Limericks to choose from

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Misspop is a girl full of sass,
who makes fun of us boys with bad gas.
If you haven't seen her,
she's the one shouting "Weiner!"
she's funny that las Vegas lass.
 
fenway1971 said:
Misspop is a girl full of sass,
who makes fun of us boys with bad gas.
If you haven't seen her,
she's the one shouting "Weiner!"
she's funny that las Vegas lass.
Click to expand...
My friend Fen
Where have you been?
Your limericks make me smile
Stick around for awhile
Your pen's a perfect ten
 
I looked wiener up in the dictionary
Me spell bad?
Nah, my grammer's just as sad.
Thankfully spell check isn't a fad.
Just happy it wasn't a pictionary.
 
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Santos61198 said:
I am never gonna live that one down...
Click to expand...

No you won't "actually" (that is our favorite word at school this week), not while Peaches & I are around ;)
 
Shantel said:
I love when little kids get stuck on a word...and it is trippy when they use them correctly - especially the curse words :O) My little one could do that very well - just drop it right there in the middle of dinner with the correct inflection and context and everything!
Click to expand...

Today we were putting our jackets on to go outside & I was putting one of my girls sweaters on before her jacket & she kept saying over & over again "Actually, this is my sweater, not my jacket"

I said, "I know cutie, I got it, go line up" ;)
 
Peaches thought she could rhyme
But her placement was out of time
She tried so hard
We gave her a wild card
So she wouldn't go out of her mind
 
Shantel said:
Peaches thinks Farm is a hooligan
for thinking she is in need of a mulligan
so that she won't have to mess with him again
she decided to send him to Afghanistan!
Click to expand...
close
the 1st and 2nd line rhyme
the 3rd and 4th line rhyme
then the 5th line rhymes with the 1st and 2nd line.
 
None of the ladies knew
That limericks actually had rules
They tried their best
But it was a mess
Perhaps now they'll be cool!
 
Shantel said:
Lordie...here goes....

Farm is one cool dude
Even when he is in a bad mood
He rocks it with a limerick
Although they are quite slapstick
Even the ones that are lewd!
Click to expand...
better....
 
Shantel, we have nicknamed her Peaches,
Lives down south somewhere by the beaches.
She's trying to rhyme,
And will get it in time.
Until then, Farm will be laughing in stitches.
 
Shantel told me to go bust a nut,
My only reaction was "What???"
The ladies all giggled,
And their boobies all jiggled,
Farm then laughed and fell on his butt.
 
:emot-dance: :ylol2::emot-dance: :ylol::emot-dance: :ylol2::emot-dance::ylol::emot-dance: :ylol2::emot-dance: :ylol::emot-dance::ylol2::emot-dance::ylol: :emot-dance::ylol2::emot-dance::ylol:
 
fenway1971 said:
Shantel told me to go bust a nut,
My only reaction was "What???"
The ladies all giggled,
And their boobies all jiggled,
Farm then laughed and fell on his butt.
Click to expand...

Farm likes em boobies
Real, Fake, and in movies
big or small
Farm likes em all
Hasn't meet one yet that wasn't groovy!
 
Shantel said:
I plead the 5th.....probably the same as up there...my brain just got tangled. I blame in on the extra exertion from trying to get it to rhyme! I guess the energetic output would be the same and he might enjoy it better than P90X? Doh! I'm blushing....can you tell ? LOL!!
Click to expand...

I'm glad another girlie is throwing her hat into the limerick writing arena
 
Heh! Well, maybe you noticed his writing was a little agitated and you thought he could use a little happy time alone. heh!
 
Shantel said:
OMGoodness...I'm not supposed to be on here today. It took me like a whole 20 seconds to put together that you were talking about IMP AND her hot dog. I was sooo confused. It is getting to be like a train wreck and I just don't want to see where I come completely off the tracks!!!!

Well apparently me knowing the rules Dan does not circumvent me putting my proverbial foot in my mouth with Fen and his nut.
Click to expand...
He has but one??? WTH?
 
HA! Great lil smokie!!!


