I caused this!?

[SpringRoll]

Hi I am newly diagnosed and new to the boards. I am like really upset right now and don't know where else to rant about this. I don't know if this is appropriate or not and don't want to be judged but if its not I guess it will be taken down or what not.

I am 22 years old. I was supposed to be backpacking across europe right now for my year off before I get my masters. Instead I moved home and I am spending the money I saved for it on medical stuff. So I am struggling. Going from social life to life pretty much in bed is hard for me. Now I know its hard on my dad too but today I think he crossed a line!

I experimented in college, I am not proud but I am not ashamed either. I did some drugs and some how my dad found out (i think my sister told him). My dad said to me today "maybe this isn't crohns, maybe its cause you did so much x in college". then he said "or maybe you sparked the crohns that way". I just don't get it. His dad died of colon cancer, his mom's cousin had crohns, she had uc, and his nephew has crohns... why is it that I got it from drugs? I think he feels guilty like its his genes that caused it but i never made him feel that way!

I dont know. I don't even know what to say. I have been crying a little tonight. I feel like my dad thinks its my fault and now, a part of me is curious. I wasn't an addict by any means (my sister and said dad are alcoholics btw) but i did do things. Is this my fault? could i have avoided it.

thanks for listening.

 

[Rebecca85]

There is a genetic component to Crohn's, and then something sets it off. In your case, it could have been drugs that set it off. But it could just as easily be something else- mine started after a particularly nasty throat infection which I took lots of ibuprofen for.

So I really don't think you could have avoided it, and I don't think it's your fault. But it's a natural reaction for others to think that, because then a) they don't have to give you much sympathy at a time when they're probably grieving (see the sticky about grief) and b) it means your dad doesn't have to worry about himself getting ill (it's a subconscious reaction by the ego)

In time, when you and your family have come to terms with your diagnosis, hopefully your dad will see it's not your fault. In the meantime, feel free to come on here, rant and blow off steam, that is what this board is here for!

 

[tiloah]

I'm sorry your dad has made you feel bad. I have never heard of any research that indicates that casual drug use causes or increases the chance of Crohn's. For what it's worth I've never done any illegal drugs and I drank very rarely before I was diagnosed. I mean we know your dad is full of it, but I'm just saying the facts stand behind you saying so.

 

[kossy]

Certainly their are thing that my exacerbate ones condition. But to cause it, no one knows what causes this disease.
I know there is probably more to the story, hurt, anger, and guilt forsure by everyone on all different levels. Is it possible for you and your dad to have a safe place or person impartial to help talk out everything between you two?

 

[Trev]

hi springroll, when i got crohns 20 something years ago, i thought it was because of my lifestyle, i now know that had nothing to do with it. maybe your dad is venting because he is concerned about you. its hard to see your kids in pain. no one will judge you on here. sorry to hear you missed your trip.

 

[kllyeve]

There are so many thoeries about how the Crohn's is triggered in a person that has the genetic predisposition, so it is hard to say if taking "x" was the cause.

Did you take NSAIDs for anything? Did you ever have a severe intestinal flu, food poisoning or infection? Did you go through a very stressful situation - a bad break-up or other family trauma?

All the above are possible triggers according to some of the research I have heard. And some people never know what, if anything, set it off. Some look back, once diagnosed, and realize they had it most of their childhood or adult life.

I get the "if only you would eat better, exercise, take supplement ____" then you would cure your Crohn's like your sister did. I also am told I stress out too much and that is my whole problem.

Could you have avoided it - impossible to say as research hasn't pinned down exactly what set it off.

It's not your fault. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[KWalker]

My honest beliefs are that crohns is caused by the foods that we eat. There are so many chemicals in even our "natural" food now that is just so bad for you its unreal. I met a GI once and he was born in Africa. Up until he moved here he had no idea what crohns was, but then to think... Do they even have food over there? Lol. Does anyone know of crohns in the Japanese/Asian culture? I know Japan is obviously a huge developed country but I've never heard of any of them having crohns. Before I ramble on, I just think its impossible to avoid it, unless you have your food grown for you from birth. Crohns is everywhere.

Is it too embarrassing for you to say the drugs you did? I'm sure there's some people on here too that could possibly even relate. If you have crohns you can get medical marijuana for it to help as they use it to help us!

