Limericks to choose from

Crohn's Disease Forum

Help Support Crohn's Disease Forum:

Farm's a guy who is not fake
Online he met a girl who was on the make
He posted his picture
And told her all about his stricture
It was too much for her to take.
 
Shantel said:
Don't make me go all grammatical on your booty with these limericks I didn't know anything about yesterday......does Words and Road *really* rhyme?
Seen a bunch on both sides that don't quite rhyme. All good though. :)
 
imisspopcorn said:
Farm's a guy who is not fake
Online he met a girl who was on the make
He posted his picture
And told her all about his stricture
It was too much for her to take.
LMAO! OK!
 
DanSJVDavis said:
Seen a bunch on both sides that don't quite rhyme. All good though. :)

Very democratic of you Dan. Your still deciding which side you want to be on huh?
 
Shantel said:
The sides have already been drawn.....it's guys against the girls right? ummmm, we better enlist more girls!!!
Good idea.....where's Busty and Paddle when we need them.
 
imisspopcorn said:
Very democratic of you Dan. Your still deciding which side you want to be on huh?
Nope, I'm on no one's side but my own. I write therefore I am. I care not for other people's squabbles. I'm like Switzerland....or maybe one of them rebels that only fights to survive, kicking both sides from their doorstep. ;)
 
It's good that I am the boss,
Or else I'd likely get tossed
You two are spunky,
And your butts smell so funky
Did you fall in crap from a hoss?

Fen is a man in charge,
He likes to live life large.
If he had more dough,
He'd pay for us to go,
On a reunion cruise on a barge.
 
Shantel said:
Well what the heck are you doing wasting your precious time with limericks BOY....get back in there and make some dough so we can get on the barge!!!!!
Fens the captain of the barge
Can we all go free of charge?
Me funky??? (by the way, it takes one to know one)
Well I guess its better than junky.
I'm ready for cruising and livin' large
 
Shantel said:
Dern Farmie - do I not even get an A+ for that one??


He's one tough nut.....(makings of a limerick right there)

A++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++for Shantel!!
 
Shantel said:
Well what the heck are you doing wasting your precious time with limericks BOY....get back in there and make some dough so we can get on the barge!!!!!

WTF Peaches???

Where's Princess Peach????
 
fenway1971 said:
10 pages of limericks. that's scary. this thread makes me laugh though. i needed it yesterday.[/QUOT


I'm glad you feel better today....laughter is the best medicine.
 
Last edited:
have to admit that after a while, it gets tiring. but you two had me peeing my pants when I woke up this morning.
 
It smells like someone fahted,
Who's cheeks were those that pahted?
It wasn't mine,
That's a good sign,
The guilty one is wicked retahded.
 
imisspopcorn said:
Good idea.....where's Busty and Paddle when we need them.

I'm here now. Sorry I was applying for jobs and such earlier. :) And I do watch these limericks every day, they make me laugh very much. I just don't join in and do any myself. :) Keep up the good word everybody.
 
Friday is finally here
Tonight, that means beer!
Tomorrow the same
We'll win the game
The Vikings can not come near!
 
OMG!!!!!!! Glad I wasn't coaching that team, we'd go to 4 a day's for a month!!
 
fenway1971 said:
Shantel told me to go bust a nut,
My only reaction was "What???"
The ladies all giggled,
And their boobies all jiggled,
Farm then laughed and fell on his butt.


He he you said Boobies!!
 
There was a bald head name of Jerman
When younger on his head would crush beercans
The life of the party when inebriated
His wife now has him domesticated
His liver is grateful
His colon so hateful
Once lean and mean
Can now cook and clean
His wife cast a spell or a hex
"If you don't do your chore list no sex"
Once wild, now tame
a big fan of the pull my finger game.
 
Shantel said:
Alright little boys....we have boobies in sooooo many other threads - do they have to be here to?

Sorry Shantel, didn't mean 2 offend, we are just big fans. I am pretty sure that if i had my own set, I WOULD NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE! I'm just sayin.....
:allright: :allright: :allright:
 
Peaches just stated "No boobies!"
It made all the boys really moody
It then started the bidding
To see who was winning
The chance to see Shantel's goodies
 
Jerman is a fan of the Jets,
Beat the Pats so he won on his bets.
They wear green,
Their defense is mean.
But their fans wear fireman helmets?
 
Santos61198 said:
Peaches just stated "No boobies!"
It made all the boys really moody
It then started the bidding
To see who was winning
The chance to see Shantel's goodies

Nice!

