just found this last night...
Hello my name is Stephen and this is my first time joining any type of forum. I have been depressed lately due to feeling extremely alone so I figured it would be good to connect with others who know my pain. I was diagnosed when I was ten years old (im now 22). I am currently going through a mild flair up and Im not on any meds because the maintainance drugs didnt work and I was having flair ups still while I was on them that were just as severe as when I wasnt on them (so what good were they for me really?). Ive been on Pentasa, two or three kinds of antibiotics, 6MP, Humira (which literally started driving me mad for some reason), Remicade (extremely expensive and very harsh but has helped me in the past), prednisone (something I now refuse to take due to feeling poisoned or gross from it), and several painkillers that also make me feel poisoned (not sure what other word to use since I feel like my whole body is in dire need of getting the substance out and I feel so much nausea when I take them). I have an appointment with a gastroenterologist scheduled for October 5th and I of course am hoping he will have something new to help me. I got so desperate in the last few weeks that I got a medical marijuana license when I was living in California. My appetite increased greatly and my nausea and cramps went away. I moved back home to New Mexico (got detained for an hour in Yuma for having a pipe that I wasnt even trying to hide....didnt think a pipe without weed was illegal to have especially if you have medical papers with a doctors note but oh well I guess). Now that Im home I cant smoke around my parents so I am eating hardly anything, losing sleep, throwing up, losing weight, growing more depressed due to all of that, and I have no friends here in New Mexico to support me. Obviously marijuana wont cure me but its better than a lot of other drugs the doctors have given me....but I now am in need of something powerful I suppose...like remicade again maybe. Im actually thinking Marinol might not be bad to try while Im under some other kind of treatment. Each day that I wait for my appointment feels like five days to me. Im drinking tea with ginger in it and taking vitamins with nano technology to help but thats obviously not enough for a cronic disease right? I will literally take any substance that the doctor or any of you recommend to me. I would like to take a natural route to heal my body instead of just feeding it drugs that have really nasty side effects so Im looking for a new diet. It shouldnt be hard for me to adapt to one since I have really no desire to eat at the moment. Oh and I did see a gastroenterologist in San Diego and he was highly concerned and didnt seem to know what to do with me seeing as how Ive tried "all of the heavy hitters on the market for Crohns" so I left there feeling so sad and discouraged. I had a colonoscopy scheduled for tuesday but my family that I was staying with wouldnt loan me the money to get the go-lightly so I canceled and moved back home where I knew I wouldnt have such an issue again. So as I wait to start getting medical attention I suffer humbly knowing that I will get past this yet again no matter how long it takes and hopefully I can make a few friends here in this new chapter in my life. I know there are others far worse than me and I hope to be an encouragement to others as I start to make my recovery.
Thanks for reading this....it feels great to open up and to be understood
Hello my name is Stephen and this is my first time joining any type of forum. I have been depressed lately due to feeling extremely alone so I figured it would be good to connect with others who know my pain. I was diagnosed when I was ten years old (im now 22). I am currently going through a mild flair up and Im not on any meds because the maintainance drugs didnt work and I was having flair ups still while I was on them that were just as severe as when I wasnt on them (so what good were they for me really?). Ive been on Pentasa, two or three kinds of antibiotics, 6MP, Humira (which literally started driving me mad for some reason), Remicade (extremely expensive and very harsh but has helped me in the past), prednisone (something I now refuse to take due to feeling poisoned or gross from it), and several painkillers that also make me feel poisoned (not sure what other word to use since I feel like my whole body is in dire need of getting the substance out and I feel so much nausea when I take them). I have an appointment with a gastroenterologist scheduled for October 5th and I of course am hoping he will have something new to help me. I got so desperate in the last few weeks that I got a medical marijuana license when I was living in California. My appetite increased greatly and my nausea and cramps went away. I moved back home to New Mexico (got detained for an hour in Yuma for having a pipe that I wasnt even trying to hide....didnt think a pipe without weed was illegal to have especially if you have medical papers with a doctors note but oh well I guess). Now that Im home I cant smoke around my parents so I am eating hardly anything, losing sleep, throwing up, losing weight, growing more depressed due to all of that, and I have no friends here in New Mexico to support me. Obviously marijuana wont cure me but its better than a lot of other drugs the doctors have given me....but I now am in need of something powerful I suppose...like remicade again maybe. Im actually thinking Marinol might not be bad to try while Im under some other kind of treatment. Each day that I wait for my appointment feels like five days to me. Im drinking tea with ginger in it and taking vitamins with nano technology to help but thats obviously not enough for a cronic disease right? I will literally take any substance that the doctor or any of you recommend to me. I would like to take a natural route to heal my body instead of just feeding it drugs that have really nasty side effects so Im looking for a new diet. It shouldnt be hard for me to adapt to one since I have really no desire to eat at the moment. Oh and I did see a gastroenterologist in San Diego and he was highly concerned and didnt seem to know what to do with me seeing as how Ive tried "all of the heavy hitters on the market for Crohns" so I left there feeling so sad and discouraged. I had a colonoscopy scheduled for tuesday but my family that I was staying with wouldnt loan me the money to get the go-lightly so I canceled and moved back home where I knew I wouldnt have such an issue again. So as I wait to start getting medical attention I suffer humbly knowing that I will get past this yet again no matter how long it takes and hopefully I can make a few friends here in this new chapter in my life. I know there are others far worse than me and I hope to be an encouragement to others as I start to make my recovery.
Thanks for reading this....it feels great to open up and to be understood