Discussing illness with coworkers or not?

[crohnie2]

How to handle discussing illness w boss who doesn't care?

I discuss the details of my disease w some people but I would say its a select few. I have a very caring husband, local crohns support group I attend, I have some close friends who understand, but the professional work environments I have worked in have always been very competitive and negative (if I were to say I have illness, they would think I'm being lazy and because I "look fine"). I have told a couple coworkers of my situation, but not in great detail (and they don't understand the severity) because they get grossed out by it. I keep conversation at very high level by saying I have crohns, have had surgery, have disease where can get bowel obstructions (which I had surgery for) and have nutrient/fatigue issues, but I haven't gone into detail about how it affects me everyday.

I am wondering, how do u approach an unsympathetic boss about your disease, or do you not discuss it? I have a lot of dr appointments that I leave for (gastro, primary care, hematologist) and get sick a lot. I have told my boss I have a lot of med issues and he has said multiple times "well u look fine" and only one time he said I could leave work 15 mins early bc I "didn't look good". I also don't want the whole office to know due to the fact they will think I'm trying to get out of work

Thanks for your advice.

 

[Cross-stitch gal]

This seems to be a common question. I think that if you're healthy and not in a flare currently, I wouldn't worry too much as far as sharing it with your boss. However, if you're having to miss a lot of work because of a flare or continued doctor appointments and the subject comes up, I'd be as honest as possible.

I'm not sure what to do about an uncaring boss. I have one myself. But, I also have quite a bit of seniority and my HR knows about my stomach so my manager won't fight me if I'm needing the bathroom. What kind of place do you work? If there's someone else you could talk to if need be that could help some. Good luck. :hug:

 

[Axelfl3333]

Crohnie 2,don,t know where you come from but if it's the uk you are covered by the disability at work act and your your employer must make fair and reasonable efforts to support you.absense from work or multiple absenses should only count once also just to help it along a big company is required to be better than a smaller one

 

[MissCadenza]

I don't tend to tell people at work about my crohn's unless it comes up in conversation (usually food-related) but I have told my manager and all of the management team plus HR know what's wrong with me. And my work BFF's know too.

When I came back to work after about a month off sick with the first flare that led to diagnosis, I sent a bunch of fact sheets plus a copy of my diagnosis letter to HR and had a meeting with my manager explaining to her what I needed and that I would probably quite often be nipping out to doctor's appointments etc.

If your boss is unsympathetic, I would suggest going to your HR department with copies of your diagnosis letters or whatever you were given, because basically they overrule your boss when it comes to things like sickness absence and time off. If they have it on file that you have this illness, if your boss causes grief then you can say 'well go to HR, they have proof'.

Bombard them with medical stuff. Then they'll listen. Or if they get shirty about you taking time off for appointments or whatever, say 'ok, fine, I won't go to hospital, and then I'll get sicker, and then I won't be here at all.' They HAVE to let you have the time for appointments etc. I'm lucky, I have flexitime so I try to schedule appointments either early morning or in the evening and just adjust my working hours around that.

Good luck! Let us know what happens.