I don't know what to do...

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akanderson

akanderson

Joined
May 16, 2011
Messages
49
I haven't been very active on here lately. I read through some post then do something else. But lately, I feel as though I have hit a brick wall. My fiancee and I canceled our wedding. I can't focus on it at all. I can barely focus of life. We decided maybe we would get married early so I can get on his insurance and well guess what... He pays 475 a month for our daughter and himself, adding me would bring it up to 995 a month. We can't afford that. So we didn't get married early. We found an insurance agent and they are getting private insurance and I qualify for the pre existing condition insurance and I have to have a doctor's note, which I called them Thursday for and no one called me back yet. We are broke as a joke.

We get food stamps which I'm greatful for but they aren't enough really. We borrow money to pay the mortgage and I'm ashamed about that. We were doing so well this year at the beginning then CROHNS hits me in th face and knocks me down in the mud. I can't work, barely pass my college classes for my BS, barely able to cook food for my girls, barely able to take them anywhere. They have been in the house all summer. I feel terrible for it but the heat makes me see stars and throw up. I weigh a terrible 110lbs, on a 5'7 frame. I can count my ribs, see every detail in every bone. Been to the ER a few times to be hooked up to an IV and asked 20 times if I'm pregnant, and then wow not pregnant, released. My ex, my oldest daughter's father, his dad has been real nauseous too and gave me his zofran and it helps when I feel nauseous. They even went out and bought me a magic bullet and stuff for smooties. It was very sweet and I cried b/c they don't have to be so nice. My mother states Ilook like I have cancer or I'm dying. I have to agree I do look like I'm dying, I have dark circles under my eyes, I never get dressed unless I have to be somewhere, I look a mess.

I have to sick to microwave lunch, or wash the dishes, if I even feel like doing the dishes. I can't seem to get any house work done b/c I'm so weak and tired. I can't pick up my 4 yrs old anymore, and my 2 yr old is getting hard to hold too. That makes me cry. I've tried to apply for tenncare, they denied me. Tried free clinics, they said no b/c I have no job and not married. I have no where to turn. My future mother in law offered to pay my current past due bill at the GI and my ex's mother offered to pay for a dr's visit and tests whatever they said. I feel guilty needing the help but I need it. I don't know what else to do. I applied for SSDI, went to a phsyc eval, and a physcial. They called for more medical records which I don't have b/c I can't see the doctor till they are paid off and I have literally no money. All of this makes me wanna cry!:ylol:

I think I have an abscess growing, i have a fissure too. I sweat every night I sleep. I've been getting up in the middle of the night more often to shit. It just seems hopeless. I just want to be healthy again. I want someone to tell me I'm gonna be okay. It's exhausting. Worrying, crying, holding it all in. Hell the other day I cried for an hour b/c I bottle all my sadness in. Ughh.

Sorry so long had to get it out.
 
HI There, and welcome to the forum . i am sorry about the dilemma your in, I know how it feels to be in pain all the time. i am now in a flare up and can't seem to get it under control even though i am on predisone and other medications for the inflammation. Are you taking anything for the pain? Have you blood work test done yet to check for deficiencys in your Vitamin B12 and iron levels? This could cause fatigue and tiredness. I hope you feel better soon.:rosette2: best regards.

scott
 
Thanks. I do have iron def, and I take just tylenol. Because I have no insurance I can't afford prescriptions. So I just take the tylenol, mulitvitamin, b12 and b6. And the zofran given to me when needed. I try to drink boosts or ensures to get the extra calories but they seem to hurt my stomach sometimes.
 
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you're in this situation right now. It's unfair. Medical care exists, and yet you don't have access to it. That's wrong.

And when you feel sick, it's overwhelming.

Please accept the help offered to you by your future mother-in-law and your ex's mother. They have an interest in keeping you well, and you have an obligation to your children to accept this help if it's offered. You can't let guilt or remorse be a reason to decline this help.