Just ignore people like tha who tell you its your fault. My medical records say I was 2 when I was diagnosed. Does that mean I caused it? Lol

 

[Lisa]

It definitely wasn't your fault! Like others said, there can/is a genetic disposition for it.....my Mom found out only a few years ago that she has asymptomatic Crohns!.....

I was diagnosed when I was about 7 yeras old - after my Mother was told she was a hysterical parent (even with bleeding, D, weight loss etc).....

My father was in denial for a LOOOONG time - tried to blame the illness on 'bugs' or parasites that he may have brought back from one of his overseas trips.....he even tried to get me to change doctors a few times to get a 'different' diagnosis - and this was when I was in my 20's already!

Know that you didn't cause it - yes, it may have been lying in wait for that opportune time to rear its' ugly head (or backside!).....but it could have come up with any one of MANY triggers!

 

[nativesith]

I am no doctor or expert of any kind...but I do not believe any of what your Father said.
Instead of looking for answers... he needs to open his eyes to what is happening to his family.
I think stress plays a real big part in this. When I was really stressed out it hit me harder.
School, work, and going out sometimes all becomes too much.
Again...I am no expert. But you have my support, prayers, and friendship.

 

[rollinstone]

I used to do a lot of drugs from about 17-21 and I was diagnosed last year at the age of 24, but I don't think drugs caused it, personally It could be too many things, I was quite vain when I was younger and was on anti biotics for about 2 years coz it kept my skin clear, could it be that? I never really ate healthy, could it be that? I used to binge drink ALOT, could it be that? Could it be a combination of everything? I was more stressed than iv ever been before I got the dx that was when the tell tail symptoms really started, point is, they dont know what causes this disease yet, and every bodies DNA is different so causes most likely have a spectrum of variance, but don't beat yourself up about it, it's definitely not your fault. In regards to kwalker mentioning medical marijuana, I can only tell you that it's a match made in heaven for this condition!

 

[KWalker]

Wow you guys brought back a really old thread!

 

[ProspectorsQuartet]

I think the level of hypocrisy shown by his dad's reaction warrants the attention.

 

[Ya noy]

Well, that theory certainly doesn't explain why there are babies with Crohns, does it? If casual drug use caused Crohns, I would think there would be a whole lot more high school and college students with it.

 

[nativesith]

Thank you Ya noy. I have been getting these symptoms all of my life. I was na a drug addict er alcoholic when I was a baby. I had no clue about any of this or drugs when this all started.
People and even doctors round us will point at all the negative aspects. Been dealing with issues like this my whole life, defending myself for too long.
I wish it was different or at least others would na lower themselves by saying something like that.

 

[misunderstood]

When I first started having problems, doctors minimized my condition and told me to reduce stress and everything would be all right. After living with it for a couple years, I started drinking alcohol because that definitely makes you feel calm. After drinking alcohol, they could blame my problems on that, saying alcohol is irritating to the digestive system. The problems were absolutely there first for years before ever taking a drink. It's just one more way that the patient gets blamed for something no one would ever want to have. We do not cause these problems!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[mwkwmn]

Sorry to hear your having such a bad time. There are so many things that can trigger crohns flares I would suggest you and your dad educate yourself as much as possible on how crohns flares begin and maybe this will help both of you. Please do not make yourself feel guilty no one asked for this disease we just have to educate ourselves and try to find any elements that may trigger a flare and be more careful. Just a suggestion good luck to you.

 

[Trysha]

Hi SpringRoll,
It is not your fault.
There is a genetic predisposition in many cases and looking at your family history it could be only a matter of time before you developed crohn's.
There are also microbial implications.
I do not smoke or drink or take drugs, followed a good diet and then it happened...
crohn's......
Nobody knows yet what the cause is for crohn's.
Feel better soon
Hugs and best wishes
Trysha

 

[mwkwmn]

I think a lot of college adults and non college adults try things just to figure out who they are. It's a tough time for young adults. Your dad loves you and wants the best for you. I am a dad of a college student and I know she's going to try some things and I just hope that she understands the affects it can have on her life. She was diagnosed with UC at 17 and has handled it very well. I dont think you should be so hard on yourself. We can't control getting this disease but we can control how we handle it. Try to keep a good attitude about your disease and remember your dad loves you and only wants the best for you sometimes we dads have a hard time expressing our true feelings.