- Joined
- Jul 15, 2011
- Messages
- 23
I am so glad to have found this site... I really need to unload a few things and talk to others who know where I'm coming from.
To start... I had colic my whole babyhood and my frequent stomach pain began when I was about 10 yrs old. I really don't know if this has a part in any of this but I was emotionally abused by my step father from age 5 until he started to physically and sexually abuse me at ages 11, 12 and 13. This caused a LOT of stress in my life being so young and always in "fight or flight" mode during the whole marriage. I was able to put him away after confessing to my school counselor in middle school and of course my mom immediately divorced him, he was put in jail after pleading guilty in court. Not looking for pity, just trying to include everything so I can connect the dots with a complete picture of what maybe caused my Crohns.
It wasn't more than 6 months later that my consistent gnawing stomach pain, constant need for a bathroom, and sharp shooting pain that left me hunched over in pain began. I believe it was after a year of being free from the step dad, I had my first Upper and Lower GI (Endoscopy and Colonoscopy?), finding worms. After dealing with the shock of having something so disturbing, I was told by the doctors that they only come from horses and that since I have no experience being around horses, they were most likely given to me by my step dad... Maybe too much information, but again, trying to see if any of this would cause/fit in with my Crohns. After getting rid of the worms, I still had the stomach pain and bathroom needs, though at this point my mom believes the problem is fixed and that is that.
All through out high school I focused on my grades due to always being home, didn't go to many parties, and my extra curricular revolved around varsity choir (big deal at my school). I managed to keep the stomach in check, not missing too many days just barely. My mom never really believed the pain was real until I doubled over during a steak celebratory dinner for getting good grades, having to immediately leave hunched over. This was the beginning of the doctor visits in which I was told that I'm stressing myself out and the pain isn't real.
Thank god for college. I was able to setup my own class schedule to work around my stomach and I spent most of my nights either in the newspaper room or in my dorm room doing homework. After two years I transferred to a school closer to home so I could deal with a serious depression I was going through. It wasn't until I was a Junior, age 21 that the new friends from my new school introduced me to marijuana. I had always been a straight-cut study nerd who always wore her seat-belt and didn't drink until legal age. Stomach problems take a lot of energy and I think makes it difficult to be a rebel.
To make a long story short... lots of doctors visits and tons of tests all negative stumped me and gave me no help. However, I found that when smoking pot, I had energy... I had an appetite... my pain was reduced to a very small annoyance. I did become a little overzealous smoking almost every day for a long time... but it wasn't until my grades started to slip that I realized I had to treat it with more respect; more like a medicine and less like a intoxicating substance for partying that my friends overused it for. I graduated with a 3.3/4.0 GPA, though before transferring I had a 3.8 for the first two years. I know I could have done better, but at this point I was just happy to graduate and survived college.
I got a temp job at "Employer 1" about 2 months after graduating. It was about 7 months into the job that I started missing a lot of days due to my stomach pain/issues, 8 months and I spent more time laying down in the nurses room and in the bathroom than at my desk and of course I had to quit shortly after. Tried a different doctor... ran more tests... all negative besides high white blood count.
At this point I was an unemployed 23-year-old with severe depression, rent and bills to pay borrowing from my mother, and a bad roommate creating a LOT of stress in my own home. I carried on this way, sicker than a dog, wallowing in my defeat to my stomach and depression for 6 months before I was able to get myself together and get a job working at "Employer 2." During this employment I had a couple months in the summer of missing a lot of work that I got my second Colonoscopy finding nothing yet again. Frustrated with all the negative tests but knowing something was obviously wrong with me, I turned to a psychiatrist that works specifically with child abuse victims. I figured if the doctors keep saying its stress, let's give it a shot. After being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after 6 months of therapy, I tried to work through my emotional trauma issues and did this while taking an accelerated degree program in order to get a 2nd degree. (No jobs in journalism? Try something else!) By January of 2011, I had my 2nd Bachelors degree in Human Resources. Being a study nerd this is something I'm proud of in spite of my killer stomach. But it was not long until my stomach took a turn for the worse despite my therapy and anti-depressants and so I took one final step to reduce my stress, I quit my very stressful Emergency Roadside Assistance job at "Employer 2." I was very fortunate enough to find a new job within a week.
