How does CD or IBS affect your sexlife

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tomohio

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DOes anyone have trouble ED or other things with sex.
I have had ED for a long time now I read that it may have been casue in part due to CD.
Just wondering.
Tom:eek2:
 
MY IBD has caused just the opposite problem for me (and no, I'm not bragging here)
I think either the pooling of blood (think the official term is 'vascular congestion') has either increased my libido OR is putting pressure on my prostate somehow.. Else the constant diarhea (sp?) has somehow resulted in an overactive libido. I'm not sure which. Now, to some folks, this might sound like an indirect benefit of the disease. Let me tell you otherwise. First, I'm an old fellow, and my days of strictly listening to my baser instincts are behind me. Secondly, I'm ill. My health and stamina ain't what they used to be. It's difficult to pay any real heed to feelings of this nature when most of the time I feel sick and tired, and a lot of the remaining time I just feel like crap (or at least like I may have to take one at any second). So despite certain parts of my body insisting at the most inconvenient of times that I be in the mood, or get in the mood, most of the time I'm physically and emotionaly NOT in the mood, and these physical apparitions are just a huge annoyance. Like, I'm too old, sick, tired and just not comfortable with suddenly having the libido that I did when I was a teenager. It's just a cruel, ironic joke of my illness at this stage of my life. Now, if I wasn't ill, then I'd at least feel better about it as a side effect.
Problem is, I don't even feel comfortable with discussing it with my doctors. Like, I feel that it isn't really vital to discuss it. Maybe that's a big oversight on my part.. I wonder if I'd feel differently if it was the opposite? The grass is always greener...
 
The only problems I have is when I have had surgery and I am tender but other than that, sex seems to reduce the aches, cramps and pains that come with crohns for me.


Ruth
 
Same here, Ruth. In fact, I like to think of sex as just one more way of treating my disease. It releases a lot of endorphins (sp?) and my entire body feels great afterwards, although sometimes it might not last very long, depending on how sick I am from my CD at the time.

Also? Great exercise. Since I also have arthritis, I don't do a lot of conventional exercise (although yoga and pilates are super-popular now, I suppose, but I've been doing both for over a decade) and I definitely count good sex as my exercise for the day.

(Erm... trying to not get TOO TMI because of the youth factor, so, if I'm stepping out of line, any moderator should feel free to PM me with a warning about how far to take the sex talk.)

(Oh yeah... I do happen to be married to a wonderful guy. I don't know why that should make a difference but it seemed pertinent to mention it because, well, to put it delicately, I have sex on a fairly regular basis. Even though if I'm feeling sick, and my tummy is hurting, I just tell my husband that and he completely understands. Even on our honeymoon--the first two nights were a bit rough on me, since I was still processing through all of the stress from trying to organize a wedding that I didn't really want but that both of our parents insisted upon us having--plus you get pretty good tax relief for being married--so, I had to tell my new husband on those first few nights in Hawaii that, well, I'm not feeling so good, so let's just go to sleep. His wonderful response was, "That's fine, I just want you to feel good and, besides, I can't complain because we're in Hawaii!" So, having a loving, caring partner is, I think, an essential component for dealing with the sex and IBD issue. And I'm not saying you have to be married! You just have to trust each other, and not be afraid to communicate.)

(I'm also a complete MORON. After posting this, I went to bed and finally realized what "ED" stood for. So, feel free to completely mock me for not getting the question AT ALL.)

Katie.
 
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I have to admit that's the upside. Nothing does as much to relieve stress & PAIN as a healthy sex life. Seems you just have to get over or get past the initial pain in order to partake in activity that will release those endorphins. Sort of a double edged sword... I think one of the more dehibilatating aspects of this disease is the damage it does to ones ego.. and it's pretty hard to get in the mood for sex if your ego has taken a pounding.. Get past that, and it's the best therapy there is.
 
tomohio said:
DOes anyone have trouble ED or other things with sex.
I have had ED for a long time now I read that it may have been casue in part due to CD.
Just wondering.
Tom:eek2:
Click to expand...

