Do you feel like a lost cause?

[ashleyw]

I do. I just found out i have severe rectal inflammation and i can't get the doctors very concerned/serious face out of my mind. He kept saying over and over again "you have very severe rectal disease." It is hard for me to come to terms with it. It is also weird because I don't feel any pain or have any discomfort. I just have to strain hard to poop and i don't go very often. I can go one or two days without having a bowel movement. My doctor also said that i would need to have frequent scopes due to the risk of colon cancer. I have been thinking a lot about cancer and i feel like i am at some point in my life i will get it. I know i shouldn't be thinking negatively, but its hard. the doctor also said that disease in the rectum is difficult because you cant have a resection. So, i will either end up with a stoma unless a miracle happens and i stop having flares.

I also feel like i will never have a relationship with a man b/c of my disease. Especially if i end up with a stoma. I just find it hard to believe that a person would be able to put up with me being sick all the time. I know this post sounds really depressing, but does anyone have any thoughts to help boost my mood?

 

[Keona]

Awww...Ashley, sorry you are going through such a rough time. I am glad you are not in any physical pain/discomfort. There are several people on here who have had the same issue and they are happy today and are in relationships. Try to just stay in today and live just for today. My mother died of cancer so I use to think/worry all the time about getting it. I realized there is no proof that I will get it and medical technology has improved greatly and will continue being improved. I think the scopes are a good idea on a regular basis as it is a screening - to make sure you do not get it. Worrying about it won't make it better, in fact it will make things worse. Cd and cancer dont react well to stress.
If you do decide to go the stoma route, from what I have read from others, they havent been sick since!!
I am sure there will be other responses to this from people who have had experience with the same thing.
You are not a lost cause. There are options to make things better.
If this information is new to you, then I think it is normal to feel this way. Hang in Ashley and dont worry about your post sounding depressing. That's what we are here for.

Wendy

 

[Regular Joe]

Hi Ashley,

Each one of us with Crohn's Disease are all like small frail boats on the sea. We all have odds 10 times greater than anyone else to get colon cancer. Every one of us may end up needing surgery and a stoma.

A stoma is not the worst thing that can happen. I think it would be much more difficult to have diabetes and requiring getting a foot or leg amputated. A stoma is difficult, but it brings relief most of the time. Regarding relationships, my girlfriend has Crohn's Disease, so it is far more easier to have a relationship with someone who has the disease. But there are also many men who would be willing to learn more and understand better even if they don't have the disease.

There is a lady I know, a friend, and we've got to know each other. If I didn't have a wonderful sweetheart that thinks the world of me, that girl, who has a stoma, would be someone I'd pick on for sure. Her stoma doesn't play a part at all. She's tall, attractive with steely blue eyes and natural red hair...lord have mercy...if she had pointy ears, I'd be a goner!

 

[Guest]

hi Ashley

just to put your mind at rest on one issue at least - i have had an ileostomy for many years, and not only did it literally save my life, that surgery gave me 20 years Crohn's-free. during those years i held down full-time jobs, brought kids up (mostly as a single mum) and the stoma didn't stop me doing anything really. a couple of years ago i started a new relationship with the most wonderful guy on earth, we're engaged, getting married next year. i explained the whole Crohn's/stoma thing to him on msn, right at the very beginning of our relationship - it didn't faze him one bit - it's me he loves

i also have now have active Crohn's in the same area you do, and the same things have been said to me... my surgeon wants me to have another op, to remove that area, but has agreed to give me time to try medication first.

you're not a lost cause - you're worried and that's normal - but please don't let this worry become such a massive shadow over you. if you do have to have the surgery, not only is it not the end of the world, it could be the beginning of a better life for you.

 

[pompeybird]

I often feel like im a burden to all those around me , my partner is amazing i have to say , he has given up work in the week to help care for me and look after the kids do school runs cook dinners etc

I worry a lot about him and my kids resenting me as i resent myself most days

Some days i think its better if i wasnt here

Huge hugs as i can see where you are coming from xxxx

 

[ashleyw]

thank you guys so much for the encouragement. it helps a lot. i just hope humira will work and i can be in remission.