So here I've been with "Employer 3" since the end of April and I've missed about two and a half weeks since I've been there. I found a new doctor who gave me new medication to help with my sleep disorder and it reacted very badly with my body causing extreme pain 24/7 and missed work. She got me in for a CAT scan of my abdomen which showed parts of my large intestines, and my small intestine going into the colon to be very inflamed, results I got during a visit to the ER that night. I was literally hysterical with the pain, with a migraine so bad I was hiding from everyone under a hand towel and crying hysterically when left alone without a nurse button due to a second rush of pain after the initial medicine. After giving me 2 days worth of Valium and spending 3 hours taking up their room, I was kicked out with a prescription for Prednisone and Valium. We are now up to two weeks ago if your still with me here.
After taking these meds for a few days, I felt normal AND energetic! I never felt so happy in my life! I was working lots of overtime to make up days I had missed at work and I was just so genuinely over-the-top happy for the first time ever! Nothing I say is enough to express the joy and hope I felt. When the Valium ran out I was fine, didn't need it anymore. However, when the steroids ran out...back to my old self... My doctor says I most likely have Crohns and I need to see a specialist to get it confirmed and get meds setup. 16 doctors and they can't fit me in for an office visit until September...
I ran out of the steroids Friday July 8 and I haven't been able to make it in to work all this week. Went to my doctors on Wednesday and was told that I didn't step off the steroids right. (2 pills down to 1 pill down to none? wrong... missed the step of half a pills in there, doh!) So she put me back on the Prednisone and finally gave me some real Crohns meds to hold me until I can get in with the specialist. I will begin taking Sulfasalazine 4x a day starting tomorrow.
When I spoke to my work yesterday they warned me that I'm too new to be missing these many days. Woke up this morning at 630 and proceeded to spend the next hour and a half in the bathroom in major pain. After doing this all morning I start at 8:30am I couldn't bare to not go in. I made myself drive to work and as I logged on I burst into tears. I went to my boss and explained that I just didn't have it in me and that I need to let these new meds kick in and of course he said you can't stand to miss anymore days. Go home, get some rest, and come in Monday morning. (Basically come in able to work consistently or no more job)
One important thing to note is that I LOVE THIS JOB and I have it set up for me to go into their Human Resources department as soon as 3 months. This is suppose to be the beginning of my career... this is suppose to be my big break and I'm stuck at home dealing with Crohns. Every time I tried to explain my "stomach thing" everyone would always tell me, "I hope its not Crohns!" and I would always shrug it off not knowing a lot about it. But finally having a doctor put a name on this "stomach thing" that was been wrecking my life more and more each passing year is... well its the first step to recovery. A real diagnosis... no more negative tests... no more doctors telling me its all in my head... no more mystery illness that no one understands. But having a name for it doesn't make it magically better...
I am so desperate for these medications to work and for me to be able to stay at my job and show them I'm a hard-worker. I've changed my whole diet to include less sodium and fat, less spice and tomato, smaller portions and frequency of eating red meat (big deal for me... I'm totally a steak girl). I NEED this to be manageable NOW or my big chance will be lost and so will I.
Sorry to rant like this... just so excited to find a support group because I've been needing to talk to someone who actually knows what its like. My mom has always been healthy and she can't understand where I got this from or why I'm always sick. She asks for grand kids one minute and then tells me I shouldn't have kids the next (worried I'll give them this). Lucky for me in all this I am living with my boyfriend who I've been with for 3 years, basically right after I finished my first degree and the real trouble began. He had a hard time dealing with my disease for the first couple of years and they were rough but he stood by my side and when I'm sick now he treats me with care making sure I have everything I need and making sure I'm resting if I can't work. He is my rock. I just don't want to overwhelm him all the time with this so finding this web site is hopefully going to help me in my goal to manage this disease.
Anyone who actually read all that... KUDOS and thank you for your patience and your attention to something very personal and probably way too long, hehe.
I'm trying to keep a positive attitude but could use ANY advice that you would be willing to give someone whose always known there was something wrong but never had a diagnosis until now.
~*~ I literally have until Monday morning to get it together and be able to work consistently. ~*~
Also, I found that meditating 30 minutes a day has been a real help to my stress level, but I haven't been doing it long enough to noticeably help with the Crohns. Anyone use this as a part of their treatment?