This thread has gone of topic
There's nothing I can do to stop it
But make little rhymes
Just killing time
Teaching the forum to rock it!
 
I agree and will take it to heart,
Not to talk about my private parts,
But set the record straight,
I've got 2, not 1 or 8,
Let's get back to rhymin' bout farts.
 
Yeah its my fault this thread started to wander.
I'll do my part.
And go back to the start.
But you must ponder,
I'm a blonde, is it any wonder?

:sorry:
 
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Shantel said:
Alright Smokie - you are sounding like me first thing this morning! Here are the "rules" let's see what you can do?
Click to expand...
Psst...go back and check the boys to see if they always follow the rules!!

Yeah, it's my fault this thread started to wander
I'm a blonde, is it any wonder?
I'll do my part
And go back to the start
I'll try not to make another blunder
 
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imisspopcorn said:
Psst...go back and check the boys to see if they always follow the rules!!

Yeah, it's my fault this thread started to wander
I'm a blonde, is it any wonder?
I'll do my part
And go back to the start
I'll try not to make another blunder
Click to expand...
Me and Fen always follow the rules!!
 
Shantel said:
*Excellent Form* A+ (you can get one from me, as Farm is a hard ass at passing them out!)
Click to expand...

We need to stick together....We're not getting any slack from them boys!!
 
Shantel said:
The boys think that they are just genius
When Smokie and Peaches say they are just full of meanness
I know we are smart
We know how to do our art
We are artfully full of keenness
Click to expand...



A+++++++++++++++I think You shal be called Princess Peaches!!
 
There were two girls who didn't appreciate the rules
They aren't fools
They knew those rules were made for breaking
So stop all the belly aching
Thankfully they're outta school.
 
Pop and Peaches versus Farm and Fen
Who's the best? Now c'mon again
We rhyme the best
Ain't no contest.
Top prize must go to the men!
 
Shantel said:
What's this...I'm feeling minty and clean
I'm smiling as big as a fiend
A breath of fresh air
On my booty so fair (yeah right!)
You know it can only be CALMOSEPTINE!!


Seriously...I just used it for the first time and WOW! I don't know what I ate..but I've been sick all day. What a nice....refreshing feeling! Ahhh, my calmoseptine!
Click to expand...

Good one!
 
This was for a friend of mine who had to go to Australia on her birthday (15th Sept) without her boyfriend.

Once was a girl called Meredith
whose birthday was on the 10th and the 5th
sadily she had to go, with no Adrian in tow
to a country where sheep shaggin's a myth

farm said:
Jilly headed east
Where men had no teeth
She was taken aback
When she learned the fact
That these men married sheep
Click to expand...
 
Shantel said:
Top prize must go to the men?
You better think again!
Pop and Peaches do it right
We bring the limericks day and night
Pop and Peaches BRING IT and that is THE END!
Click to expand...


You got that right!
This ain't no fair fight
We're the best limerick team
watch us beam:)
Let's tuck the boy's in and say night!

(Hey maybe we can do raps??? we sure can talk some sh*t)
 
The girls' rhymes just make me gag,
maybe they're still on the rag? (ouch)
Fen and farm,
so full of charm,
the boys have got this in the bag.
 
Try as they may
The girls limericks are gay
They are not thought out
Can't follow the route
Maybe they'll get better one day.

Fen and Farm, the team to beat
So far you've all failed to meet
Our smallest expectation
Which causes you tribulation
So just go back to your seat.
 
We are the kings of this game,
the ladies try but they're lame.
High fives to my pal,
while we moon the gals,
we are in limerick hall of fame.
 
As Fen and Farm drink Beer
We raise our glasses and cheer
Maybe they should knit?
Take a pottery class or some chit?
To us, they'll never come near!
 
Shantel said:
You guys are on it today....I'm not in much of a limerick kinda mood so I'm going to have to demolish you on another day :O)
Click to expand...
Ha!
fail.jpg
 
Peaches is just taking her time
Trying to think up rhymes
Taking 2 days
To think of something to say
Going out of her mind!
 
Hugs to Shantel who is blue,
hope she's not locked in the loo.
Perhaps Mrs Paddle,
will step into battle,
we can outduel her too.
 