Is Shantel going to flash?
Do the boys have to pay cash?
The boys of the forum,
We'll lose their decorum,
And to the booby thread they will dash!
 
Fenway feels like a tool
He can't stop wiping his drool!
But he forgot all his cash
So he'll soon make a dash
To the ATM down by the school.
 
Ris is at work and in pain,
her job is driving her insane.
But she still makes fun,
Of the boys quite a ton
Aww crap, it's starting to rain!
 
Shantel said:
NOOOO FEN STARTED IT when he put boobies in the limerick....don't you guys pay attention? Now you've made me say boobies!
Twice in one post!
 
Boobies,schmoobies... you know they rock
Some women stuff with tube socks
They're not all the same
No one's to blame
That's why bras are so hard to unlock.
 
fenway1971 said:
Jerman is a fan of the Jets,
Beat the Pats so he won on his bets.
They wear green,
Their defense is mean.
But their fans wear fireman helmets?

Well done Fen!
 
:applause:
imisspopcorn said:
Boobies,schmoobies... you know they rock
Some women stuff with tube socks
They're not all the same
No one's to blame
That's why bras are so hard to unlock.
 
Shantel said:
No Carrie - I said NO boobies - not MORE boobies!!

It so fun to say...

Farm would pay a million in rubies
Just to see some boobies
He started to fret
when he opened his wallet
Nothing in there but doobies
 
imisspopcorn said:
It so fun to say...

Farm would pay a million in rubies
Just to see some boobies
He started to fret
when he opened his wallet
Nothing in there but doobies
You have to say wallet with a drawl (no problem for me).
One MILLION rubies (Dr. Evil)
 
Pop's last rhyme is clever,
boobies? Shantel said never,
three rhymes is hard
give that girl an award,
she did it - what an endeavor!
 
Jerman was a man of great pride
With a terrible pain in his side
He felt sick and mopey
'til deflowered by a colonoscopy
so much poop that his bum felt like rawhide!
 
imisspopcorn said:
Boobies,schmoobies... you know they rock
Some women stuff with tube socks
They're not all the same
No one's to blame
That's why bras are so hard to unlock.


whoo hoo! Awesome one Miss Popcorn! Am I the only one who kept a pair of scissors in the glove box?
 
Shantel said:
With boobies you guys are obsessed
This you have already confessed
If it is boobies you want
You know we won't taunt
We will give you only THE BEST....

who wants a picture????

:bigwave: oh oh oh ... me me me ..... :bigwave: where are the goods?
 
So that means that Fens boobies look like that too? Hmm... I think I'd better avoid that workout. I like my squishy boobs instead. haha :)
 
Shantel said:
You guys have left Cris waiting a loooong time for this. She even started her own boobie thread in the lounge!!!! OK - since this isn't the lounge...and you guys KNOW me by now here they are - the BEST boobs on the forum (at present):

Benz.jpg


can you guess who they belong to??????


Three cheers for for man boobies...
 
Shantel said:
Smokie - do you recognize who they belong to? (ssshh it Cris!!)

Benson....I must say, he doesn't fit the saying" His brains are in his biceps"
Brains and a good physique...wow.
 
Farm can never sleep
Been like this for 100 weeks
Pain and thoughts don't stop
I've even head my head with a rock
So far I'm up to 1 billion sheep!
 
Oh man, I feel your pain
It is such a mental drain
How about if I recite
a sweet lullaby for a good night?
Maybe then you will feel sane.

(How about angels to watch over you??It works like a charm for my kids??)
 
:shifty-t: :blush: :blush:

Er...Well...uh...(where's the REALLY bashful smilie?)

But hey, many guys and I have a prereq. with women that they are intelligent, it's a must...bimbos, ditz's and airheads are such a turn off, and they are often shallow ...I can't relate to morons whether they're male or female...it's soooo sexy when a woman is smart and deep, intellectual and witty...all those above looks in the end! If you see a treasure chest, are you more concerned with what's in it, or how pretty it is? (ha, sometimes both men and women just want some booty though...*boooo, hiss....*)

Really, I'm blushing, I'm very self-conscious and modest, believe it or not...blushing...

:redface:

I didn't know this limerick thread got so long! This is the first I glanced at it, sorry!
 
