Continue to Work?

[sgholmes2002]

First, I love this forum. My son, 15 yrs old, was diagnosed 2 weeks ago and I felt alone. Everyone just knows someone who knows someone who has Crohn's, but no one really understands. Thanks for all of your post.

Now to my question, I currently work in a preschool and teach 3 year olds. I love it, but don't really need the income. I can easily work for my husband who is self employed and get more flexibility. Reading some of your stories, I am nervous about my child's future and if my other 2 kids, 13 yrs and 11 yrs, will get it too.

I will definitely finish up this school year. I wonder if it is responsible of me workwise to continue next school year. It might be too hard on my 3 year old class IF (and it is just an if), I have to be absent due to my son's Crohn's. Again, I love my job and love the kids, but love my son more.

What are your stories regarding work? Did you quit or felt the need to quit? Am I worrying too much about the future?

 

[ronroush7]

Hi. I think your family is more important especially if you can work for your husband.

 

[Faithsg]

If I had the choice I would not or work a flexible job. I am a single mother so I have to but use my work at home day for taking my son for infusions and end up missing a lot of having a hard time at work. My son has just missed 7 weeks of school so it's been a juggle. Good luck! Go with your heart!

 

[Maya142]

I continued working, but part-time. Both my daughters have juvenile arthritis and my younger one has Crohn's and some other health issues. She has about twelve specialists and has been hospitalized many times in the last two years.

There have been years where I have worked as little as possible, but it keeps me sane. I would say, if you love it, continue with it.

It's true that you will have to take time off - for flares, for routine appointments and sometimes when he's just not feeling well. But it's possible to do and if you love working, it's worth it.

I would try (I know it's hard) not to worry too much about your younger kids. It's true that they have a greater risk of getting IBD, but plenty of siblings are perfectly healthy.

Hang in there!!

 

[pdx]

I was working part-time as a high school teacher when my daughter was diagnosed in December, and she was sick enough that I resigned at the end of the semester in January. It ended up being the right decision in our case, because she was hospitalized several times that spring and was out of school for the whole spring semester.

She was much better by summer and was back in school the following September. I decided not to go back to work though, and I'm mostly happy with that decision. I wasn't making much money, so that part hasn't mattered. I did like my job, but I enjoy not working too. And dealing with all my daughter's appointments and sick days has been so much easier because I'm not working.

I think you should use this spring to see how things go. If your son responds quickly to treatment, and it's easy for you to schedule appointments around your school day, then you will feel more confident about continuing as a teacher next year. If this spring is stressful, then it will make you feel better about resigning at the end of the year. I wouldn't worry about trying to decide now, while everything is so new.

Good luck with everything--these first few months are the hardest.

 

[my little penguin]

Ds was dx at age 7 almost 6 years ago this fall
He is 13 now.
I have worked the entire time
I work full time
I do have fmla so when things go weird I can take off for appts hospital stays etc..
Crohns takes about 1-2 years to get to the right med combo
Most flare multiple times even after dx until the right meds and dosage are figured out
Crohns wise I don't take much time off at all anymore
His other medical issues are a different story completely -once we get the right med combos for those Crohns tag alongs(juvenile spondyloarthritis and Sweets Syndrome)
Then all will be well

It can be done and helps keep me sane

 

[DanceMom]

I'm a teacher and have always worked FT. I do have FMLA, but found that my absences were hard on my students and I always felt guilty when I couldn't be at work. A year ago I left the classroom and took a district level position. I have much more flexibility now and taking time off isn't an issue. Everyone's situation is different and you have to do what works for you.

 

[Pilgrim]

I planned to go back to school when my youngest started school so that my husband could plan an earlier retirement in the coming years. Unfortunately, we live away from extended family and there is no one to fill the gaps (appointments, sick days and so on). So, we switched plans, downsized our home, and changed our expectations for the future. No regrets.

 

[Optimistic]

The replies here confirm what I've thought. Working as a mom is a personal decision that is very dependent on individual circumstances. And what is right at one time may not be the best option later.

I work full-time but am lucky to have some flexibility sometimes when and where I work. I take advantage of that as much as I can. The first year was a nightmare trying to work. Every time I had something critical at work or heaven forbid I needed to travel, he would have a drs appointment or test. Or, he would be sick. I finally took a leave when I realized how much stress it was adding. Oh and after a dr commented that my husband had been solo at one appointment which annoyed me! Now that he is stable it is going ok.

Luckily we have insurance through my husband or I might have a different story.

 

[sabrina123]

I had a really supportive work environment, but still downsized to 50% of my former role (same company) to increase flexibility as well as FLMA. I carry the insurance so need to work, but it is really a shadow of my former role(s). I have 2 kids with chronic illnesses, while they are both doing fairly well, there are enough times where there are challenges and/or dr appointments.

I think the tween/teen years can be tough enough and then add chronic illness to mix can create a tipping point at times. Also I need to make sure the other kids get enough attention who aren't ill.

Good luck with your decision.

 

[Tesscorm]

If possible, I would postpone your decision until you see how your son is doing in the coming weeks/months, especially as you love your job. I have always worked full time. However, my employers were flexible re time off and, luckily, my son's GI is 15 min walk from my office. Again, gratefully, my son responded well to treatment, so that alleviated the need to stay home with him. BUT, still appointments with GI and testing took a fair bit of time over the first couple of years. I spoke with my employer after the first few months, wanting his thoughts on the time I was taking off and how we could manage it fairly. My employer was understanding and suggested I count my 'sick days' in hours rather than days... and, if I went 'over' the allotted time, we would discuss other options. A few times, I also just used 1/2 day vacations. Our company gives only 5 sick days per year. Between the sick 'hours' and just a few vacation days, it was enough to cover apptmts. What also helped was that my husband and I coordinated it so that he took our son to all testing and I went to doctor appointments.

You didn't mention treatment... if it's remicade, keep in mind infusions are every six weeks and take 2.5-3 hours. Our clinic is open on Saturdays, so that helped us greatly.

If your son responds to treatment quickly, it'll likely be only apptmts/testing (and infusions??) that demand your time and it may be manageable if you can hold on for the first year or so... testing and follow-ups become less frequent if he remains in remission.