Give me some time to think
Something around here stinks
Stop picking on my limerick pal
Your not alone now gal
I'm three hours behind(wink)
 
We write these limericks with zest
It is quite a fun contest
We give the boys their props
But we aren't flops
We know we're the best.
 
Youre rhyming is weak
If it's accolades you seek
You won't find them here
This thread we commendeer
To bust up your lime's that are bleak!
 
Farm's rhymes are just mumble
Too much time with Karl and his mind's a jumble
We love you still
Don' t be such a pill
We know it's hard to be humble
 
Glad you gals got the gist
Means more limericks for the grist
It's a workout for the brain
The fun is quite insane
And now I've added another to the list

But still my favorite thing to do
Is making up haiku
Three lines of prose
Is how haiku goes
And five, seven, five syllables too
 
hehe! Yeah, the wife says the same thing cause she gets up far earlier to go to work. Honestly, if I felt good getting up earlier, I would.
 
I try to be humble like you
It's something I'll get use to
You may think my head is fat
I promise it's not that
I'm just good at all that I do!
 
I'm so glad your such a pro
To bad there's no room to grow
With a head so full of air
Your gonna need more hair
How about bushy fro?
 
Thanks but I like it slick
It seems to do the trick
It's all wash n go
(I shine it just so you know)
And all it costs is a bic!
 
Duh? Thanks

Farm's the guy who needs no brushes
He's never in any rushes
Wash and wear
That's what we hear
Bathroom time is only for flushes
 
imisspopcorn said:
Duh? Thanks

Farm's the guy who needs no brushes
He's never in any rushes
Wash and wear
That's what we hear
Bathroom time is only for flushes
Click to expand...
HA, good one.
 
Miss pop is improving her stuff,
But the rhymin' is still full of fluff.
Shaved or styled neat,
These boys got you beat,
Gotta work now, enough is enough.
 
There's a Vegas girl named Smokie,
Who's limericks aren't so hokey.
Good rhymes she can hurl,
Which ain't bad for a girl,
She spits 'em out fast, she's no pokey.
 
Oh your such a fool
Yesterday you didn't know the rules!
So don't even try
We'll make you cry
Our limericks will make your drool!
 
I am laughing too
Yet I only laugh at you
You're trying your best
But just let it rest
And let the boys do what they do.
 
Shantel said:
The rules are easily obtained
For something so inane
You won't make me cry
My eyes are rather dry
It's my laughter I'm trying to restrain!
Click to expand...


You go girl!!!
 
Let the boy's do what they do?
I say boo
We girls got the stuff.
And it ain't no fluff
All you got is what comes out of a cow,and it's not moo
 
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OH freaking please
I'm seen more skill from fleas
You use the same words
But want to go on the road?
Your limericks arn't even a tease.
 
Poor Fen, he has gotta earn a living
He's getting it as good as he's giving
At work he gets to play
while he earns his pay
I hope his boss is forgiving
 
farm said:
OH freaking please
I'm seen more skill from fleas
You use the same words
But want to go on the road?
Your limericks arn't even a tease.
Click to expand...


Okay, your not invited!!:ylol2:
 
Farm's not easy to please
Do I have to get down on my knees?
No thank you
I've got stuff to do
Where are my car keys??
 
Shantel said:
Don't make me go all grammatical on your booty with these limericks I didn't know anything about yesterday......does Words and Road *really* rhyme?
Click to expand...


I told you they don't always follow them rules!!! I'm gonna have to break out the Pinocchio limerick.
 
Shantel said:
Don't make me go all grammatical on your booty with these limericks I didn't know anything about yesterday......does Words and Road *really* rhyme?
Click to expand...
Um, yeah over here they do.
 
Butt cheeks don't fail me now
Shantel, take a bow
She's got all the rhymes
In record time
All I can say is WOW!
 
It'll take more than you two
With the weak rhyming you do
I'll never loose
Go take a cruise
Find something else, something new.
 
So are we calling a truce?
Or just tightening the noose?
I'll leave it Fen
To take the final win
Now I'll go hunt a goose.
 

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