Get the medical care you need. If they're helping to pay for it, then do it. Your life may depend on it, and you have children to care for and to be well for.

Sometimes, a good GI doc will be willing to cut the amount you owe by half when you pay off your bill. That may help. You won't know until you ask, and if you are not in the best frame of mind, then perhaps the one who is going to pay it for you will call the office manager and make the arrangements. Might save some money that way.

There are programs out there to help pay for prescriptions. I'll look some up for you later, likely tomorrow (I don't have time just now). Abbott offers a year's worth of free Humira in some cases. At there very least, maybe one of these kind women would help pay for Prednisone. Even without insurance, that's a fairly cheap drug, and it might help you gain weight and get some stamina back.

You must get medical care. These women are going to help you get this care. I'm so sorry you're hurting so badly and so thin and so weak. If IBD goes untreated, it can get bad. I hope you'll get into care very soon and get on meds to help. I hope you don't have an abscess.

(It's okay if kids spend a summer inside because Mom is sick. A sick mom is better than no mom, and children growing up with a parent who has Crohn's learn a sense of compassion that children of healthy parents don't often learn.)

Please let us know how you're doing. Good luck to you and your family.
 
Hi Akanderson. I feel so bad that you can't get the nedical help that you need. Have they treated you for your abscess/fistula at the ER? I have been going through a lot of the same emotions and tiredness, as my UC is really flaring badly now. I have two young daughters also. You have to take care of yourself to be able to take care of them, so don't feel bad that you are trying to rest now. They need you to be healthy and rest. I hope that you can get some medical care soon. It looks like raindrop has some good suggestions.
 
I always remember those in my thoughts who are doing worse than me! I have been very low at times as well and its hard to remember those times do eventually pass.

Hope things turn around for you soon!
 
Well remember lots of us have been to that breaking point. I have, and mine was terrible! I currently go to a clinical trial GI office and they're the best!
I was taking a infusion once every two weeks and have been improving. I'm in remission now since last Tuesday. Been in the study for two months now. These places usually offers free meds. Like Lialda. So there's hope. I don't pay for anything.
Other than this, I'm pretty sure there's a way to get the meds and medical help we need since our condition is a serious condition that needs medical attention. Don't feel like you can't get the help you need if you aren't getting it now. I felt that way so many times and yeah when I had to pay out of pocket too. The ER at general hospitals sucks! I've been there 4 times while i was working because i was losing so much blood and they couldn't help to give me drugs to stop the bleeding, i had to wait for my first follow up visit since my colonoscopy and wait for them to give me drugs. That ended up costing a hell of a lot of money for blood transfusion, meds and hospital stay. I wanted to die seeing how the ER didn't HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Try your best, your kids well be so grateful for all you've been doing.
 
Thanks ya'll. I was talking to my mother today and she suggested going to see my GP. I have bee in a "battle" with the GI office. They haven't returned my calls about getting a letter about me having Crohns for the pre existing condition insurance and I don't know why. I am going to call the GP office tomorrow to see if they will see me and see if they can maybe get me on Prednisone or something. I can't get a hold of my future mother in law and I just really want to see a doctor this week if I can. Tired of looking in the mirror seeing bones, ya know. I have a full week of my oldest going to kindergarten all week and ballet tomorrow. I need the energy. And if someone can pay for me to see a doctor other than the ER which never help then I'm taking it. You all are right, I want to be healthy for my girls. Just hard when you hit that wall. But I think it is a good idea. My GP is always very helpful and friendly.

As for meds, I found out I qualify for a CoverRX program in TN and am printing it out tonight to fill out. It covers alot of the meds for GI problems and prednisone. Yay. Gotta just get that done. And I found a assistance program for the Pentasa too. Have to have a doctor fill out part of it. Hopefully my GP can fill that out. Cross you fingers and toes for me.

And thank you for the support. It is really a big help.
 
