xX_LittleMissValentine_Xx
Moderator
Hey everyone
I think I just need to write this to express how I am feeling because I don't really feel like there is anyone else to talk to about this at the moment.
At the moment I think I would describe my health as 'OK' I am able to get on with my daily tasks and go into Uni and concentrate on my work perfectly fine.
But I can feel that my health is slipping. I am getting twinges in various places in my abdomen and slightly more pain than usual, but this isn't really causing me too much trouble. I'm slightly off my food but I think this might be more psychological than physical. I am going to toilet once or twice a day and it varies in consistency, sometimes its a bit more urgent and diarrhoea and sometimes its quite formed.
I think my abscess wound is ok, I am cleaning after I go to the toilet with baby wipes and using anti-microbial cream in the shower.
The main thing I am worried about is that I keep getting twinges of pain in my bottom. It basically feels like its just on the inside of my rectum, close to where my abscess was but not the same. I also get pain every time I go to the toilet - its horrible! Sometimes a little bit of blood but not much.
I'm anxious because this is not how my crohn's usually presents itself and I'm worried my abscess has caused a fistula or that there is a new one from the fistulas I already have.
I have two appointments next week - one with my GI and one with the surgeon (which is the follow up from my abscess surgery which I haven't had yet).
I also feel bad because I am not currently doing anything to try and stop these fistulas from progressing. I told them I wanted to wait until after uni. I still have a month of uni and I don't know how much longer I can put this off, but at the same time I don't have the extra time or energy to put into treatment. I know my health is the most important thing but I am so so so close to finishing my degree. And to be honest my degree is doing me good at the moment because it is giving me something to focus on and a reason to get up in the morning.
I just feel so torn and I don't know what to do. I literally feel lost. I don't want to look back one day and say 'I should have started treatment as soon as I could' or 'I should have just finished my degree'
I just want this all to be over.
Sorry for the long post.
x x x
I think I just need to write this to express how I am feeling because I don't really feel like there is anyone else to talk to about this at the moment.
At the moment I think I would describe my health as 'OK' I am able to get on with my daily tasks and go into Uni and concentrate on my work perfectly fine.
But I can feel that my health is slipping. I am getting twinges in various places in my abdomen and slightly more pain than usual, but this isn't really causing me too much trouble. I'm slightly off my food but I think this might be more psychological than physical. I am going to toilet once or twice a day and it varies in consistency, sometimes its a bit more urgent and diarrhoea and sometimes its quite formed.
I think my abscess wound is ok, I am cleaning after I go to the toilet with baby wipes and using anti-microbial cream in the shower.
The main thing I am worried about is that I keep getting twinges of pain in my bottom. It basically feels like its just on the inside of my rectum, close to where my abscess was but not the same. I also get pain every time I go to the toilet - its horrible! Sometimes a little bit of blood but not much.
I'm anxious because this is not how my crohn's usually presents itself and I'm worried my abscess has caused a fistula or that there is a new one from the fistulas I already have.
I have two appointments next week - one with my GI and one with the surgeon (which is the follow up from my abscess surgery which I haven't had yet).
I also feel bad because I am not currently doing anything to try and stop these fistulas from progressing. I told them I wanted to wait until after uni. I still have a month of uni and I don't know how much longer I can put this off, but at the same time I don't have the extra time or energy to put into treatment. I know my health is the most important thing but I am so so so close to finishing my degree. And to be honest my degree is doing me good at the moment because it is giving me something to focus on and a reason to get up in the morning.
I just feel so torn and I don't know what to do. I literally feel lost. I don't want to look back one day and say 'I should have started treatment as soon as I could' or 'I should have just finished my degree'
I just want this all to be over.
Sorry for the long post.
x x x
You'll be done school soon (if not already) and then you have the degree behind you so when you feel up to it you can look for work. As hard as it may be I think you'll really be kicking yourself when you're order if you drop out and lose it all.
