I just don't feel myself anymore

[paragraph]

:depressed:

I used to love cooking, breakfast especially.
I used to love photography.
I used to love hanging out with friends.

Now my hair is falling out.
I don't want to even think about picking up my camera.
I don't want to talk to my friends.
And ever morning i end up eating Captain Crunch because it's just much less of a hassle than making eggs, or pancakes, or whatever (and i love pancakes).

I really don't know if it's the fact that i'm healing from surgery, or if it's that the enormity of my situation is bringing me down, or if it's something else. When i think about the prospect of bieng on an anti-depressant, i just get more depressed.

I was depressed at the hospital, but i figured that once i left the hospital it would go away, and it seemed like it did, but last night it all seemed to come back to me.

I get very anxious too, before i went in this would happen from time to time, but it seems to be happening more and more now.

How did you decide that enough was enough and it wasn't going to go away on it's own?

 

[Bob82984]

Hey,
I know what you mean, I see you've only been out of the hospital for a little while though. Give it some time until you are completely healed and you can physically do everything you did before. You'll come around and start feeling back to your normal self.

 

[Jerman]

uff

:depressed:

I used to love cooking, breakfast especially.
I used to love photography.
I used to love hanging out with friends.

Now my hair is falling out.
I don't want to even think about picking up my camera.
I don't want to talk to my friends.
And ever morning i end up eating Captain Crunch because it's just much less of a hassle than making eggs, or pancakes, or whatever (and i love pancakes).

I really don't know if it's the fact that i'm healing from surgery, or if it's that the enormity of my situation is bringing me down, or if it's something else. When i think about the prospect of bieng on an anti-depressant, i just get more depressed.

I was depressed at the hospital, but i figured that once i left the hospital it would go away, and it seemed like it did, but last night it all seemed to come back to me.

I get very anxious too, before i went in this would happen from time to time, but it seems to be happening more and more now.

How did you decide that enough was enough and it wasn't going to go away on it's own?

Hey Para,

Welcome to the forum. I have also struggled with both depression and anxiety. One of the first ways that i have found to determine whether I am out of my league is to ask how it affects my life. You have already done this above and certainly are aware of what things you are excluding yourself from.

The diseases and conditions that we all deal with hear on the forum seem to have a few things in common regardless of the diagnosis. 1. There is a feeling of loss of control. 2. There is always the reminder either by family, friends, or the mighty mailbox that life is going on around us and has things we need to tend to.
3. You may feel like crap because of the total lack of control of your health and situation.

For me, this is the first time in my life that i have had a condition that i have not been able to simply push and stubborn my way through. Honestly, I have struggled with depression at different times in my life and know that is just a part of me right now. It is a part of me that i need pharmaceutical intervention for in order to stay at a managable level. I had never had major issues with anxiety until March, when my own trials with abdominal issues began.

Due to my own set of circumstances and challenges, I am know on more medicine for my depression and anxiety than I am for my IBD (diagnoses by default). Being unemployed, not feeling well, and facing the real possibility of losing my families home, my wife having severe fibromyalgia. These are all things that are a big factor in my life that I cannot impact in the way that I wish I could. These issues may be enough just one at a time to overwhelm, but when they coincide timing wise it can feel like getting punched continually and alternately in the face and gut.

I know the stigma you may be feeling about going on medicine for what you feel is anxiety and depression. "I should be strong enough to handle this, I am not weak." Was the way that I initially looked at myself when I first dealt with these emotionally painful issues. I now know that for me, these issues are just a part of the deal for now, and that if I am to survive and hopefully at some point, even thrive for both myself and my wife and kids, this is the way i need to go. I heard a recent survey that stated that one in three americans are on some form of anti-depressant or anti-anxiety.

Please try to be patient with yourself if you do go for the medicinal treatment, it can often take several weeks for a medicine of this type to get into your system and begin to work. Ask the Doc about side effects are some of the pills have some really screwy side effects.

If you have time to review old posts you can see in mine that depression, pain, and anxiety have been my biggest challenge. I have been blessed with a wife that is a loyal, persistent, and funny woman. She seems to know (most of the time) whether I need a shoulder or a kick in the butt to get through. I constantly tell my kids that they need to be tenacious in life and believe in themselves. They definitely understand that concept as they have thrown it back at me when needed.

Para, feel free to pm me or send an email if I can be of any help at all, or if you just need to vent. Good luck to you and please talk to your physician asap as the sooner you address these two issues the quicker you can get back to being more like yourself.

