Bad moods when sick

[Jer's Girl]

Ugh. I just had a major melt down with my sister (completely unfair and my fault). I was just on edge because I have been sick and it has been messing with my life, and I was taking it out on her.

THEN, I called my husband and cried to him about not feeling good and ruined his day when there is absolutely nothing he can do to help.

Then there are other times where I am just a wet blanket, or mess up plans because of my disease.

Still others when I try to explain that even though I wouldn't mind sitting in a movie, I don't feel up to going out to a club, which makes no sense to anyone but me.

I am frustrated that I am letting my disease get me down and make me feel helpless. I am mad at my body, and mad at how I am dealing (or not dealing) with my anger and frustration.

Anyone else ever felt like you were a total burden and just too dang grumpy to be around because of this disease?

 

[xoxava]

Aw I'm so sorry you're feeling down. It's certainly never easy. I know exactly how you feel. When I'm flaring bad I'm the same way. I always whine to my fiance when something goes wrong then he feels bad because of course there's nothing he can do to make it better. When I was first dx I never wanted to go anywhere. Now I'm comfortable going to a movie but id never survive a club! No one understood me either and I found out who my "real" friends were. I think the disease is just emotional and can take its toll on you, not necessarily your fault. As hard as it is, no one will ever understand unless they go through it. I always apologize for my bad moods but I can't really control when ill get emotional. I hope things look up for you soon!

 

[Jer's Girl]

Thanks for writing XOXAVA! It is nice to know I am not alone. Especially about being able to do some things but not others. That is the hardest to make people understand.

I have pretty much whittled my friend base down over the years to just the really great people (quality over quantity!), and I know they try to understand, but it is just impossible to really completely know what another person goes through, and for someone who has never been sick, it is pretty difficult for them to imagine. Especially when I don't look or really act sick!

I bet a lot of us can identify with this, and we should all learn to cut ourselves a bit of slack. Easier said than done of course!

Thanks again for your post. It really helps.

 

[Nataliekim]

All my DH had to do was come home and look at the expression on my face. He knew I wasn't in the mood for anything. I didn't cook, clean, take care of the kids, forget it all. I just laid on the couch, grumpy. I can't even imagine trying to go to a club. That takes way to much energy. Honestly, don't feel bad. Its not your fault. This is just a painful disease to deal with. When you're not in a flare, then you can think about clubs and such. While you're in a flare just think about rest and recovery. (((HUGS)))
Nat

 

[Jer's Girl]

Thanks Nat! My husband is very understanding too, but I can understand why it is hard for others to even really know when i am really sick.

I have never been much of a club person to begin with, but I hate to always be the stick in the mud! It is just frustrating, and I hate not having more control over my body and my life.

 

[Mountaingem]

:rosette2: Hi Nicole, I hope today is better for you! My doctor said yesterday that having a flare is so stressful to the body, both mentally and physically, that it's extremely hard to control emotions.

Thought you might like to know we actually have a medical reason for being so emotional! Me, I alternate between mean and crying-which is so messed up because I've had a hysterectomy so I thought I was in the clear with PMS out of the way lol!

Keep hanging in there girl-you need to treat yourself gently-do something for yourself, maybe a scented bath or a manicure, if you feel up to it. Chocolate chip cookie dough works pretty good for me, too. Maybe have hubby bring some fresh flowers home to brighten up your room.

I feel better when I do something to remind myself that there's life outside the flare, if that makes sense. I like to watch travel DVD's-anything to take my mind away for a little bit. Hope this gives you some ideas that work for you.

Sending hugs and get well wishes!

 

[damoshk]

I totally understand. I myself have been going through the same thing. The worst part sometime is that you feel so alone because atleast I feel like no one really understands. I want to go out and have fun I want to have more energy but I just cant sometimes. It's def a hard disease to try and battle ...it can be so draining. I def throw a pity party for myself every blue moon, but then I suck it up! I want to be happy and I have alot to be thankful for and I'm not going to let this bring me down...I'm with you my friend...anytime you need to vent we're all here!

 

[Crohny]

My wife and I just had a fight about this.
I hate pretending to have a good time and being "a stick in the mud" like you said Nicole.
I'm not drinking. Everyone else is. I'd rather go home, be alone, and do something productive. Or do nothing at all if I feel tired, which I usually do.
I also hate family and friends talking about what I can/can't should/shouldn't eat all the time. It's like the disease has spread to my conversation as well. I suppose I should make an effort to start talking about other things and just ignore it?
It's so hard to stay positive when my stress and negativity are intensified and affect everyone around me.
I'm such a fun person now. Thank you Crohn's disease.

 

[Cat-a-Tonic]

I get in awful moods when I flare too. I cry at the drop of a hat when I'm flaring or when my symptoms start to get out of hand. For the first year or so of my illness, I was (still am) undiagnosed and wasn't on any meds or treatment, and I probably cried at least 6 days per week that entire year. Once I was put on Entocort, things started calming down and nowadays I probably cry a couple times per month, max. So, for me at least, if I can get my symptoms under control then I can get my emotions under control as well. Although I'm sure we all know that is sometimes much easier said than done! Good luck, I hope you get back into remission soon. It's no fun having your body and emotions do this to you.

 

[Gwen pippy]

You poor love Nicole
Just want to kick this disease's ass when I hear others having bad day.

I'm the same I go from tears to anger, my hubby even says that I get serious case of OCD to do with others washing their hands(don't want to be any sicker than I am if someone is careless).
I have had some major panic attacks and my hubby had to pull me out from under the dining room table in tears.
What really gets me going about a flare, like you is that I feel like my body is letting me down and I in turn am letting everyone else down because I can't be the life of the party, I feel bad for my children that I can't give them the attention they deserve, so I hide in the utility room with a BIG bar of chocolate till the stress passes if my mouth is full I can't say anything hehehe and I even get the laundry done!!!
I hope this flare passes soon and you get back on your feet.

Sending you big hugs.
Gwen xxx

 

[Nataliekim]

Oh, I get it! Happily we've been able to adjust our lives to be happy campers at home watching movies on net flix. And then get out when we can. Don't let other people pressure you into a life style your body will rebel against by making you ill. Its just not worth it. It takes us way to long to recover, and the pain, is just way to much. Surround yourself with people who are willing to sit at home with you and watch movies or such things. Not stressing about going out will help your tummy feel soooo much better. Its your life, do things you like, and not what other expect. Our health really depends on us taking this stand for ourselves. Besides, clubs are highly overrated! Snuggle time with DH.... PERFECT!!!

 

[Mountaingem]

My husband will notice when I'm being overly emotional, and he'll say "I think you need a nap" LOL! It's kinda code for "You're being a little crazy" because if he should suggest such a thing outright, it would be ON.

I agree with the Netflix and time at home-sometimes I just know I can't be trusted to behave myself around people.:ymad:

 

[Jer's Girl]

Yes, yes, yes. I agree with and understand all of that. Thank you all. I'm a pretty positive person, but sometimes it all gets me down.

When I was bitching at my sister yesterday, she said, "don't take it out on me because you are mad at your body." She was so right. Even though I believe that I need to cut myself some slack sometimes, I also need to remember that the people who love me are doing their best to understand and it isn't their fault i am sick any more than it is mine.

It is just so hard when Crohn's starts affecting my job and my relationships and I can't always pretend everything is okay. But at least I have all of you who have been through it too! It really helps so much to hear each of your stories!