I've had almost no libido since my early 20s when I was first diagnosed. My problem isn't ED, just a complete lack of interest in sex for some reason.
 
They say the biggest sex organ is the brain. As to how an individual brain would react to a diagnosis, whose to say. There is a hormonal aspect to ones libido, so it could be both physical AND mental, so it's worth pursuing with ones doctor.
 
My doctors have no idea. All the hormones and everything test out perfectly and I have a higher than normal testosterone level. I think what's interesting about crohn's is how it affects everyone differently. I don't have symptoms anywhere near as bad as some of the people here and I've never needed surgery and probably won't ever need surgery...but my sex drive is a complete mess and has been since I was first diagnosed.
 
I would suggest seeing an endocrinologist about hypothyroidism. It is very hard to diagnose, but seems to be linked to this disease.

I think that it may cause a few Crohn's related problems including lack of a sex drive by itself. I have some reason to believe I may be affected by this to a lesser degree.

Dan Bergman
 
I have problems getting and keeping erections, plus since spring when I first started getting sick again, my sex drive has been shot. hopefully here soon it will all change because I finally got meds and had a long overdue surgery.
joetz-the same for me from the beginning, the crohns monster doesn't like getting down.
 
What's kind of interesting about my situation is that my testosterone levels are above normal, me thyroid checks out perfectly and I ace all the endocrinologist's tests. I'm in complete remission right now and I have zero sex drive. I think maybe my extreme shyness and anxiety issues are what is killing the libido and making my body go to war with my intestines. Maybe if I could calm down somehow, the libido would come back and so would my health.
 
anxiety would have a big play in it, perhaps that's what could be wrong with me as well. I just started Ativan for anxiety and sleep, but it's only been a few weeks. I would talk to your doc about it, perhaps all you need if a good med. Ativan just makes me sleepy, thats about it, but I do notice that I'm not always "on edge" like I usually am. it's mild to say the least, there's a lot rougher drugs out there.
 
When I am sleepy is the only time I have any kind of sex drive! What kind of doctor do I need to see regarding this Ativan drug? I'd appreciate it if you could tell if it works for you.
 
for Ativan you could just ask your primary care doc, or your G.I.
since it's an anxiety drug, it's common for crohns patients to get them from their G.I.
most G.I.'s even prescribe antidepressants, mine did when I first got diagnosed.
so far the Ativan is working greatly for my anxiety, especially after my surgery, my mind was so f-ed, afraid I was gonna pull myself open, etc.
all silly, I know, but I have needed something for anxiety for a while, and Ativan worked great for me. it doesn't have bad side effects other than constipation, which I haven't had and it doesn't seem to interfere with other meds.
 
couple of things to ponder. Let me use a crude analogy here. You have a sports car. You love taking it out for spins. Then, dammit, you've thrown a piston. Have to have the engine rebuilt. In your minds eye, you know that you have to rebuild the engine. It puts thinking about the occasional spin on the back burner until you get the engine fixed. Such a mindset is going to result in less interest, both physiological and psychological. Personally I don't see that as abnormal. Now, you can probably work around one or the other of those with drugs, just bear in mind that it's a two fold problem and that one solution may not resolve it. Like, its one thing to say to oneself that its all in my mind, if I get my hands on the proper drugs, it will all be taken care off. The reality is that... well, if one considers the location of the male G spot, and the 'condition' of the 'plumbing' in the typical crohnie, then it's highly likely that a libido issue isn't all in ones head. and the mood enhancers, stabilizers, whatever, may not do the trick. If that happens, don't let that escalate your perception of it. What may be happening is that your brain is saying.. "hey, a little perspective here! We need to address rebuilding the engine first.. Then I'll let you have some fun" you just can't think a new piston. Course, if ones health life is presently at a pleasant plateau, and there is genuine fun in ones life, and your libido is still off on an extended break.. thats a different case
 
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I haven't had any trouble with things working properly. If I have abdominal pain, sex is painful, and it just makes things worse for me. But that usually doesn't stop me. I feel pretty guilty for saying no, so I usually don't unless I'm having a really bad day.
 
