Young & embarrassed

[Hannah.evans1]

Hi everyone! my name is Hannah. I am only 15 years old and newly diagnosed with Crohn's disease.Not being able to do all the things that I used to, I'm having a pretty hard time dealing with it. My friends don't understand why it's hard for me to do everything that they do no matter how much I try to open up to them. This is my first year of high school and even though I try not to let Crohn's disease stop me, I can't help but feel like I'm missing out. I have terrible stomach pain and some days I can't even get out of bed, needless to say I'm not exactly up to doing everything that I used to do with no problem. I've always been for lack of a better term "popular" and I'm starting to lose my friends and spend most of my time at home. Things just haven't been going the best for me lately. I was just wondering if there was anyone out there who could relate to how I'm feeling or offer any advice.
P.S thank-you for your time & replies would be great

 

[Clash]

Hi Hannah, my son was diagnosed this year at 15, he has since turned 16. There us a teen's section of the forum you may want to check out. I know before my son's meds started working he had a lot of trouble with missing out on stuff with friends and such too. It has gotten a lot better since his symptoms have been controlled with his medications, although he isnt in remission yet. I hope you find some relief soon and things get better for you.

 

[Hannah.evans1]

Thanks! I'll definitely check it out. I'm new to this website and not quite sure how it works yet. Good to know I'm not the only one feeling like this though!

 

[Clash]

At top of this page, on the left, if you click on where it says CROHNS FORUM it will take you to the main page and you will see all the different subforums. You should fund the teens subforum there.

 

[Ams-Qld]

Hey Hannah,
I know it is hard to adjust to at first, but it will get easier as you get used to your meds. Hopefully you will be in remission very soon and will start feeling yourself again! My son is 13 and has had crohn's for about 3 years. A few months after diagnosis he was back feeling well and enjoying sport and spending time with friends. It would be great to get on to the teen forum as you are certainly not alone. Will pray you are feeling great very soon!! Blessings, Ams

 

[Angrybird]

Hello Hannah and welcome to the forum.

I am sorry to hear that you having such a tough time at the moment Have you been given any medication for the tum yet and if so which ones and at what dosage? How aften are you currently seeing the gastro doc to see how things are doing? Definetly check out the above mentioned teen forum and just know that whilst it may not feel like it now it is possible for things to get better.

AB
xx

 

[Jmrogers4]

Hi Hannah, definitely check out the teens forum. There are also summer camps around the country for kids with Crohn's or Colitis, my son is 13 and was diagnosed 3 years ago. He missed a lot of school as well until his meds started working sometimes it can take a little while to find the right med/combination to work for you.
My son has one or two really good friends whom he has confided everything about the disease and what he goes through with a flare, this really helped especially in the beginning when he couldn't do everything he wanted.

 

[SarahBear]

Hi, Hannah! Welcome to the forum!

This is definitely the place to find people who can relate. Like others have said, you can find support from people your age on the teens forum!

I went through similar issues in my junior year of high school; I ended up going on the Home Bound program so I didn't have to physically go to school. I know it isn't an ideal situation, but taking some time off may allow you to focus more on your health. You might want to keep something like that in mind as a last resort.

As for your friends, how much do they know about what you're going through now? You said you've tried to explain to them, but it really is hard to understand. They probably saw you a year ago feeling great, and suddenly you're sick. Unless they have experience with chronic illnesses, it'll probably take them a while to fully understand that you are sick, even if you don't look it. You might try inviting them over to watch a movie or play video / board games and talk to them about what is going on with you.

I'm sorry I can't be much more help, but I'm wishing you all the best! Please let us know how things go for you.

 

[ForeverCrohns]

Hello Hannah
Welcome to the forum!
I am sorry you are having a hard time dealing with Crohn's .. I were diagnosed with Crohn's when I were 15 too and I went through tough times .. It is not easy to get it especially when you are a teen and it takes time to adjust to , give yourself time and you will get used to it and it will feel much easier .. and as said check the teens section :hug:

 

[afidz]

HI hannah and welcome to the forum!
As everyone has suggested, check out the teens only section, I am sure there are kids on there that know what you are going through. I was diagnosed at 18 but I started feeling sick around 16 or 17 and my friends just didn't understand when I said that I was not feeling well. My best advice is to concentrate on feeling better and obtaining remission, if they are your true friends they would understand and love to hang out with you when your feeling better. Also, sarahbear's idea of having them over at your house is a nice idea, that way you can be in your own enviroment. Are your teachers pretty understanding? Is it affecting your school work?
I hope that you start feeling better soon!