I can't add anything to the medical advice already given but I realise how lucky others like me are to get good medical service. You obviously have that fight on your hands too as well as the disease itself.

Never lose faith in yourself, you display the nobility of courage. We all have overwhelming days but they do pass. Tell you family and friends calmly how this is a serious disease which affects us all differently. Take their help in whatever way it is offered.

Come back to the website you will not have anything except empathy and support.
 
If you're feeling too sick to look into this, maybe someone at home can help. Perhaps you already know about this. Tennessee participates in a state pharmaceutical assistance program. Details:

http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=14334#TN-d

TENNESSEE
Cover Rx (discounts)
Cover Rx was enacted into law in 2006 as part of a broader state health coverage package. The prescription drug discount component applies to any drug not on the CoverRx formulary. Generic drugs on the formulary are covered by a sliding scale subsidy [see Cover Rx-subsidy above]. CoverRx was launched in January 2007.
Eligibility
Any Tennessee resident of at least six months between the ages of 19 to 64, who is a US resident or qualified alien, with an income at or below 250% of poverty level, and with no prescription drug coverage may be eligible. A single person household income level must be under $27,225 and a couple must be under $36,775. Costs to participate vary according to income level. For covered generics, a 30 or 90 day supply for a person below the federal poverty level is $3; a person between FPL and 149% of FPL pays $5 for a 30 day supply and $10 for a 90 day supply; and participants between 150% to 250% of FPL pay $8 per prescription for a 30 day supply or $16 for a 90 day supply.
Disabilities coverage No, unless otherwise qualified as uninsured or underinsured. See Eligibility above
Benefits Over 250 medications are included within the pharmacy assistance program. There is a five script limit per month, however, insulin and diabetic supplies do not count against the limit. Beneficiaries receive discounts on any drug above the five script limit or any drug not covered by the program.
Medicare wrap around No; Not a qualified SPAP; payments do not count toward TrOOP.
# of beneficiaries
26,548 (as of 8/29/07)
State laws
Signed 6/12/06. Operational Jan. 2, 2007
Special features & issues Cover Rx combines features of a discount-only program with features of a subsidy (SPAP) program. It is part of a 5-part health program called "Cover Tennessee." The formulary list is administered by ExpressScripts.
Other Rx programs Yes, there is also a subsidy part of Cover RX, see above.
Contact & online information
Cover TN telephone: 1-866-CoverTN;
Cover Rx http://www.covertn.gov/web/cover_rx.html
Application: http://www.covertn.gov/web/coverrx_app_english.pdf
Sources: Cover Rx Website; NCSL summary of law Updated: 9/13/2007; 5/2009; 6/2011
 
oops, I feel sort of stupid, now. You already found out about this and have printed out your application. Well. That's what I get for not reading carefully before posting.

At any rate, I'm happy for you to have the chance for help with your meds. I'll be even happier when I find out you've gotten a doctor to help get you well, too.

If you could get something like Humira, there's a good chance you'll get your life back. You could gain weight, have the fistula/fissure/abscess heal, and have strength and stamina for your little children. I sure hope you can get on the right med to regain your health.

Don't give up. It's a hard, difficult struggle. When you look at your little ones, do it for them. Life can get easier. Hang in there.
 
It's still appreciated raindrop.

Update: I talked to my future mother in law today and we are going tomorrow to pay my dr off. And schedule an appt. She said if he knows how bad I am she's sure he can do something for me. And part of the battle is he doesnt know how bad shape I am in. Which is true, I mean when I cried to the billing department I'm sure they didn't tell him. Anyways. That's good news. Hopefully I can get in soon to see him. Pray for me ya'll.
 