I suffer from ED as well and it started in my early 20's which now that I know so much more about CD then I did even 6 months ago I think I've had it since my early 20's but it just wasn't as pervasive until now. I have noticed since I've been taking prednisone to put myself into remission I have regained some of my sex drive but I haven't had a chance to see if ED is still present. I'm hoping that CD is/was the cause.
 
oh, I totally forgot Pred get you going. I just started pred again, I'll keep my fingers crossed.
 
Doesn't really affect my drive, but sometimes when I am feeling yucky I have to just say, "No". In this situation, it really makes a world of a difference to be in a relationship with someone who understands. Luckily, I have a girlfriend who does!
 
likewise, my girlfriend totally understands and is very patient with me. I must admit, it feels good being desired, she is wanting it BAD and now with my surgery over with and getting the pred in me it could be any day now!
whee.
 
I only got diagnosed on Monday, and have been on Pred since tuesday. Last night was the first time i've been to the toilet in over a year without any pain and i also discovered i had put on 5 pounds in weight since Monday too, so i was in a pretty good mood! However at the moment my wife gets hurt having sex with me due to how skinny i am with my bones sticking out everywhere, plus i feel really bad naked at the moment too, which really kills the moment. But once the weight is back on, woohoo!!!!
 
There are the direct effects of this damned disease, plus the indirect affects. When I first began experiencing some of the more unpleasant aspects of IBD, one of my worst fears was having an 'accident' while sharing a bed with someone. My drive per se never faltered, but that nitemare made sleeping together less desirable. It took me quite a while to get past that. Fortunately, I never had any 'accidents'. It would have been a different story if I had one...
 
same fear here. I'm sure a lot of us have that fear, though.
oh, to be a horny kronie.
 
I don't think being a hornie knonie would be a bad thing. It certainly might take ones mind off of the disease... AND, if able to 'deal' with that condition, natural endorphins are the best pain meds there are (and you gotta love the delivery method). And, the government hasn't found a way to tax it or take it from us (yet)

Even my personal fear, as real as it is... I've found a way to put some positive spin on it... That is to accept the fear, then try to see what could make it much worse. For me, that was to be thankful that, with this disease AND my fear, at least I am straight. I can't imagine how a gay man would cope with both IBD & the fear of an accident. I know that may sound trite, an oversimplification, and a stereotypical 'joke'. I wasn't trying to be funny, or non politically correct. It's just a thought that allowed me to see that no matter how bad I see my life at times, there are ways that it could be worse. Trite, but it does help me cope.
 
The only time I have any libido issues is when I'm having a flare. With all the pain in my abdomen I don't really feel like doing any bumping or grinding. I usually don't have any saluting going on either because I'm so preoccupied with my guts that I'm not really in the mood. My only problem is holding any gas I may have until the end. I'd hate to be in the middle and blast one off. Kinda ruins the mood. And during "certain moments" I'm a little self conscious when my bowels are constantly gurgling.

Far as having accidents in bed, I usually don't. I've definitely had a couple (especially when I had to take a mild laxative because I occasionally get constipated and blocked up) and multiple close calls, but thankfully I sleep like...well like someone who doesn't. I rarely reach REM sleep. Real light sleeper. Case in point, I woke suddenly the other night around 4 in the morning because subconsciously I realized I was smelling burnt wiring and had to turn off a light switch that had burnt out on us. The wife slept through the whole thing.
 
If I knew I was going to have an encounter, I would not eat anything for many hours before the occasion. But that wouldn't solve the pain problem that many people have. I don't have much pain right now, but if it was severe that would obviously be a hindrance, you might think.

