Denial

[parkinglothero]

I've been living with CD for two years. But I still struggle to acknowledge the fact I have Crohn's. Whenever anyone wants to talk about it, I weasel my way out of the conversation. And the more and more people that find out about my disease the more they want to talk about it. Thank goodness my wife is in a nursing program and she doesn't really ever bring up the subject, but all of my friends want to talk about CD both the emotional and physical. But i hate it. And if we ever go out to eat people are always telling me what I can and can't eat but im to stubborn and proud so I end up breaking my diet just to prove them wrong.. but that doesn't help the CD situation... I don't know what to do anymore. Im usually a happy go lucky person but when CD gets brought up I get upset/moody.


Did anyone go through this?

What is it going to take for me to come to grips with the fact I am living with CD?

 

[Peaches]

Well - first of all - YOU are in charge of what you put in your mouth (sorry - it hits a nerve with me when someone thinks they know what will "fix" me - we Crohnies don't even know that answer to that most of the time ourselves!). Only you can know if something is going to cause your disease to get worse or not. And this forum has taught me so much about the fact that *everyone* with this disease is different - in so many ways.

I'm sorry that you have to deal with other people wanting a Crohn's lesson from you. I have been diagnosed for 13 years and rarely get asked that question. And if I do - I just tell them it is an autoimmune disease where my body attacks itself and specifically it attacks my digestive system mainly. I tell them it can feel like having the stomach flu - only - all the time when I'm in a flare. That usually gives them enough info to hopefully want to change the subject, or I just change it for them.

As far as denial - well - I'm not sure how bad your disease has ever gotten, but for me - having to have surgery right at the beginning really didn't allow me any time to be in denial - I had done the denial thing for years and years of being sick before I finally went to the doc. I guess I'd say just try and take care of yourself and eat healthy, live like you don't have a chronic illness - BUT take good care of yourself when you are having symptoms - don't wait untreated like I did.

 

[chelli]

I am right there with you about the denial. I've been diagnosed for about 9 mos. I don't discuss this with alot of people but i still have the "I'm going to do it my way so this isn't real" attitude.

I wish you luck with the acceptance of this. It's a hard thing to accept, but after dealing with some of my other issues, I'm starting to accept it.

 

[imisspopcorn]

I lived in a semi-state of denial for many years.....Now I embrace it. Getting very ill and needing surgery taught me a lesson. Plus, being on this forum, and being around other victims took away the isolation and embarrassment. Stick around Hero...get know us better. I think it will help you like it helped me.

 

[parkinglothero]

Its nice to know im not the only one out there.

13 years. its a trip to think one day I will have had CD for 13 years...

I wouldn't mind going to see a therapist or something, but I really would only be interested in talking to a CD therapist.. if they even exist. Maybe I will just keep reading this forum.
I struggle when people try to relate to me, because they think they know what is going on.. but really they have no idea.

Does this happen to anyone else?

 

[imisspopcorn]

Not anymore...all my friends live in the computer

 

[Peaches]

Tee hee Pop - that is bad, sooo bad (even though I'm right there with ya!)

Hero - It can be difficult to relate to others when you are sick. They of course can not know how you feel since they don't have the illness - and if you are really sick with your Crohn's it can make it difficult to relate to others as well because you can feel so isolated. I have struggled at times with not even wanting to leave the house for days because I feel so crummy. Then, when my disease is quiet - you practically can't keep me IN the house. It just varies - so you'll have times in your life where things can feel relatively normal and everyone will see you as normal. Then you'll have times where you are kinda having a bad time - still able to function ok - just struggling. For me those are the hard times practically because everyone still "sees" you as being "ok" even when you really aren't. It can be rough. And when you are really sick and it is apparent that you are having a difficult time - well, I only hope you can surround yourself with supportive people who really *do* understand what you are battling with - because it can mean all the difference in the world from an emotional standpoint.

We are HERE for YOU - we do understand. Just poke around the forums and you'll see - someone here has been in your shoes more than likely and can relate.

 

[Cookie]

Ask your doctor (GI) if he can recommend a CD therapist. I think that most GIs have someone they refer people to. Mine has offered to refer me to a therapist who specializes in CD patients. I have not taken him up on the offer, but I am having one of those days when I think I just might...

Another option is to look for a support group in your area. There are special Crohn's support groups as well as general chronic illness support groups, depending on where you live.

 

[CrohnsHobo]

Personally, I have no shame. So I am pretty open about everything. Someone wants to talk CD lets talk bowel movements. Thankfully my GF is used to it (had to be to move in with me), but I openly discuss bowel movements, gas, etc.

Not going to let some poo disease dictate my life. That being said I have been living with it for half of my life. It might help to go to a support group. Meeting other crohnies helps a lot and they are generally a fun bunch. Check out your local CCFA chapter.

 

[Tan]

Ha..ha.. Im totally with you on this one CrohnsHobo... Since being diagnosed I have been open with everyone and will talk to whoever wants to hear about it... maybe I like the attention He..he.. only kidding.

I just think it has made it easier on me having all my family and friends know that I have Crohns and what the disease is, they look out for me and if Im having a **** day (excuse the pun) they notice straight away and don't bother me so to speak. If they didn't know they would either think Im a grumpy rude bitch or keep asking me whats wrong which doesn't help at all.

Plus I figure the more people know bout the disease the better!! I def not going to let this disease have control over my life and what I can and can't do and Im not going to shy away from achieving everything I possible want to just because I have been diagnosed with a cronic illness! I suppose I prefer to look at the glass half full approach rather then the negatives of it all.

 

[CrohnsHobo]

I think it also helps to tell people because they often know someone in your same situation. If not tell them about some famous people and athletes that have Crohn's. Not something anyone should be embarrassed or ashamed of. Celebrate the poo disease lol