After Suicide

[skylardaisy]

This is not related to my Crohn's but the stress of it all is causing a worsening of symptoms. One month ago my ex husband committed suicide. He left no explanation and this has absolutely shattered my children, age 32 and 26. They are very fortunate to have good friends who have stuck by them and given lots of support and I am very grateful for this. However, I am finding that my own so called friends are staying away in droves. They were very concerned at first but have now disappeared. It's true that we weren't married anymore but that doesn't mean that I'm not very upset about all of it and especially about how it's affecting my kids.
It reminds me of the time 11 years ago when I was hospitalized for major depression. Again, nobody came. But when I was in hospital with a bowel obstruction one year later everyone came to see me. It just goes to show that there is a terrible stigma surrounding suicide, mental health problems, etc.
Just had to get this off my chest. Thanks for listening.

 

[Kev]

Someone very close to me was placed on medication for an ailment. A very rare but very real side effect (so real that it is mentioned in the disclaimers everytime they run ads for this drug) are suicidal thoughts. The prescribing doctor failed to mention this side effect... and there was almost a dreadful tragedy.

There is a stigma... but then again, there is a stigma to IBD. The only way to fight it is to stand up, be proud. Educate folks to the reality. Don't allow people who have to contend with it to become 'victims'. Rather treat them as 'survivors'. Easy to say... hard to do. But, regardless of what we... suffer from.. deal with.. we HAVE to do it. Why? Because in reality, 'we' ARE 'them'... and 'they' ARE 'us'.

 

[Johnnysmom]

I am so sorry skylardaisy. I had a very dear friend whose husband committed suicide and I know how truly complicated and confusing time it can be. She was in therapy a very long time afterwards and came to have a better understanding of what happened. Therapy was helpful for her kids too.

It was so strange to see how people reacted to a suicide. I think most people don't really know what to say or do. I know her greatest help was once she was connected to someone who had been through something similar. I hope you and your kids can find some support.

I hope sometime in the very near future we can get rid of the stigma attached to mental illness and suicide. ((((Hugs)))) and I am sorry you are hurting.:ghug:

 

[UnXmas]

I'm so sorry. I think there are some things people just don't understand, often because there is no "right" way to behave, no "right" thing to do. People stay away because they don't know what to do - they can't make the situation better, they worry about saying the wrong thing.

You may want to check out this forum: http://forum.forsuicidesurvivors.com/

There will be people there who understand what you're going through.

 

[skylardaisy]

Thank you to everyone for your kind, encouraging words. It's good to know that there are caring people out there. I will definitely check out the forum for suicide survivors. I have been suggesting to my kids that we all go for some counselling. So far, they are not in favour of the idea but I'm going to keep trying. Thanks again.

 

[scottsma]

I love this forum.No matter what the problem is,be it physical or mental or anything else,people will offer love and support.I often have a little cry for the pain people have to bear,but also for the unconditional support and kindness you all offer at one time or another.Thankyou everyone.May tomorrow be a better day than today,for you all.