When I was in the hospital last month after my resection I was in a lot of pain. It was just two days after the surgery. The nurses had got me up to walk and then they had to do something with the bandage, I can't remember even exactly what it was they were doing, but I was standing up and my mid-section was fully-exposed. The head nurse, who was doing most of whatever it was, was extremely attractive. She was trying to talk about something unrelated to minimize the embarrassment of the situation, but that didn't keep me from coming to life, so to speak, in that area. I was kind of surprised and joined in the conversation to get my mind off it and diffuse the situation.

Suffice to say, this has not been a problem for me at all. It's actually more of a problem that the desire cannot be fulfilled most of the time as I'm not married and don't have a steady girlfriend. And the prospects are not good at this point. When you have to say you're a bus driver, when asked, it tends to scuttle any interest that may have been there. And I'm not one to lie.
 
Well, you might say that you drive a $125,000.00 stretch Mercedes (but I'm betting it's not made by Mercedes right?).. Ok. skip that idea. They say there is someone for everyone. I met my better half one night while I was on a date with a lovely young french gal who made everyones head turn... then the little woman walked on stage. Despite my companion being totally wonderful, and eye candy, I couldn't keep my eyes off the lady on stage. Something sort of just snapped. Anyway, she and I got together, and have been so ever since.
The bit about someone for everyone? Well, years ago, as a figure skater, she was injured. Lost most of her sense of smell. Years after we got together, I go and develop IBD. Who else would have been able to put up with me otherwise
 
Yeah, I've always believed the day will come. Some of the women who ride the bus are attractive and may consider my salary better than some of the guys they're used to, and wouldn't be as worried as much about the social consequences of being together with someone of low socio-economic status since they're used to it. But I'm just in a weird situation because I come from a very well-off family and intellectually just relate much better to the women that most likely wouldn't have anything to do with dating a bus driver (not to mention one w/Crohn's). So I'll just have to deal with it and go get a massage every now and then to relieve the stress.

Why don't I get a different a job? After my surgery I had to get something quick with good insurance. And this was the best-paying thing that became available in a timely manner.
 
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Well, actually, the job might be a blessing in disguise. Removes you from a pool of women who 'may' be more financially centric than those you're exposed to now. It could be someone from a poorer background who rides the bus from an economic necessity, or it could be someone who see mass transit as the ecologically 'right' mode of transit... Or it could be a waitress, bar-tender, etc., who sees a nice guy who regularly visits as a nice, potential friend w benefits.
 
I haven't had any interest in sex in quite some time, I don't believe its ED. Though I cannot say since I haven't really done anything. Just nothing puts me into the mood or turns me on like I used to be.

At the same time though I have been having dreams and waking with an erection. Maybe the LDN though.
 
If one is experiencing ED, yet is able/aware they are achieving erections in their sleep, the ED is not physiological in nature. 'They' say that psychological ED is the most common form/type (like in the upper 80 percentile range). Many refer to it as 'performance anxiety', and it can form a nasty, viscious cycle that's hard to break.

You know, if one forgets about 'performance', not concentrate on the possibility an erection won't occur when one wants, just get off the whole 'destination vs journey' mentality, then the issue can be resolved w/o resorting to any viagara

Like, there is no rule that says it has to be arousal, erection, penetration AND orgasm. Whether you want to call it 'petting', 'making out' or just 'foreplay', a person can have a lot of fun.... and that's the big idea... to just have fun. W/O any feelings of pressure, of having to perform, to having to follow the 4 steps.
Just do what you feel like, keep doing it as long as it continues to feel good. If it leads to something more; GREAT!. If it doesn't, then it's still GREAT!. That's it in a nutshell. You gotta a little pain... do something nice to take your mind off it. If the pain is too great to continue/escalate, just stay within your comfort zone. Bear in mind the whole sex/endorphin thing. If your tummy 'grumbles', breaking your concentration, put some music on; or if your 'fear' is that your partner might be put-off by the 'tummy' noises, do something to take their mind off it... it might even wind up taking your mind off it too. the whole idea is just to relax. Relax. Enjoy what you can do, do what you can enjoy. Nothing more.
 