 

[MarkyB86]

Hey brother recovering from surgery does make you not really want to do anything, but so does the crohns at times. I get up early as hell now to take my first dose of medicine and I'm up till about 1-2am. My motivation in the morning is just to take the medicine early so I can take the 2nd dose earlier then later (pretty sad huh). But keep your head up! once your fully recovered is when you should worry about the motivation though. I know for a fact I just dont want to do stuff either. I like photography also and I havent been doing it at all (or cutting the grass and things like that LOL)
It's all just how you look at things I guess. I get up and eat graham crackers and milk after my meds because I dont want to cook either. But I figure I'm out of bed so I just do whatever I can or feel like. I hope you get energy and motivation back soon because its harder to deal with the disease when you feel like that.

sorry for the long blab run on sentances

 

[drew_wymore]

Hey P we know how you feel. Hopefully you'll recover quickly and things will start looking up for you.

 

[nogutsnoglory]

It's really hard we all feel ya and are in the same boat. You just gotta keep working to figure out whats rights meds and diet wise and get into remission and your life will be back to normal.

 

[paragraph]

I've definitely had small bouts of depression and anxiety before, but isn't that just part of life for everyone?

I'm going to see how it goes, not make any decisions (unless i'm feeling really rotten) until i talk to my GI (not that he's a therapist or anything).

 

[imisspopcorn]

I'm sorry your having a hard time. it's hard not to become depressed while dealing with chronic pain and fatigue. I'm on a SSRI. There are serotonin receptors in the gut, so SSRI's can help in that way as well. Here is an interesting article about the effects of serotonin on the gut.I hope you feel better.

http://recall.uniontrib.com/uniontrib/20051005/news_1c05brain.html

 

[AmandaC]

I hope you feel better soon. I agree that once you recover from the surgery and feel a little more like yourself again things will get better.

I have found talking to a therapist really helpful for things like anxiety and depression. Do you have any other support people in your life? I found just having my husband around to give me encouragement along the way has been really helpful.

Good luck with it all! Take care of yourself as you heal from surgery and don't be too hard on yourself about how you are feeling. It is normal.

 

[D Bergy]

Hello,

I do not post much any more because I have other things going on, and I have control of my disease.

I am sorry you are going on with depression and anxiety, but it is my opinion, based on personal experience and other evidence that these two mental problems are directly connected to the disease.

When treating my Crohn's post surgery, I stumbled on to a cure for my depression by accident. I was self treating using anti-inflammatory supplements to buy me time until I could figure out the likely cause of the disease, and find a better treatment.

By taking 1,000 mg of both Turmeric and Ginger capsules, twice a day and taking a double dose of Krill Oil, my depression disappeared. It was quite surprising since I was not treating depression. It also helped my Crohn's symptoms, but not a complete solution by any means.

Chronic inflammation affects the brain directly, so contrary to my former belief that it was hereditary, it turned out that inflammation was the direct cause. I also stopped my supplements and my depression came back. I could eliminate the depression by reducing the inflammation, and I could bring it back by increasing it.

Another aspect of the disease is the bacteria that populates your intestinal tract. Most of your Serotonin in your body is produced in the intestinal tract, not the brain. Your intestinal tract is directly tied to your brain function, as odd as that sounds. The better shape your intestinal tract is in, the better your brain function is.

Eating sugary cereal daily by anyone is likely the most destructive habit that most of use have done, in my opinion. Sugar breeds fungus, anaerobic bacteria and promotes poor general health. For the long run of health, sugar needs to be limited to occasional use. It never has been a major part of the human diet until relatively recently, and I think that is a good indication that we are not designed to eat nearly as much as we do.

Sugar also makes the body acidic which promotes far more serious disease in the long run. Cancer thrives in an acidic, anaerobic body.

This is what I have learned in my investigation of Crohn's disease, and other diseases. We all have to do what we think is right, so I just throw it out there for consideration. There are still plenty of things I have not figured out, but I am confident that the above is more or less correct.

Good Luck

Dan

 

[bella_sky]

(((((hugs))))) Paragraph!!

You're not alone, I felt like I was disappearing from my life for the last few months. Recently idk but now I feel like this must be for a reason and I look forward to realizing that reason, and I'm not very patient so I will probably be back to hating things shortly lol. Ugh the Physical and emotional rollercoaster!!