Hello

[harrya]

Hi all,
I was diagnosed 4 years ago at 18 with what my consultant called mild crohns colitis (not conclusive as the inflammation is at the border of where crohns appears). I realise that most if all people on this forum probably have a far worse condition than mine and yet still I really feel the need to write this. When I was diagnosed I needed to talk to someone, I turned to my friends which in hindsight was not the right decision since they thought the idea of a 'leaky' bum hilarious.
Although obviously I didn't take this well and they changed the topic of the jokes, I don't think I ever fully recovered mentally. I don't know if I'm depressed/was depressed or if it's just in my head, I'm constantly giving myself conditions or illnesses through self diagnosis as if I want to be ill. I find it hard to be happy and every pain registers as a serious problem. It doesn't matter if you read this or not, I've just tried to avoid the situation (whilst still taking the pills and having one three day hospital trip this last new years) and thinking myself happy and over it have found myself back to crying (not in front of others). I just wanted to put this down in words to try to justify my feelings since I don't think I could go back to physically talking to people about it. It's weird to think like this but that was actually quite hard to write... Maybe this has caused me to have a massive lack of self confidence and/or trust in others. I don't really know whats going on in my head and I don't know how to make it better, is this something to talk to my consultant about or am I just being pathetic?
I'm sorry for rambling, as I said I just need to put it down in words because I can't talk to anyone about it.

Sorry,

Harry

 

[deb123]

Hi Harry,

I was diagnosed at about 18 and thought my world had ended. I was full of why me? I thought that i wasnt as good as the next person cos i had this embarressing flaw, but do you know what its normal to feel like you do. Of course youre gonna feel depressed, and in your mind make it into a really big deal. But thats what Crohns thrives on.

You will get better, life gets easier, as you will find that you learn to adapt to a stage where it will be a normal part of your life. I have found that as i have gone through life, that no one is perfect as they seem. We all have our weakness, and flaws.

I think you seem really down, and speaking to your Doctor will help you. But you are completely normal with your feelings - it is a big deal but only at this time.

Best wishes to you Harry

 

[skippy111]

Harry,
please do not feel like no one wants to hear your story.

This place is great, we all learn and share from each other and have fun doing it too.

the most important thing for you to keep in mind is that Stress and Anxiety will amplify any symptoms you may have or trigger something.

I also have Depression and Adhd... so between the Chron's and the Mental issues they both work together and can be very debilitating.

We are all here to talk, to listen, and to help one another.

best of luck
Skippy

 

[Aura]

Hi Harry

Thanks for writing your post. It is hard at times to cope physically and emotionally with bowel problems caused by IBD. The first thing is to acknowledge that coping is challenging - I let my doctor know this and how it made me feel and what my thoughts were. I have been on antidepressants for 3 years now since I had a mental breakdown, these have stabilised me and supported me to cope better with the challenges that I face each day. It did take about 6 weeks before I had enough of the medication in my system.

Some coping strategies that I have used include:
1. writing sticky notes around the house saying 'acute pain does not last' and other quotes that focus on positive actions. At one point my house was plastered with them

2. manage pain with appropriate pain meds for the level of pain. This is still struggle with as often I let myself feel too much pain before I take a med.

3. I would tell people around me the truth - 'at this point I am sore' or 'today I hurt' - rather than try and hold my stomach and look in pain to gain sympathy from my hubby. Now I just tell him how it is for me and what I need.

Harry, you are not rambling - and yes, please talk to your docs or GI about what you feel and what you think. From my experience when I am feeling pain I am in pain and it is not in my head it is in my guts.

You are really welcome here - create threads and engage in the forums and you will find many people that can truly understand what you are going through.

Great to meet you

:smile:

 

[Irene3]

Hi Harry, and welcome to the forum. I agree with Aura. A lot of people with ibd are on antidepressants, and depression is normal, given the symptoms of crohns can be so severe.
I agree you should speak to your doc about the depression.
I don't know anyone that wants to be sick, so maybe each of your symptoms just worry you. Before my crohns diagnosis, I only went to a few gp's, as my symptoms got worse, and none of them took my symptoms seriously. Then after my gi told me I needed a bowel resection, I thought...no, it will be alright, then I needed emergency surgery. So now, EVERY new symptom I have, I ask my doc about. Lately, having been diagnosed with depression, I sometimes worry I'm manic depressive, because of how much I focus on my symptoms sometimes. I think though, that having a crohnic illness, with so many extra intestinal manifestations, it's natural to ask your doc if a new symptom is something to worry about or not. Ignoring it, could potentially make it worse, and if it's nothing to worry about, great, if it is, all the better you ask.
I get really embarrassed speaking about my symptoms to those who are not close to me. And with gas, it's even uncomfortable around my family, when it's A LOT of gas, because I don't want to stink, and I feel like it's a great laugh for mum even, but to let one after another out....no! So I understand how you feel, and someone wrote to me on here, that they were the same(embarrassed), but like 15 years with crohns, they no longer are. So maybe in a few years, we'll feel the same.

And vent here if you need to! It helps so much to have others give advice, with the same symptoms. If you need to smile, look up 'you know your farts a bad when....' . I got a great laugh out of it the other day, one of the first times I could laugh about D and farts, rather then feel it's just disgusting. So with time it gets better.
Sorry it's so long, but hope it helps xo

 

[Supreme_2]

I agree with everyone else here. I had anxiety/depression before I was diagnosed with UC. When I feel good, it's good. When I'm flaring and in pain is when the emotions start to take control. Lots of people don't understand what these diseases do to us because they are invisible and we look fine on the outside. I am actually going see my psychiatrist to vent on Monday. She helps me through these things. Take Care!