Yours truly,
Pam
To start... I had colic my whole babyhood and my frequent stomach pain began when I was about 10 yrs old. I really don't know if this has a part in any of this but I was emotionally abused by my step father from age 5 until he started to physically and sexually abuse me at ages 11, 12 and 13. This caused a LOT of stress in my life being so young and always in "fight or flight" mode during the whole marriage. I was able to put him away after confessing to my school counselor in middle school and of course my mom immediately divorced him, he was put in jail after pleading guilty in court. Not looking for pity, just trying to include everything so I can connect the dots with a complete picture of what maybe caused my Crohns.
It wasn't more than 6 months later that my consistent gnawing stomach pain, constant need for a bathroom, and sharp shooting pain that left me hunched over in pain began. I believe it was after a year of being free from the step dad, I had my first Upper and Lower GI (Endoscopy and Colonoscopy?), finding worms. After dealing with the shock of having something so disturbing, I was told by the doctors that they only come from horses and that since I have no experience being around horses, they were most likely given to me by my step dad... Maybe too much information, but again, trying to see if any of this would cause/fit in with my Crohns. After getting rid of the worms, I still had the stomach pain and bathroom needs, though at this point my mom believes the problem is fixed and that is that.
All through out high school I focused on my grades due to always being home, didn't go to many parties, and my extra curricular revolved around varsity choir (big deal at my school). I managed to keep the stomach in check, not missing too many days just barely. My mom never really believed the pain was real until I doubled over during a steak celebratory dinner for getting good grades, having to immediately leave hunched over. This was the beginning of the doctor visits in which I was told that I'm stressing myself out and the pain isn't real.
Thank god for college. I was able to setup my own class schedule to work around my stomach and I spent most of my nights either in the newspaper room or in my dorm room doing homework. After two years I transferred to a school closer to home so I could deal with a serious depression I was going through. It wasn't until I was a Junior, age 21 that the new friends from my new school introduced me to marijuana. I had always been a straight-cut study nerd who always wore her seat-belt and didn't drink until legal age. Stomach problems take a lot of energy and I think makes it difficult to be a rebel.
To make a long story short... lots of doctors visits and tons of tests all negative stumped me and gave me no help. However, I found that when smoking pot, I had energy... I had an appetite... my pain was reduced to a very small annoyance. I did become a little overzealous smoking almost every day for a long time... but it wasn't until my grades started to slip that I realized I had to treat it with more respect; more like a medicine and less like a intoxicating substance for partying that my friends overused it for. I graduated with a 3.3/4.0 GPA, though before transferring I had a 3.8 for the first two years. I know I could have done better, but at this point I was just happy to graduate and survived college.
I got a temp job at "Employer 1" about 2 months after graduating. It was about 7 months into the job that I started missing a lot of days due to my stomach pain/issues, 8 months and I spent more time laying down in the nurses room and in the bathroom than at my desk and of course I had to quit shortly after. Tried a different doctor... ran more tests... all negative besides high white blood count.
At this point I was an unemployed 23-year-old with severe depression, rent and bills to pay borrowing from my mother, and a bad roommate creating a LOT of stress in my own home. I carried on this way, sicker than a dog, wallowing in my defeat to my stomach and depression for 6 months before I was able to get myself together and get a job working at "Employer 2." During this employment I had a couple months in the summer of missing a lot of work that I got my second Colonoscopy finding nothing yet again. Frustrated with all the negative tests but knowing something was obviously wrong with me, I turned to a psychiatrist that works specifically with child abuse victims. I figured if the doctors keep saying its stress, let's give it a shot. After being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after 6 months of therapy, I tried to work through my emotional trauma issues and did this while taking an accelerated degree program in order to get a 2nd degree. (No jobs in journalism? Try something else!) By January of 2011, I had my 2nd Bachelors degree in Human Resources. Being a study nerd this is something I'm proud of in spite of my killer stomach. But it was not long until my stomach took a turn for the worse despite my therapy and anti-depressants and so I took one final step to reduce my stress, I quit my very stressful Emergency Roadside Assistance job at "Employer 2." I was very fortunate enough to find a new job within a week.
