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farm

farm

Captain Insaneo
Joined
Jun 17, 2009
Messages
6,375
Ris took rum from the hutch
Soon her stomach she did clutch
She yelled "No more"
Passed out on the floor
One and Done had much too much.

I'll be reading this.


Post your own homemade!
 
Jilly headed east
Where men had no teeth
She was taken aback
When she learned the fact
That these men married sheep
 
Shantel loved her cats
Some say nothing is wrong with that
When she got 28
It wasn't so great
For the small population of rats.
 
Farm was really a wreck
He went out the back for a sec
We asked what for
He said close the door
I just peed off of your deck
 
Sandman was wearing a frown
He seemed to be so down
When asked why
He almost cried
I want to join up as a clown.
 
Limericks, bout as fun as writing Haiku. :D

Toilet occupied
Guts gurgle with urgency
My pants are soiled

Or, since this is a Limerick thread

I once knew a guy named Roddy
Who urgently needed a potty
The ashcan he found
seemed structurally sound
But the bottom was a little too shoddy

Sooooo,

In walked another man, Stu
Who stepped in the puddle of poo
He slipped and he fell
Midst a horrible smell
And quick for the door Roddy flew.
 
Turtle showed us her bust
Which caused some of us lust
We had to guess
Which breasts were best
So we all picked the white nurse with trust.
 
farm said:
Jilly headed east
Where men had no teeth
She was taken aback
When she learned the fact
That these men married sheep
Click to expand...

Bhaaaa.....thanks Farmy :)
 
Santos61198 said:
"Married" sheep, Farm? I'm guessing it's because we're not in The Lounge... hee hee hee...
Click to expand...

Maybe he was just trying to not insult me?!? :ylol2: Yeah friggin' right!!!!
 
Man stop acting so smarmy
Sandman replied to Farmy
Do I look like a tool
I'm not playing the fool
I'm not a clown, I'm a CARNIE

SPIN THE WHEEL! MAKE A DEAL! EVERYONE'S A WINNER!:mario2:
 
Sandman11 said:
Man stop acting so smarmy
Sandman replied to Farmy
Do I look like a tool
I'm not playing the fool
I'm not a clown, I'm a CARNIE

SPIN THE WHEEL! MAKE A DEAL! EVERYONE'S A WINNER!:mario2:
Click to expand...
HA LMAO that's funny!!
 
Sandman11 said:
Man stop acting so smarmy
Sandman replied to Farmy
Do I look like a tool
I'm not playing the fool
I'm not a clown, I'm a CARNIE

SPIN THE WHEEL! MAKE A DEAL! EVERYONE'S A WINNER!:mario2:
Click to expand...
:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:
 
So sandman works the fair
And thus he bleached his hair
A carnie's job
Is to rob
Step right up and try to win my teddy bear!
 
Stepping right up was our girl we call Jilly,
She laughed cuz the game was so silly.
"Raise your ass to the crowd,
and just fart very loud"
Which she did making Farm cry "Whoa Nellie!"

-- It's story time in limericks...
 
Fen straight from the slammer
Drew back a mighty hammer
He must ring the bell
Or be embarrassed as hell
It hit and rang with a clammer!!
 
Ris aimed her dart
Before flight she cut a fart
The balloon did pop
But she needed a mop
Her fart was really a shart!
 
Kello wearing three wolves and a moon,
Threw darts at a giant balloon.
She wanted to win,
Lots of cash in the bin,
To buy Mark a plane ticket by noon.
 
Misscriss was face down in a bin
Trying to grab apples with her grin
but they wandered about
and something slipped out
Exposing a prize just for Fen!!
 
Fen grinned and then glanced at Shantel,
Who was drunk and looking like hell.
While she was in yoga,
Farm shouted "Toga Toga"
And the rest..well it's too funny to tell.
 
Oh man that was great, ok

Shantel ate hotdogs and fry's
Then shamelessly got on a ride
It went up and down
Moving her all around
She puked and we almost died!
 
Ha!

Shaz and the Aussies and Brits,
Well, they wanted to try Farmie's grits.
He made a large pot,
And they all at a lot.
Look out cuz they now have the shits.
 
LOL

Now no one could understand
The language of Farm's land
They all said What?
He sure talks a lot
But it's slow, drawn, and bland.
 
He stutters and speaks just like Kawl,
A long and slow kind of drawl.
But he hunts like an ace,
Moving through woods with apace,
And, man, you should hear his turkey call.

(my coffee must be an irish coffee).
 
Ah fen you rock!

Sandman pulls for the Yankees
To me that screams "Spank me"
But he's a true fan
Doing all that he can
To avoid staying so cranky!
 
Last edited:
Benson works out all the time
With Arnold at the back of his mind
Doing 10 sets a day
Eating protein and whey
Hoping his guts do not start to bind.
 
Pull for the Yanks? No way. More like this...

