I know I could tell you not to worry but I know you will. It comes with being a parent. Did he mention his symptoms? Are you the only in your family that has it? Incidence is supposed to be very low unless another family member or Janis' family has something. Try not to worry until the results are in. Fingers crossed and let us know (meaning me ) how things turn out ok!

 

[Nancy Lee]

Ah Greg...sorry to hear this...I know I have lived in fear of one of my children or grand children showing symptoms...daughter already has IBS...it really is a worry.

I did have a talk with my gastro doctor though and he told me the risks of inheriting Crohn's disease is not as high as it was once thought to be.

Whatever it turns out to be...they caught it early
and please do not blame yourself if it is Crohn's.

Hugs~Nancy

 

[Guest]

i hope your son is ok, and that his diagnosis doesn't turn out to be Crohn's or any other serious condition, & i can understand your worry completely.

i just wanted to say that, if it does turn out to be Crohn's, he will have a fantastic understanding support system from you, as you've been through it, know how to cope with all the ups and downs, both physically and emotionally, and that means a lot. so many of us feel alone, particularly in the early days of post-diagnosis.

also, treatments are improving all the time - you say you were diagnosed in your 20's - even since then there will have been many discoveries about Crohn's Disease which will be available to help your son, if he does have it, that weren't around to help us when we were younger.

my very best wishes to him, and please let us know how things go.

 

[kello82]

aw im so sorry to hear that pirate.
i have often thought of that, not that i am considering having children anytime soon lol, but just hypothetically of having to make that decision of possibly passing on my disease.

i know its impossible, or well i would think its impossible, but try not to feel guilty. if you could have done ANYthing else to make your children the healthiest humans on earth you would have. thats how parents are =]
nothing is any more your fault than it is YOUR parents fault, and their parents and so on.

 

[Jerman]

Greg, your love of your family always comes through in your posts. Even if there was a chance that you may have passed it on, look at what else you lend to those in your life on a regular basis: loyalty, trust, comedic wit, and most of all courage.
Strong thoughts of health coming your way, I hope it all turns out well.

 

[ChefShazzy]

Sorry to hear of your son's health issue, and that you are faced with some difficult emotions. On the bright side, you can be a great support to him no matter what the test results show. Don't feel like any of this is your fault, that's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes, the luck of the draw. No one in my family had any history of bowel issues, so that leaves me wondering where this all came from. If you have Crohn's and your son ends up having Crohn's... maybe there's some way you can become involved with research about finding the cause and cure that may be related to genetics.

 

[Astra]

Hi Greg

Sorry to hear this news, but at least he has his Daddy to see him through this!
Only you will know how he feels, and will be able to guide him.
I worry all the time about my kids, and my daughter who is nearly 19 is already complaining of belly aches, and asks if she has Crohns too! If she has, I'll make sure I jump thro bloody hoops to get a dx for her, whether it kills me!
That's what we do, as a parent, and you will be the best doctor for your son, guaranteed!
love as always
xxx

 

[Mary]

Sorry to hear that Greg. My daughter who is 14 has been complaining of stomach aches for a year now. I worry about her too! But its not a death sentence. My brother who was 40 had chronic headaches and they said it was a sinus infection and it wasn't it ended up being a fatal brain tumor. So Crohn's sucks but you don't die from it!

 

[Pirate]

Mary, I'm sorry to hear about your brother. I know there are things much worse than CD.

Thanks everyone for the kind words. He will have a great support team and he is a strong willed person so if it is CD then he will be okay.

Penny, he has the upper left and upper right quad pain, his bowels are formed but very soft and narrowed about the size of a pencil, bloating, foul gas and quite a bit of it. Painful gurgling and has complained of a sharp pain in his rectum at times. The stomach pain has been bad enough to have him curled up in a ball on the floor. No blood, but he has had undigested foods and a lot of mucus

 

[Crohn's 35]

Greg, that wasn't what I wanted to hear, ouch. Really sounds like my symptom in the beginning to, I was 31 when I got pretty bad. Well the only good thing is, like Ding says you have the knowledge and experience if it comes out to be Crohn's. I don't bleed either and never have.

I still hope it is not, but let us know ok? Try not to worry, Janis doesnt need two sick men on her hands. Hang in there, and stay tough!

 

[whysoserious]

I'm sorry to hear that, Pirate. I can tell from your posts that you really love your family and your son is lucky to have such a wonderful father. Like everyone else has said, if your son does end up having Crohn's he will have a great and supportive father to help him.

 

[ameslouise]

Hi Greg - I am so sorry to hear this. I think it is what every Crohnie parent fears. We would gladly take on what we have two or three times over in order to keep it from our child.

If it does turn out to be CD, at least he can benefit from your experiences. I know that doesn't help ease your pain (or his) but the best you can do is to be ther for him. We are too if he needs us!

Good luck and please pass along best wishes to your son.

-Amy

 

[fromthegut]

I have very hard time hearingsomeone even suggest that you could pass a disease along to soneone. I mena I lived wit that for years and didn't have children ebcasue of it. I was too afraid i would apss along a disease to my children and that my husband would reject me becasue of it. I think it had to do with the fear and control my mother lived in with diseases. Like somehow she ahd the power over them.
So sad. I too [ray that I can let go of feeling responsbile for my disease and anything else that goes with it. I often try to pretned everything is ok when it is nopt. One thing I am going to change is suggesting people come to my pale more foten. I'm tired of travellign to others homes. It is small and nopt anywhere near stylish but I could use some help with that. It is exhasuting. I seem to take care of others but not ask for help myself.
I am certin people find it boring when they come to visit e. I think it is because I live a simple life. I'd prefer palying cards or baord gamnes to almost anything.
I heard seomthign on the radio the other day. it said that most people like a gift that is home made. More personal. Well i am going to bring people offer and offer them a gift. A Sandwich !! Here.. I made you soemthing... hope you like it ! So cute. I say .. Keep it Simple ! Bring back simple lunches and dinenrs... that's for me.

 

[acg101]

hey greg, sorry to hear the news about your son. Your post are always so sensitive and caring so no matter what your son has a father that cares and will be there for him.
Best wishes
ACG

 

[uab grad student]

Hi Greg,

I fear passing on this disease to one of my children one day as well, but like others have said, at least if he does have CD (which I hope he doesn't) he will have someone with experience who loves him and can give immense support. He won't be going into as blindly as you did when you were diagnosed. I'm sure from all your posts that you are a very loving father and having you will help him be strong while he has to undergo tests, etc.

I'm keeping you in my prayers and hoping it isn't Crohn's but if it is I hope they will find some medications to get him in remission quickly.

Best,

Ashlee

 

[DustyKat]

Hi Greg,

How is your son going?

 

[Pirate]

Well, he hasn't set up an appointment yet with the doctor. Being a little stubborn or just isn't accepting the fact that somethings wrong. Still working on him.

 

[DustyKat]

It's such a difficult time for both of you. I wish you all the luck in the world sorting things out with your son. My thoughts are with you.