Doctor, doctor ! jokes

[CatLover63]

This lady walks into the doctor's practice with a sickly expression and a swollen tummy. "Doctor, please, what on earth is wrong with me ?" The doctor examines her and declares "your baby is due when ?"
The lady replies "Doctor, I'm celibate, an old maid, it's a miracle !" I knew my trip to Lourdes would change my life forever.

 

[CatLover63]

A lady walks into the doctor's practice during the pandemic. "Please stand 2 metres away and do not sit. Our toilets are for staff only.
I will fetch your urine sample." she is told at the reception desk.
Half an hour later, the poor lady is still waiting and there is a puddle on the floor.
The lady has her arm outstretched as if holding an invisible lead. "Bad dog, bad dog, what did I tell you about doing piddles on the floor ! It's lucky, I haven't fed you yet !" She
exclaims as she walks out.