 

[BLEEDBLUE214]

I was diagnosed at the age of 18, right in the prime of my high school years. I missed a lot of school because of it, and wasn't able to do the things I once was able to do. Even though your friends may not understand what you're going through right now, just know that there are people that know exactly what you're going through and are there to support you! Trust me I know. I went through the exact same thing!

 

[StaceyQ]

Hey and welcome to the site

Please dont feel embarassed, as you can see we are all here and have been exactly what you are going thorugh.

I too lost alot of friends but to be honest if they dont understand then they are not real friends.

you will feel better once your meds kick in, but stay strong until then x

 

[Hannah.evans1]

Thank-you for all the responses I am currently going to the hospital every 8 weeks for Remicade and I take pentasa 4 times a day. I haven't seen much of a change yet so I am looking into other options. I'm kind of scared to try some of the things my G.I doctor brought up so I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. Suggestions would be great. As for my friends I think they do mean well. They know I have Crohn's, but I don't think they know what it is or how it affects me. For some reason whenever I bring it up they seem to get uncomfortable so I've kind of just given up on trying to help them understand. It does help a-lot to know I'm not alone in all this, since most of the time I feel that I am. I wish the best to all of you and hope you had a happy thanksgiving !

 

[Amberly]

Hannah,

I went through something similar in high school. I actually ended up missing a month of school, not consecutively, but that's when I realized something was seriously wrong. It was really difficult to open up to my friends and I didn't until recently. While some still don't understand, and I'm not a sure a person truly can without experiencing a chronic illness, I've realized that opening up to them has made it easier. They understand now when I have to cancel plans or don't feel up to something.
I'm going through the "they get uncomfortable when I talk about it" phase with my brother right now. He usually doesn't want to hear anything about it because it makes him feel awkward. So I know how you feel. I would suggest not to give up though; friends and family tend to come around, they could just need time.

I hope you are well and the treatment starts to work better!

 

[Hannah.evans1]

Yeah it can be pretty hard sometimes. I miss a-lot of school too and it makes it almost impossible to catch up on the work that I missed. How did you keep up with everything? Did your teachers help you? Some of my teachers are very supportive but to most of my teachers I'm just another student and they usually have no interest in catching me up with what I missed. I hope you're right about my friends though. I miss them but at the same time I'm kind of upset that we've been so close for the past few years and now when I need them the most their not here for me you know? I know they could never completely understand but I just wish they would be open to trying to understand at least. I understand that their probably not used to seeing me sick like this because I'm not even used to it myself, I just wish I didn't feel so alone all the time. Anyways, enough complaining I hope everything goes well with your brother, I'm sure he will get used to it over time and it won't bother him as much.
P.S Thank-you for responding, it helped to hear you went through some of the same things.

 

[LondonSnow]

Hey Hannah, I'm recently 20 (going from 19 to 20 really makes you feel like a dinosaur for a bit, enjoy the 'teenager' title while you can) and in my second year of uni but I'm going through pretty much the same thing. I've missed about a third of my lectures/seminars this year, I don't feel too hot to all the ones I turn up to, and only one of my tutors know what's wrong with me. Socially things are worse than last year because I can't always go out with my mates like I used to anymore, I definitely don't do nights out anymore, and I can never promise people I'll definitely be somewhere since I never know until the last minute if I'm going to be feeling okay and it makes planning things hell. Nobody likes planning stuff for people to say 'maybe I'll come', and yeah, it's tricky. I pretty much only do things if it's just at someone else's flat and it's a relaxed movie night in or something.

I have a couple of friends who definitely don't hold it against me but I can't help but feel it's affected some of my friendships.

So uhh, I can relate to you, but a little too well; I've got no advice either. I don't even know what I'm doing. I guess there's no real way to handle it completely. We'll make it through for sure, but not in an 'ideal' way. Not in the way we wish we could.

 

[Hannah.evans1]

Haha yeah I've been looking forward to this time in my life since I was younger and it's turned out to be nothing like I thought.. Of course I never thought I'd have Crohn's though either. I can definitely relate to the planning stuff though. My friends get so frustrated with me when I cancel at the last minute, but I can never really tell when my stomachs going to act up. Their kind of starting to give up on making plans with me, not that I can blame them. Sometimes I don't think they understand I physically can't do certain things, in their minds I choose not to. That's okay though ... Maybe they just need time to adjust.

 

[Catherine]

Hi Hannah

Just wanted to say welcome.

Do you have a 504 plan, it may help with school. I'm not from the US so going to mention clash, kimmidwife, and tesscorn who would know a lot more about the US school systems.

 

[Kip1]

Hi Hannah welcome to the forum.

