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Telling my tale Part 2 (high on Dilaudid)
Current mood: amused
Category: reflective Life
Its February 2, 2004 and I'm admitted to Chester County Hospital. I'm put on IV Steroids and am scared out of my mind. The doctor says "we will give this a couple days, but if you don't improve, we will have to do a colonoscopy." In the meantime the only fun I'm having is IV Dilaudid. Have you ever had IV Dilaudid? I think its like shooting up Heroin. If the nurse pushes it really fast in your IV, you get a rush from your spine and feel complete euphoria. I had never felt a feeling like that before. So I began to use the dilaudid as a crutch because it made me not care about what was going on around me and the seriousness of my illness. I lied to the nurses so I could get it every two hours by saying I was a 10 on a pain scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the worst, I'm quite the actor sometimes). On top of that I got Ativan IV for anxiety. The two together made me a junkie in the hospital. I would be reading a magazine and suddenly, fall face down. I was truly "high."
Drugs often do strange things to me, I'm strange to begin with, but after a shot of dilaudid, I wanted to call people. I have no clue why. I just wanted to call people. I'd call people up on the phone that I hadn't talked to in awhile and say "yeah, i'm in the hospital..." My father, who I generally hated throughtout my life for reasons that would take another blog or book to explain, came to visit and I actually liked him. Now for me to like my father, you know I was fucking high. He brought me a desktop computer. While I was high on Dilaudid I did some shopping. Dilaudid caused me to go online, especially to e-bay and buy buy buy. Everyday in the hospital there was a package for me. I bought this entire kit about fighting anxiety and depression for over 300.00 and when it came I had no clue that I ordered it or why the fuck I would have wanted it in the first place. It was an infomercial for Christ's sake. I bought concert tickets. I didn't even know if I'd be able to go to these concerts, but I bought them: Sara Mclaughlin, Cyndi Lauper and Joan Rivers (sorry I couldn't come to your shows...I was high in the hospital). When I was passed out from the drugs I would get phone calls and my voice got deeper. Suddenly, people were going "what the fuck is wrong with your voice?" I had no idea and I didn't even know who I was talking to in the first place. People from work would call (God bless them, they were so wonderful to me throughout all this). To this day I don't know what the hell I said to them on the phone. I may have told my boss I thought her tits were too big or something. Who knows?
That was the beginning of my "love affair" with dilaudid. It continued for another 35 days.
To be continued. Hope you all haven't been scared off yet!! This blog is humorous to me and now I can laugh about it. You can laugh too!
Copyright 2007 Christopher Carozzo (all rights reserved)
4:18 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Monday, January 15, 2007
Current mood: amused
Category: reflective Life
Its February 2, 2004 and I'm admitted to Chester County Hospital. I'm put on IV Steroids and am scared out of my mind. The doctor says "we will give this a couple days, but if you don't improve, we will have to do a colonoscopy." In the meantime the only fun I'm having is IV Dilaudid. Have you ever had IV Dilaudid? I think its like shooting up Heroin. If the nurse pushes it really fast in your IV, you get a rush from your spine and feel complete euphoria. I had never felt a feeling like that before. So I began to use the dilaudid as a crutch because it made me not care about what was going on around me and the seriousness of my illness. I lied to the nurses so I could get it every two hours by saying I was a 10 on a pain scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the worst, I'm quite the actor sometimes). On top of that I got Ativan IV for anxiety. The two together made me a junkie in the hospital. I would be reading a magazine and suddenly, fall face down. I was truly "high."
Drugs often do strange things to me, I'm strange to begin with, but after a shot of dilaudid, I wanted to call people. I have no clue why. I just wanted to call people. I'd call people up on the phone that I hadn't talked to in awhile and say "yeah, i'm in the hospital..." My father, who I generally hated throughtout my life for reasons that would take another blog or book to explain, came to visit and I actually liked him. Now for me to like my father, you know I was fucking high. He brought me a desktop computer. While I was high on Dilaudid I did some shopping. Dilaudid caused me to go online, especially to e-bay and buy buy buy. Everyday in the hospital there was a package for me. I bought this entire kit about fighting anxiety and depression for over 300.00 and when it came I had no clue that I ordered it or why the fuck I would have wanted it in the first place. It was an infomercial for Christ's sake. I bought concert tickets. I didn't even know if I'd be able to go to these concerts, but I bought them: Sara Mclaughlin, Cyndi Lauper and Joan Rivers (sorry I couldn't come to your shows...I was high in the hospital). When I was passed out from the drugs I would get phone calls and my voice got deeper. Suddenly, people were going "what the fuck is wrong with your voice?" I had no idea and I didn't even know who I was talking to in the first place. People from work would call (God bless them, they were so wonderful to me throughout all this). To this day I don't know what the hell I said to them on the phone. I may have told my boss I thought her tits were too big or something. Who knows?
That was the beginning of my "love affair" with dilaudid. It continued for another 35 days.
To be continued. Hope you all haven't been scared off yet!! This blog is humorous to me and now I can laugh about it. You can laugh too!
Copyright 2007 Christopher Carozzo (all rights reserved)
4:18 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove
Monday, January 15, 2007
