- Joined
- Oct 13, 2008
- Messages
- 127
Ok. I'm moving out of my parents house come november 1st. I moved out when I was 17 and a senior in high school (this is after the chrons diagnosis) and didn't come back until my relationship/living situation fell apart. I haven't barely slept in 3 days. I've had the ***** like every damn time I get off the toilet. Should just craft myself a nice recliner toilet seat and park it for the day.
Biggest problem, this damn flare-up won't stop!! It's been weeks. I've exhausted my bag of tricks, waiting until the 12th of Nov. to see my doc. I have no insurance, about $500 bucks left and I know I'm not sick enough to go to the ER. I have an entire drawer full of drugs that ended up not working that I can't throw away because I had to pay for them. Something will work in the interm and allow me to get out of this stressfest.
Living here is like the worst thing for your nerves. I'm right under the kitchen when a bipolar mother who is mostly insane and walks like an elephant screaming profanity. About 6 this morning I heard her throw a bunch of crap down the stairs and slam the door. So I stomp up to bitch at her back, but she locked me down there. So I walk out the basement door and go in the front and we have it out. Good vent there, go try to get some sleep I say to myself. Go back downstairs. Not even 30 min later she's telling me she wants me to stay awake so I can meet this "person" that does things for her that I don't that I shouldn't talk about on the internet. She knows I don't want to deal with that kind of ****.
That's how it's been since I came back a month or so ago. If I look or act sick in any way she gets mad and wants to take me to the ER, to which I see no point and she never understands that. I know when I have to go to the ER.
But with this disease lately, I pee out my butt so damn much lately I can't get any sleep. If I take my heavy duty sleep meds I make a mess out of the bed. I'm going on now almost 48 straight hours of being awake from the sheer twisted nerve of being stuck here with a sword shoved up my ass that spits fire so hot I'm scared to even drive.
So...I'm going to put myself back on prednisone (starting with 10mg) I had to quit it when I kinda went psychotic with it, but that was at 60 mg and I went from 40 to 60 in a day and 3 days later it's no wonder that I'm calling myself by different name and whatnnot. I think I'll throw in the normal dose I took for pentasa because that seemed to kinda calm things down for a while. I also have tons of painkillers, medwise I'm fine.
Mentally, I'm going nuts. I hate being awake this long. I'm seeing ****, thinking weird, and just generally going nuts. I locked my door, eventually I'll fall asleep sometime today, my body can only go so far and right now I know it's riding on stress and anger and frustration.
Ok...done venting. Time do do the dark comedy deep breathing go to sleep routine.
Ugh it's just one of those mental moments where you want to give people a kick in the teeth for talking to you. Thank god they pass once I let it all out.
:ymad:
Jon
Biggest problem, this damn flare-up won't stop!! It's been weeks. I've exhausted my bag of tricks, waiting until the 12th of Nov. to see my doc. I have no insurance, about $500 bucks left and I know I'm not sick enough to go to the ER. I have an entire drawer full of drugs that ended up not working that I can't throw away because I had to pay for them. Something will work in the interm and allow me to get out of this stressfest.
Living here is like the worst thing for your nerves. I'm right under the kitchen when a bipolar mother who is mostly insane and walks like an elephant screaming profanity. About 6 this morning I heard her throw a bunch of crap down the stairs and slam the door. So I stomp up to bitch at her back, but she locked me down there. So I walk out the basement door and go in the front and we have it out. Good vent there, go try to get some sleep I say to myself. Go back downstairs. Not even 30 min later she's telling me she wants me to stay awake so I can meet this "person" that does things for her that I don't that I shouldn't talk about on the internet. She knows I don't want to deal with that kind of ****.
That's how it's been since I came back a month or so ago. If I look or act sick in any way she gets mad and wants to take me to the ER, to which I see no point and she never understands that. I know when I have to go to the ER.
But with this disease lately, I pee out my butt so damn much lately I can't get any sleep. If I take my heavy duty sleep meds I make a mess out of the bed. I'm going on now almost 48 straight hours of being awake from the sheer twisted nerve of being stuck here with a sword shoved up my ass that spits fire so hot I'm scared to even drive.
So...I'm going to put myself back on prednisone (starting with 10mg) I had to quit it when I kinda went psychotic with it, but that was at 60 mg and I went from 40 to 60 in a day and 3 days later it's no wonder that I'm calling myself by different name and whatnnot. I think I'll throw in the normal dose I took for pentasa because that seemed to kinda calm things down for a while. I also have tons of painkillers, medwise I'm fine.
Mentally, I'm going nuts. I hate being awake this long. I'm seeing ****, thinking weird, and just generally going nuts. I locked my door, eventually I'll fall asleep sometime today, my body can only go so far and right now I know it's riding on stress and anger and frustration.
Ok...done venting. Time do do the dark comedy deep breathing go to sleep routine.
Ugh it's just one of those mental moments where you want to give people a kick in the teeth for talking to you. Thank god they pass once I let it all out.
:ymad:
Jon
i got stressed just reading your post lol
