Completely agree re the 'decisions' ! Since my son was diagnosed, there have been many times I feel that I'm been asked to make decisions about things that I am totally unqualified, uninformed and unprepared to make! But, all we can do is make the best decisions we can!
Re the shakes... she doesn't like even the Carnation Breakfast? When my kids were younger, they both liked these shakes. I used to gave it to them just as a nutritional boost a couple of times per week. Can she have milk? As the shakes were a bit thick (or heavy), I would sometimes dilute them with milk... Maybe that would make it a bit easier for her. (Or frozen like a popsicle??)
P.S. I always bought the Carnation Breakfast already prepared in the can(not the powder), so when I say I diluted with milk, I mean I diluted the already prepared drink with 'more' milk...