Does this sound like Crohns? Possible Anxiety

[chris1290]

Hi all,

Hopefully i have posted this in the right place?
Basically i suffer with severe health anxiety and have had all manner of tests for different things over the years. I am currently in CBT therapy and it has helped a lot but one thing it can't undo is long standing concerns.
About 4/5 years ago i took Orlistat to help with weight loss but after reading about it's links to bowel cancer i went into a panic thinking i had it. I went to see 4 different Dr's with my symptoms (which were basically soft stools on a morning) and they dismissed it as anxiety. However, i pursued a GI specialist and exaggerated my symptoms (wrong i know but i was in blind panic) Anyway, i told him i had 8+ stools per day, weight loss, blood and pain. He did a colonoscopy and saw mild inflammation and a few apthous ulcers in the terminal iluem. Everything else was normal. He said at that point probable Crohns. The biopsies just came back as benign inflammation and my blood tests inclding CRP levels were are completely normal. After that i went for a follow up about a month later but was feeling much better and as such he suggested staying off any treatment and reviewing in a year. That was 4 years ago and i have been fine since. However, recently i had a bout of diarrhea after drinking. Since then i have been worried sick thinking back to the inflammation. It has been on and off over the past couple of months going from normal, to a bit constipated, to loose stools. It is pretty much exclusive to within 1/2 hour of waking and i tend to go 1-2 times and that is it for the rest of the day. I do wake up with it on mind mind every morning as in it's the first thing i think about when i open my eyes. I have no pain, no weight loss, no blood no anything really. I generally feel perfectly fine in myself - play football etc. I am just extremeley scared that this is Crohn's purely because of the colonoscopy from 4 years ago. I am certain that if a never had that test Crohns wouldn't cross my mind as i don't really have any of the symptoms listed aside from loose stools on a morning. For what it's worth my partner is adamant it is anxiety. I just can't tell the difference between the two....Please help - i'm at a point where my whole life is being affected and feel like i could loose my relationship because of the strain this is causing. Thank you all.

 

[Guerrero]

Hi chris,

I'd suggest you to do another colonscoy or mri to follow up with the inflammation they found out 4 years ago. Did you retest it one year later as they suggested?
Seems you have more anxiety coming from the fact you dont know your condition. I'd not make any conclusion from your symptoms as it could be either anxiety, things you eat, ibs, or mild crohn's symptoms...

Once you'll know what you have you will handle it and anxiety will ease as you'll go back to normal life. In case it's crohn's it seems it has been mild so far so probably manageable through a treatment and doing regular follow up so no reason to worry that much.
Also you can find support here.

 

[chris1290]

Hi,
Thanks for taking the time to reply. I know for sure anxiety makes things worse. For example, if i am on holiday or sleep in a little late any change to routine things don't seem as bad. I mean, when i finish work and relax at home in front of the TV i seem to be perfectly fine. Everything seems centred around first thing/1 hour after waking when my anxiety also seems highest.
The follow up wasn't for a retest it was just a routine follow up consultation but it never came through and as i was feeling fine i didn't chase it up.
I do think the anxiety stems from not knowing but i'm also scared to find out. I read all these stories about how difficult life is with Crohns and it scares the life out of me.
I'm absolutely terrified now to the point where i have just stopped doing things and just want to sleep/be on my own. I feel like my partner is ready to leave me as she just thinks it's anxiety. I'm also not being the father to my 2 year old son that i want to be. The fear of having such a terrible ilness is consuming me. From everything i have read it seems like any kind of normal life is impossible. I feel awful as i know others are suffering worse but this is just who i am. I am a mess. I have asked my Dr if the inflammation/apthous ulcers alone are diagnostic of Crohns but he won't answer me via email and said i need to make a further appointment. I don't know if he made the probable diagnosis on the inflammation + the "symptoms" or whether he would have made that diagnosis regardless of my exaggerated symptoms?

 

[ronroush7]

I agree with Guerrero.

 

[chris1290]

Hi Ron,
On what account, the fact that it could be anything, the suggestion of being retested or the fact that it should be fairly easy to control if it is Crohns and i should be able to return to a normal life?
I think i can deal with most things - my dad dies when i was 17 - he was only 45. My sister suffered severe deppression to the point where she tried to commit suicide. I watched my grandmother struggle with Demntia for years. I'm pretty good at bouncing back up but this one has me completely done. I can't seem to find an answer as to whether most people lead normal lives - all i read is how life limiting the ilness is.
I don't mean to sound like a baby as i know others are struggling with far worse symptoms but i am scared to death as to what this means. I already worry about a shortened life after seeing my father pass so early so i don't want to spend whatever years i have struggling with an incurable, debilitating illness.
thanks again for the replies both.

 

[ronroush7]

About being retested.

 

[Guerrero]

Seems you been through worst thing than Crohn's.. an incurable disease so far yes, but still manageable through actual medicine to allow almost normal life during eventual long periods of remission.

 

[eleanor_rigby]

Crohns is a tricky disease, some people go undiagnosed for decades as no two cases are the same. You can look at lists of symptoms and find some Crohn's patients may have only one of those symptoms. Some Crohn's patients have NO symptoms at all and only know they have active disease through routine testing.
You say you have read that people with Crohn's have unbearable lives - well if you have Crohn's your symptoms don't sound too unbearable to me? Reading the worst case scenarios isn't recommended. Most people who come to forums like these are the ones who are struggling. There are plenty of people out there with Crohn's getting on with their lives. My dad has ulcerative colitis and has had barely any problems for 30 years. He probably sees his colitis to not much different than a bit of hayfever!

Currently the way you are is no way to live. Yes it could be all anxiety but as you have been found to have ulcers on your colonoscopy before I would recommend not just trying to convince yourself it's all anxiety. It won't work because there will always be a question mark in your mind due to the colonoscopy findings 4 years ago. I think the only way to put this to bed is to repeat the colonoscopy.