Annoying things friends say

[nogutsnoglory]

I was out with some friends last night which was really great but some of the things people say annoy me.

One friend told me my diarrhea is psychosomatic and definitely psychological. I asked her if all my heavy duty meds and surgeries were also in my head. I got scars to prove it! Maybe I'll just lift up my shirt next time she says something like that or invite her to an infusion lol.

After leaving first because I wanted to avoid a major fatigue crash, I said sorry for going and one of my friends blurted out its ok "you are sick" really loud. I mean, it's true and she didn't mean any harm but I just felt very inadequate because this was my time to go out and enjoy and try to leave the sickeness that consumes my mind 24/7 behind for a minute.

 

[DJW]

Oh...lift the shirt. :ylol2:

It too bad these things are said. I know its a treat to get out...get away from the disease not be reminded of it.

 

[nogutsnoglory]

Maybe I'll show an ostomy bag and ask if that is also psychological lol.

 

[DJW]

Yes!

 

[Kero]

Some people just don't get it Sorry to hear you had to deal with that.

 

[Cat-a-Tonic]

Ugh, I hate that victim-blaming stuff. I'm so sorry you had to hear that from a supposed "friend", NGNG. My brother did something similar to me - he used to listen to a lot of self-help books on tape and I think he misinterpreted them. He would tell me things like, I just don't have enough "autonomy and mastery" (two of his favorite nonsensical self-help buzzwords) over my illness. If I just had autonomy and mastery over my guts then I wouldn't be sick, according to him. Just another way of saying, it's your own fault and you don't want to get better so you stay sick. Gee, thanks. People like your friend and my brother, they have NO IDEA about what goes on when you have a chronic illness and they seem to think that you can wish/pray/think it away - and if you can't then obviously the problem is you. It's not only totally wrong, it's also insulting to boot. I don't have much of an answer or a snarky comeback to what your friend said (I do like the idea of you showing then your scars & stoma though!) but I can definitely relate.

 

[nogutsnoglory]

Ugh cat I can totally relate to the new agey well wishing stuff. I'm all for positive thinking but "the secret" may be the biggest enemy for those of us with illness. We have prayed, wished and hopped to change things but it's sadly not that easy. Maybe we should ask them to try the reverse and ask them to see if they can control their body to create diarrhea LOL!