The Sox are Fen's favorite team,
He loves them more than butt cream.
They played very hard,
and won the Wild Card.
Gonna beat Ris and Jilly so it seems.
 
Mark is what folks call a Cajun'
When his Crohns flares up he's a ragin'
Thanks to Fen, his wingman
And the Irish guy Dan,
He and Kell will hook up we're all wagin'
 
"We'll win the World Series," said Fen
(He forgot he was playing pretend)
Get your head out yer arse
Cause it's all just a farse
WE'LL be the champs in the end! ;)
 
Santos61198 said:
"We'll win the World Series," said Fen
(He forgot he was playing pretend)
Get your head out yer arse
Cause it's all just a farse
WE'LL be the champs in the end! ;)
Click to expand...
Go RIS!!!
 
For Farm

Ed Earl didn't know what to say
When a guy said Chesney was gay
So he took his temp
In a murder attempt
So Ed had has the boyfriend these days
 
Sandman11 said:
For Farm

Ed Earl didn't know what to say
When a guy said Chesney was gay
So he took his temp
In a murder attempt
So Ed had has the boyfriend these days
Click to expand...
Bwhahahah!!!!!

Oh he's so gonna kill you! um hum
 
For Fenway

Big papi the red sox adored
But his skills were bought from a store
Big papi then lied
While the nation still cried
Our cheaters are better than yours
 
Ris is a Yanks fan from Mass,
which makes her, of course, a dumbass.
Though their star is D. Jeter,
A-rod is just a peter.
It's the Sox that's the team that has class.
 
Ed Earl put the pedal to the floor
He drove through a liquor store
Al said what's the fuss?
Till they surround us
Let's just drink more and more.
 
Misspopcorn she lived in Nevada,
Is it true she loves Eric Estrada?
i don't know but she's keen
on using calmoseptine
after drinking a pina colada.
 
Calmoseptine arrived in the mail
Man that was funny as hell
But once applied
I felt that I had died
And went to Heaven with a menthol smell!
 
fenway1971 said:
Misspopcorn she lived in Nevada,
Is it true she loves Eric Estrada?
i don't know but she's keen
on using calmoseptine
after drinking a pina colada.
Click to expand...
:ylol2: :ylol2:
:lol2: Thankyou!! Very nice. I use to have a crush on ol' Estrada when he was on CHIPS...
 
Farm and Fenway are way too clever.
Those two, miss a beat?
Never!
That is why we all flock to their feet
for their fantastic word treats.
 
You forgot the last part of that.

Farm and Fenway are way too clever.
Those two, miss a beat? Never!
That is why we all flock to their feet
for their fantastic word treats.
That wasn't quite a limerick, but whatever. ;) ;)

Course, then that woulda made it a limerick.......AAAGGHH it's a paradox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
DanSJVDavis said:
You forgot the last part of that.

Farm and Fenway are way too clever.
Those two, miss a beat? Never!
That is why we all flock to their feet
for their fantastic word treats.
That wasn't quite a limerick, but whatever. ;) ;)

Course, then that woulda made it a limerick.......AAAGGHH it's a paradox!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...
I know, I suck! I went back and editted it so Never! is it's own sentence. I'M always one sandwich short of a picnic.
 
Dan is a pirate who writes,
About romance between aliens in tights,
it's really good stuff
if you're a science fiction buff
soon he'll publish and see his name in lights.
 
Shantel worried with genes
Quickly began to scheme
When nothing came out
She started to shout
HOW CAN I HANG WITH THIS SCENE!!
 
farm said:
Shantel worried with genes
Quickly began to scheme
When nothing came out
She started to shout
HOW CAN I HANG WITH THIS SCENE!!
Click to expand...
WE'RE not worthy oh great and powerful limerick writer:sign0085:
 
Misspopcorn stuck in the 'game'
Heard of a limerick with her name
She searched all about
And finally found out
It was in the limerick thread, full of fame!
 
Farmie and Fen the dream team,
Writin' limericks to make their friends beam.
Their friendship started,
When Farm, he sharted
And Fen sent him a tube of butt cream.
 
There once was a guy from North Caroliney
Sometimes he could be a bit whiny
He sat on the throne
And let out a big groan
Then he wiped his hiney


Am I learning???
 
fenway1971 said:
Farmie and Fen the dream team,
Writin' limericks to make their friends beam.
Their friendship started,
When Farm, he sharted
And Fen sent him a tube of butt cream.
Click to expand...
OMG!!!!!!!!!!
 
imisspopcorn said:
There once was a guy from North Caroliney
Sometimes he could be a bit whiny
He sat on the throne
And let out a big groan
Then he wiped his hiney


Am I learning???
Click to expand...
Much better!
 
Fen knows just how
To embarrass his old pal
But Farm has to say
By gawd we ain't that way
Not the past, future, nor now!
 
farm said:
Fen knows just how
To embarrass his old pal
But Farm has to say
By gawd we ain't that way
Not the past, future, nor now!
Click to expand...