Another quick update, I got my GI bill paid today. Then trying to schedule an appt was not possible apparently. No one answered the phone the 7 times I called left a message finally called back missed it called them back and the dang answer service was on and hour before they supposedly close. WTF! Calling first thing in the am after I drop my daughter off at kindergarten. Hopefully I can get in to see him next week. I am probably gonna go off too b/c they have been giving me nothing but grief about my insurance note, getting a hold of someone to pay them, and now to get a dang appt. I JUST NEED HELP PEOPLE! Ugh!

Wish me luck!
 
I can't offer much assitance other than to say that your post touched me. Hang in there, there is help out there...somewhere. You are in my thoughts. I hope you are able to get healthy real soon and have a wonderful, and happy wedding. Best of luck to you!
 
I am also very touched by your suffering.
Is it possible for you to find a more caring GI and Office staff?
Hope you will soon get the proper financial support you so desperately need., and that you will feel better.
Lots of hugs
Trysha
 
Thank you for the support.

I finally got a hold of the appt desk today. I have an appt on the 19th. It was as soon as he could see me. So, hopefully i'll have a good two weeks till then. I already know that I'm gonna request the predinsone, and ask about Humira. I'm on my way to better as my mother in law said. :) Just hope I have better weeks in the next two weeks. Today's been rough.
 
HI Akanderson, i am very glad you have finally have a doctors appt. and i hope you will have a good two weeks till then sending my very best wishes.

scott
 
I am very touched by your story. Wow! I send you courage. This summer, I was pennyless and the disease was acting up (probably due to the stress caused by the financial situation). I ended up in the hospital and got better. I live in Canada. It's free. I remember telling my boyfriend that it would be terrible to have to pay for all of this and, there you are, living the nightmare. My heart is with you. I think you're doing the right thing by accepting all the help offered to you.

It is very nice to read that you are going forward in the problem solving! I know that it can be very overwhelming. Especially when you have no energy.

I sincerely wish you the best care and look at those ribs, I hope you will never see them again!

Renée
 
I hope you can get Humira. You ought to expect lab draws and a prescription of something to help you quickly. Diagnostic tests are really expensive and can wait until your health plan kicks in. At least ask the doc if you can wait until then.

I know you're frustrated. The whole system is unfair and unjust. You shouldn't have to suffer as much as you have. Medicine is out there. Care is out there. And it's not fair that you can't have it without insurance.

You'll get more help from your doctor and his office staff, I think, if you don't go off on them. If you cannot stand these people, you can explore switching doctors down the line. Right now, though, it looks as though you're stuck with this lot. So make the best of it and try not to go off on them.

I'm wishing you the best of luck and hope, hope, hope you'll be feeling better soon.
 
Hi AK - I just wanted to pop in to say good luck. I hope you can hang in there until the 19th, but if you feel too sick, scream and cry and see if they can get you in sooner. If you are running a fever or anything that seems like an infection or abcess, let them know right away!

I hope you get some meds to make you feel better very soon. Keep us posted.

- Amy
 
Hi AK sorry you've been having such a nightmare. I hope now that with some light on the horizon that you can de stress a little bit. The extra stress certainly wont help with the IBD even though of course you will know this already. I agree with Raindrop to not say too much to your GI if you have to stick with him for a while. Just get what you need from him and then explore other avenues to find someone better then you can say this to him :kissgrits: :ylol: You sound like you are a really strong person and by the sounds of it you are really doing your upmost to help yourself and therefore help your family. There is nothing more you can do, your doing great. I really hope it goes well for you but dont keep it bottled in and try to cope alone as this will only knot your stomach more. Let it out (the crying i mean, although let the rest out as well :rof:), get rid of it and then you will be able to press on. Best of luck and thinking of you. :well:
 
Good luck AK, thoughts from many are with you, remember the beauty if this forum is we share experience/emotion that our family are unable too so it always helps to spill your thoughts and feelings on here.

Keep your chin up and
 
....don't hit send before your finished typing the post. Damn IPhone app. :)

We all hit low points, hits how we deal and get through them that defines us!

Take care and good luck for the 19th..... X
 

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