So here I've been with "Employer 3" since the end of April and I've missed about two and a half weeks since I've been there. I found a new doctor who gave me new medication to help with my sleep disorder and it reacted very badly with my body causing extreme pain 24/7 and missed work. She got me in for a CAT scan of my abdomen which showed parts of my large intestines, and my small intestine going into the colon to be very inflamed, results I got during a visit to the ER that night. I was literally hysterical with the pain, with a migraine so bad I was hiding from everyone under a hand towel and crying hysterically when left alone without a nurse button due to a second rush of pain after the initial medicine. After giving me 2 days worth of Valium and spending 3 hours taking up their room, I was kicked out with a prescription for Prednisone and Valium. We are now up to two weeks ago if your still with me here.
After taking these meds for a few days, I felt normal AND energetic! I never felt so happy in my life! I was working lots of overtime to make up days I had missed at work and I was just so genuinely over-the-top happy for the first time ever! Nothing I say is enough to express the joy and hope I felt. When the Valium ran out I was fine, didn't need it anymore. However, when the steroids ran out...back to my old self... My doctor says I most likely have Crohns and I need to see a specialist to get it confirmed and get meds setup. 16 doctors and they can't fit me in for an office visit until September...
I ran out of the steroids Friday July 8 and I haven't been able to make it in to work all this week. Went to my doctors on Wednesday and was told that I didn't step off the steroids right. (2 pills down to 1 pill down to none? wrong... missed the step of half a pills in there, doh!) So she put me back on the Prednisone and finally gave me some real Crohns meds to hold me until I can get in with the specialist. I will begin taking Sulfasalazine 4x a day starting tomorrow.
When I spoke to my work yesterday they warned me that I'm too new to be missing these many days. Woke up this morning at 630 and proceeded to spend the next hour and a half in the bathroom in major pain. After doing this all morning I start at 8:30am I couldn't bare to not go in. I made myself drive to work and as I logged on I burst into tears. I went to my boss and explained that I just didn't have it in me and that I need to let these new meds kick in and of course he said you can't stand to miss anymore days. Go home, get some rest, and come in Monday morning. (Basically come in able to work consistently or no more job)
One important thing to note is that I LOVE THIS JOB and I have it set up for me to go into their Human Resources department as soon as 3 months. This is suppose to be the beginning of my career... this is suppose to be my big break and I'm stuck at home dealing with Crohns. Every time I tried to explain my "stomach thing" everyone would always tell me, "I hope its not Crohns!" and I would always shrug it off not knowing a lot about it. But finally having a doctor put a name on this "stomach thing" that was been wrecking my life more and more each passing year is... well its the first step to recovery. A real diagnosis... no more negative tests... no more doctors telling me its all in my head... no more mystery illness that no one understands. But having a name for it doesn't make it magically better...
I am so desperate for these medications to work and for me to be able to stay at my job and show them I'm a hard-worker. I've changed my whole diet to include less sodium and fat, less spice and tomato, smaller portions and frequency of eating red meat (big deal for me... I'm totally a steak girl). I NEED this to be manageable NOW or my big chance will be lost and so will I.
Sorry to rant like this... just so excited to find a support group because I've been needing to talk to someone who actually knows what its like. My mom has always been healthy and she can't understand where I got this from or why I'm always sick. She asks for grand kids one minute and then tells me I shouldn't have kids the next (worried I'll give them this). Lucky for me in all this I am living with my boyfriend who I've been with for 3 years, basically right after I finished my first degree and the real trouble began. He had a hard time dealing with my disease for the first couple of years and they were rough but he stood by my side and when I'm sick now he treats me with care making sure I have everything I need and making sure I'm resting if I can't work. He is my rock. I just don't want to overwhelm him all the time with this so finding this web site is hopefully going to help me in my goal to manage this disease.
Anyone who actually read all that... KUDOS and thank you for your patience and your attention to something very personal and probably way too long, hehe.
I'm trying to keep a positive attitude but could use ANY advice that you would be willing to give someone whose always known there was something wrong but never had a diagnosis until now.
~*~ I literally have until Monday morning to get it together and be able to work consistently. ~*~
Also, I found that meditating 30 minutes a day has been a real help to my stress level, but I haven't been doing it long enough to noticeably help with the Crohns. Anyone use this as a part of their treatment?
Yours truly,
Pam