I agree with "Buff but Bashful Benson" :ylol2: I have never been a fan of the "Barbie" type. I can't stand painted ladies with tons and tons of make up, colored contact lenses, and push up or padded bras are just plain False Advertising. :lol2: :lol2:

Seriously though I have always preferred someone with some substance, someone who would truly prefer going to the beach to watch a sunset rather than be shopping at Macy's or hanging in a club. To me it is far more precious to have someone you can share your thoughts, dreams, and even more importantly your fears and insecurities. Without even the slightest fear of ridicule.when you can really have that level of trust you are able to get through most things. However, the most important quality in a woman to me is someone that can make me laugh and laugh with me even through the worst of times. this is the gospel according to jerman.
 
Jerman said:
I agree with "Buff but Bashful Benson" :ylol2: I have never been a fan of the "Barbie" type. I can't stand painted ladies with tons and tons of make up, colored contact lenses, and push up or padded bras are just plain False Advertising. :lol2: :lol2:

Seriously though I have always preferred someone with some substance, someone who would truly prefer going to the beach to watch a sunset rather than be shopping at Macy's or hanging in a club. To me it is far more precious to have someone you can share your thoughts, dreams, and even more importantly your fears and insecurities. Without even the slightest fear of ridicule.when you can really have that level of trust you are able to get through most things. However, the most important quality in a woman to me is someone that can make me laugh and laugh with me even through the worst of times. this is the gospel according to jerman.


Amen to that gospel!
 
imisspopcorn said:
Oh man, I feel your pain
It is such a mental drain
How about if I recite
a sweet lullaby for a good night?
Maybe then you will feel sane.

(How about angels to watch over you??It works like a charm for my kids??)
I'm waiting!
 
Shantel fell on her bum,
Vicodin making her numb,
Broke two toes,
No more pantyhose
Bet she feels kinda dumb.
 
Shantel said:
Yes, but what we really want to know
is on the date did you go?
Did you stand her up?
Is she gonna think you are a butt?
Or has it been rescheduled, doh?


Yes!!!SPILL THE DETAILS....
 
You girls, you like to gossip,
Our date was a Saturday road trip.
Fri sucked ass,
Sat was a gas.
Details? I'll be tight lipped.
 
fenway1971 said:
You girls, you like to gossip,
Our date was a Saturday road trip.
Fri sucked ass,
Sat was a gas.
Details? I'll be tight lipped.
Go Fen!

So do you like her ? Are you gonna See her again?? We are living vicariously through you...:ylol2:
 
Last edited:
Fen, stop being so quiet -
Pretty soon, these 2 are gonna riot!
So open those lips
Where'd ya go on your trip?
And make sure you don't lie(it)!

Yeah, I know the last one's not a word. Sue me! :tongue:
 
North of the city we zoomed,
while storm clouds above they loomed.
Near west point,
A scenic joint,
Shopped and nice food we consumed.
 
Fen, I think they want smut
Like this girl - was she a very nice young lady? ;)
Did you 2 have fun?
Do you think she's "the one?"
Are you gonna go out again or what?
 
Santos61198 said:
Fen, I think they want smut
Like this girl - was she a very nice young lady? ;)
Did you 2 have fun?
Do you think she's "the one?"
Are you gonna go out again or what?

Hahahahahahahahaha.
 
Fen don't take that crap
Just tell em you got a dance for your lap
Then they will be fine
And get over it in time
Lie to em in one of your raps.
 
Farm is getting 2 horses
When I sold mine, remorse
An app and a paint
One you can ride, one you can't
This will be great fun of course.
 
An ode to Fen
And his new girlfriend
I bet she's fine
Just knowing Fen's mind
Let's all hope she's not pretend!

j/k
 
The women on here have filthy minds
You know it 'cause they spank each other's behinds
One is called paddle
Soon one will be saddle
You can't do nothing with that kind.
 
farm said:
The women on here have filthy minds
You know it 'cause they spank each other's behinds
One is called paddle
Soon one will be saddle
You can't do nothing with that kind.


:ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2: :ylol2:

Fen isn't the kind who likes to dish
I don't think his girl kisses like a fish
He's not playing the field
His lips are sealed
I'm sure the date was delish!
 
I am a man of class,
Choosy about my lass.
Must have smarts,
And love my farts,
Helps if she's got a nice ...
 
Woke up feeling alert,
Put on a crisp new shirt.
Just gotta say,
today's my b-day,
and I'm older than dirt.
 
For your birthday we'll place a bet
Here is the scene I'll set
We're in a bar
Thumping quarters into a jar
Hey, at least your not 40 yet!
 

Latest posts

Back
Top