I just had my testosterone levels checked and they're a little low but the doctor says that may be due to the CD and wants to check the levels again after I get this flare under control... interesting stuff
 
That's interesting. A recent study (and I dont' have the particulars, just synopsis on the local news) stated that low testosterone levels were linked to increased risk of developing serious illness. up till this announcement/study, most thought that elevated testosterone would be linked to heart attack, stroke, osteo damage, etc., etc.. Now, I wonder if these genius doctors looked at the other possibility.. that serious illness somehow resulted in lowering the level of testosterone. Like, did they ever hear of 'which came first, chicken or the egg'.. something as simple as an extended low grade fever, common to illnesses like this, could increase sperm mortality, eventually lowering the level of testosterone in the body. Like, if a vasectomy can increase testosterone in men (the basis of concerns over the long term health affects of this otherwise light procedure)... So can sitting in tubs of cold water, or going 'commando'. I somehow don't see going commando as a viable treatment for guys with IBD.
 
What kind of scares me about my symptoms is that even though I'm in remission I have no sex drive. I can understand how being sick can take you out of the mood, but why can I not get in the mood no matter what, even though I am not having a flare up? That's what's bothering me.

The worst part is that the few of us that do feel like eunuchs following the onset of the disease never seem to recover. I have yet to meet someone who says "I lost my sex drive and did A B and C and now I feel like an 18 year old again!" I've been a sexual invalid now for almost 10 years.
 
I have always had an increased libido until I got to college and when I go to the loo I always have to apply large amounts of pressure to get the stool out so my taint hurts afterwards and has hurt ever since the second week of college.
 
JeffD.. Sounds like a case for a doc to examine. Could be the start of a fistula or fissure. could be internal hemmeroids, could be a problem with sphincter muscle.

JoeTZ. Libido is a personal thing.. there is no 'norm' per se. Everyone is different.
If yours poses no problem, don't worry about it. If you want it to change, then it is something that will respond to medical attention... if you're willing to pursue it. From what you've posted, sounds like you have done so, but with no discernable results. Thing of it is, for guys w/o crohns/IBD who have problems with libido, ED, etc., most of these are not physiological in nature, there are no 'clinical' reasons for the problem.. Folks just don't appreciate the power of the mind. A mans sex drive, ability to perform, faith in himself, etc., controlls a lot of things.. Chronic illness can have a severe, long lasting, deeply imbedded hold on ones id or ego. And the vulnerability of the male ego is a thing of legend. I would see the results of all of the testing you've had done that there is great reason to believe that there are no physical impairments in your case. You've ruled out everything I can possibly think of... and from the look of it, everything your doctors can think of too. Now, some folks aren't comfortable with the idea that (like the joke about the senior male who went to the dr complaining that his sex drive was too high... too high asks the doc, at your age it's all in your head. Right doc, says the old man.. Can you lower it for me?) it might be all in their head. A lowered libido IS statistically a problem with the conscious mind.
Now, whether that's an ailing ego, a self fulfilling prophecy, a shattered id, or a side effect of depression (either emotional or chemical in nature) only a doctor can tell. But, just the same as a GI is better than a GP at treating crohns, the choice doctor to treat this is typically a psychologist or psychiatrist. To some, the mere thought of consulting one of these specialists raises big red flags. It's a knee jerk reaction. Fact of the matter is, these are the best people to see in cases where the cause isn't physical... Some folks can't get past the red flags. Those that do, usually have such good results they kick their ass for not going sooner. If my favorite toy were broken, I'd wouldn't delay going to see one.
 
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Not a woman. Heard of it years ago... back in the late 70's. Ran into it once too.
For any woman with it, it certainly can be a very difficult condition to overcome.
 

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