Hi everyone,
I have had moderate Crohn's Disease for over 13 years now and while I've had plenty of ups and downs, I was doing fairly well over the last 3 years after changing my diet and going on Remicade. My anxiety has always dipped and peaked along with my flareups, but for the most part, it's been manageable.
However, over the last month and a half my anxiety related to Crohn's has skyrocketed and at all times, I feel like I could start immediately crying, and I'm completely terrified when I'm anywhere besides my own home.
I think it started with a few triggering moments in which I had a very sudden and urgent bowel movement but was on the highway and/or somewhere in public without a bathroom, and in those minutes before I could get to the bathroom, I was shaking, terrified, and in an absolutely panic about having an accident.
My doctor has done plenty of tests and everything looks normal –my health is probably the same as before (pretty good except for the standard urgent BM's that are just a part of Crohn's even when you're healthy.) So she thinks the problem is mostly psychological and I do too, but that's not making it any easier to deal with.
I'm anxious at all times in public and having the hardest time right now walking or going anywhere. I live in a city which makes it even harder, as many public places are weird about you using their bathroom. And I've had a couple harrowing moments on the subway. Yesterday, I was in a train car and it inexplicably stopped for about ten minutes. I wasn't scared that I was in danger, but the feeling of being trapped in a car with no exit and no bathroom in sight is what completely terrified me - I had to put my head in my lap and do breathing exercises and just pray that I didn't have an accident in that crowded space. I'm not overexagerating when I say I felt like I was in hell for those ten minutes.
Has anyone gone through this, particularly the transportation fears? I'm mostly just looking to talk to people who truly get this and understand it. My family has been absolutely supportive and loving, but it's hard when they don't truly understand what it's like. I'm normally a very self-sufficient, active, and focused person, but at all times right now I feel weepy, overly sensitive, anxious, and terrified. I'm going to start counseling, but the earliest I could get in was in a month from now, so as of right now I'm just looking for advice and people to talk to so that I feel less isolated and like I'm not alone.
Thanks and I wish you all the greatest health in the world. Xoxo.
I have had moderate Crohn's Disease for over 13 years now and while I've had plenty of ups and downs, I was doing fairly well over the last 3 years after changing my diet and going on Remicade. My anxiety has always dipped and peaked along with my flareups, but for the most part, it's been manageable.
However, over the last month and a half my anxiety related to Crohn's has skyrocketed and at all times, I feel like I could start immediately crying, and I'm completely terrified when I'm anywhere besides my own home.
I think it started with a few triggering moments in which I had a very sudden and urgent bowel movement but was on the highway and/or somewhere in public without a bathroom, and in those minutes before I could get to the bathroom, I was shaking, terrified, and in an absolutely panic about having an accident.
My doctor has done plenty of tests and everything looks normal –my health is probably the same as before (pretty good except for the standard urgent BM's that are just a part of Crohn's even when you're healthy.) So she thinks the problem is mostly psychological and I do too, but that's not making it any easier to deal with.
I'm anxious at all times in public and having the hardest time right now walking or going anywhere. I live in a city which makes it even harder, as many public places are weird about you using their bathroom. And I've had a couple harrowing moments on the subway. Yesterday, I was in a train car and it inexplicably stopped for about ten minutes. I wasn't scared that I was in danger, but the feeling of being trapped in a car with no exit and no bathroom in sight is what completely terrified me - I had to put my head in my lap and do breathing exercises and just pray that I didn't have an accident in that crowded space. I'm not overexagerating when I say I felt like I was in hell for those ten minutes.
Has anyone gone through this, particularly the transportation fears? I'm mostly just looking to talk to people who truly get this and understand it. My family has been absolutely supportive and loving, but it's hard when they don't truly understand what it's like. I'm normally a very self-sufficient, active, and focused person, but at all times right now I feel weepy, overly sensitive, anxious, and terrified. I'm going to start counseling, but the earliest I could get in was in a month from now, so as of right now I'm just looking for advice and people to talk to so that I feel less isolated and like I'm not alone.
Thanks and I wish you all the greatest health in the world. Xoxo.
