Desperately need help reconnecting with humanity

[radspencer77]

My name is Spencer and this morning I'd just finally had it. I cant talk to people anymore because I just get angry at them. I'm angry at wasted potential, at wasted time, at people complaining about things that I consider a joke of a problem. But all of these are ruining my friendships, and I just don't know what to do anymore. I even have trouble talking to other people with crohn's because mine is quite severe. This year alone I've had 3 major surgeries and it wasn't even to do anything but stop a single infection. I just don't want to be so mad but I don't know how to forgive people for doing things that I'd never do if given half the chance.


TL;DR I'm angry at the healthy world and I don't want to be anymore.

 

[kikig]

@radspencer77 - I'm sorry to hear you've had such a rough time. I don't know what to say that won't make you angry so here goes anyway - forgive yourself, forgive your body. Its broken, no medication or surgery is really ever going to fix it.
Forgiving your body isn't easy, I struggle with it every day. But you have to, otherwise you will never be able to accept and move forward. Its not about forgiving other people.
I also suspect you are feeling helpless in your treatment - is this so? Are your questions being answered? Have the doctors tried to engage with you? Patient-Doctor is a partnership, not a master-slave relationship.

If your friends are using humour, I can think it is because they don't know what else to say.
We are all trying to support each other here, and it is hard as everybody's symtomatic presentation tends to be slightly different.

 

[UnXmas]

I feel like this a lot, but not because of Crohn's, and not just because of illness. I am finding it easier to avoid anger now than I used to though. Getting on antidepressants helped me a lot. They stopped me getting overwhelmed by negative emotions, which allowed me to see things from a different perspective. I feel sad more than angry now, which is much better.

 

[lenny]

I'm sorry you've had to suffer so much..I'm sure I'd be angry, too. But, being angry is just something else that robs us of our lives, so the quicker you can manage to not be, the better.

One thing that helps me not be so angry about my son's illness is spoiling him. I enjoy making his favorite foods and doing other things he likes. It also seems to keep him from getting very angry, so my advice would be to pamper yourself whenever you can!