I just spit up my coffee. That's funny.
 
Farm's words are like a parade
fueled by moonshine, Homemade!
Beneath all the grit
The guy has a gift
Like a poetic Karl Childers from sling blade.................Um Hmm
 
Sandman11 said:
Farm's words are like a parade
fueled by moonshine, Homemade!
Beneath all the grit
The guy has a gift
Like a poetic Karl Childers from sling blade.................Um Hmm
Click to expand...
ROTFLMAO!!!!!! Tha's right
 
farm said:
Much better!
Click to expand...
Fen, the Brooklyn man
Oh, there's no better fan
He worshipped the Red Sockies
And became somewhat cocky
Until an angry Yank threw a beer can.
 
imisspopcorn said:
Fen, the Brooklyn man
Oh, there's no better fan
He worshipped the Red Sockies
And became somewhat cocky
Until an angry Yank threw a beer can.
Click to expand...
Nailed it!!! Bwhahaha
 
misspopcorn wondered why
Then thought it must be the Y
Then said "That's Right"
He dranks everynight
It must be the homemade moonshine.
 
farm said:
Fen knows just how
To embarrass his old pal
But Farm has to say
By gawd we ain't that way
Not the past, future, nor now!
Click to expand...

Farm and Fen went to the movies.
They thought it would be groovy.
They paid for the show.
And watched the screen glow
Broke Back Mountain OH NO!!
 
imisspopcorn said:
Farm and Fen went to the movies.
They thought it would be groovy.
They paid for the show.
And watched the screen glow
Broke Back Mountain OH NO!!
Click to expand...
See now ya done went too fer!
 
farm said:
See now ya done went too fer!
Click to expand...
PART 2

They sat in horror at the show
Farm asked "They're Beau's?"
Fen said "Who knows"
Outta there they tip toed
Now where do they go?

Better??? :sorry:
 
We drink beer and we chase after girls,
Love their boobs and their hair full of curls.
Make no mistake,
We aren't gay, we are straight,
Just a pair of moonshine drinking churls.
 
fenway1971 said:
We drink beer and we chase after girls,
Love their boobs and their hair full of curls.
Make no mistake,
We aren't gay, we are straight,
Just a pair of moonshine drinking churls.
Click to expand...


Just don't hurl
I didn't mean to make your toes curl
You guys are too funny
You make my days sunny
I won't make anymore gay punnys


I had to fix that because I got poor old Milton Burl mixed up with Paul Lynd.
 
Last edited:
We're manly men about
Let there be no doubt
Not a lady is safe
Around anyplace
That falls upon our route!
 
Here I R!!!!!

Shantel was feeling down
We could not let her frown
Fen pinched her butt
But that was too much
So Fen is still on the ground
 
farm said:
Here I R!!!!!

Shantel was feeling down
We could not let her frown
Fen pinched her butt
But that was too much
So Fen is still on the ground
Click to expand...

Shantel's bum may be numb
but she's not dumb
She knew who did the pinch
She gave Farm the thumb
and punched him in the gums
 
kskitt said:
ok my name is kay. Live in Kent. Have just had surgery and got really bad D atm.
Click to expand...
Kay who we call skitt
Had a bad case of the chits
She had an operation
In another nation
To get the major D to quit!
 
In Kent was a lady named Kay,
who had surgery so the docs say.
she's feeling quite blue,
with her watery poo,
hope this limerick brightens her day.
 
Beth stole some honey from Pooh,
it pissed off everyone except Roo.
She smiled with glee,
as she put it in her tea,
until crohn's made her run to the loo.
 
farm said:
Kay who we call skitt
Had a bad case of the chits
She had an operation
In another nation
To get the major D to quit!
Click to expand...
You are truly gifted Karl. I am in awe
 
fenway1971 said:
Beth stole some honey from Pooh,
it pissed off everyone except Roo.
She smiled with glee,
as she put it in her tea,
until crohn's made her run to the loo.
Click to expand...


Love it!!! I think it's the best because you know the characters names!!
 
fenway1971 said:
Beth stole some honey from Pooh,
it pissed off everyone except Roo.
She smiled with glee,
as she put it in her tea,
until crohn's made her run to the loo.
Click to expand...


Kewl! :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:
 
Farm almost had to faint
I tried to make it, but can't
He said while in pain
The burning's insane
Then he farted and melted the paint!
 
All day yesterday I thought about limericks. I even had a dream. Keeps my little brain busy....
 
There was a man from Nantucket..........ur

There was a man from the farm
Who woefully cut off his arm
He still went to games
But wasn't quite the same
He couldn't clap with quite the same charm.
 
There was a woman from Vegas
She went on the forum pages
Wow this place is cool
And, there is a lot of drool
Now I need to go earn my wages
 

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