I think maybe having your friends over & explaining everything about the disease would be a good thing. Tell them about your meds & the side effects they bring & the most important thing, how you are feeling about what is happening to you.
That way you can tell them that you would like to carry on as normal where you can but when you are having problems they can fully understand & support.
If they know all the ins & outs of Crohns they can understand when you have to cancel at the last minute otherwise to them you will just have plain old tummy trouble.
:Flower:

 

[Amberly]

Hannah,

I'm sorry that you are missing so much school. That way probably the hardest part of my senior year for me. Most of my teachers were good at helping me catch, even though I didn't go into detail with what was wrong me, since, at the time, I did not know that I had Crohn's. For the teachers who seem to just treat you like another student, I would talk to them about everything and let them know what is going on. The past few weeks have been hard, and I've missed a lot of my college classes. I did not want to tell the teachers but I did so I won't get dropped from the courses and they're so nice and understanding about it. So give talking to those other teachers a try. And there could always be something you can do at the Main Office, too, if that doesn't work. Just ask for all your missed assignments whenever you miss a day and get them turned in as quickly as possible so it does not build up!

Friends are a difficult thing. At first, mine didn't understand at all, and it has taken a while to get to the point that we are. But we did get there. So keep your chin up and keep working at it. They'll eventually come around, and if they don't, new friends could understand too! I hope they do sooner than later.

Thanks for the wishes with my brother!

 

[Jmrogers4]

Hannah,
If you don't already have one you need to talk with your parents and your school counselor about getting a 504 plan in place at school. This is your right as an american citizen with a disability.
My son has one and it includes things like being able to get up and leave anytime to use the restroom without having to ask permission first, stop the time testing so if he is having problems especially taking a state test or timed test and has to get up and leave the clock stops while he is gone. It also has about make up work and giving more time to get it done as if he is going through a flare as I'm sure you are aware there is a lot more fatigue then normal ( A lot of his teachers will only give the really big assignments "the meat" as opposed to the busy work/class work "potatoes" assignments when he has missed.
There is a brochure put out by CCFA (Crohn's and Colitis Foundation) that is written for teachers about what Crohn's is and how it affects you and how it can interfere with education. My son's teachers found it really helpful and he did not have to go into a big explanation of what it is and how it affects him. A lot of his teachers really appreciated and came to him and asked him what they could do to make things easier like having a seat near the door, etc.
I'm glad you are finding some support here and hopefully not feeling so alone and embarrassed.

 

[Stephen]

I was diagnosed at the age of 18, right in the prime of my high school years. I missed a lot of school because of it, and wasn't able to do the things I once was able to do. Even though your friends may not understand what you're going through right now, just know that there are people that know exactly what you're going through and are there to support you! Trust me I know. I went through the exact same thing!

I'm 18 and in a similar situation. I missed 4 and 1/2 weeks total. Worried about my graduation requirements :/

 

[araceli]

Hi everyone! my name is Hannah. I am only 15 years old and newly diagnosed with Crohn's disease.Not being able to do all the things that I used to, I'm having a pretty hard time dealing with it. My friends don't understand why it's hard for me to do everything that they do no matter how much I try to open up to them. This is my first year of high school and even though I try not to let Crohn's disease stop me, I can't help but feel like I'm missing out. I have terrible stomach pain and some days I can't even get out of bed, needless to say I'm not exactly up to doing everything that I used to do with no problem. I've always been for lack of a better term "popular" and I'm starting to lose my friends and spend most of my time at home. Things just haven't been going the best for me lately. I was just wondering if there was anyone out there who could relate to how I'm feeling or offer any advice.
P.S thank-you for your time & replies would be great

Hi Hannah.
Sorry you have to go thru all this. My daughter was diagnose when she was 14. She is 16 now. There is a teen forum you may try. Also if you would like, she can communicate via e-mail with you. let me know if you want her e-mail. best wishes.

 

[kit_kat_411]

Hi Hannh! I'm 16 but I was diagnosed whm I was 14, so I can probably relate to you a little more than some of the adults on the forum. When I was first being diagnosed, I literally had no social life. It was basically sleep bathroom pain in an endless cycle. BUT when I was diagnosed (in only about two months luckily considering I dropped 30 lbs in those two months), life became a little easier. Then a few months after, I was put on Remicade. It's an intravenous medicine and for me it works wonders. However, I have a 'mild' case, so I can't tell how it would work for you. So all I can say is: hang in there. Explain to your friends, have your mom email your teachers (they're very understanding when they know something is going on), talk to your gastroenterologist, and hold on. remission will come and your life will be back in your own hands. I don't know if there is a way to message someone on here, but if there is, feel free to message me. Hope you get better!