Lazy and Anti-social?

[amw165]

Has anyone else been labelled or called lazy or anti social? Sometimes I just cant do it all, I work three jobs and when I get home I need rest, even if im not sleeping I need to sit and relax and have sometimes been called lazy, or when i am out with people I am not as talkative because I dont have that much strength so I have been called anti-social. Not many people know about my Crohn's all they know is I'm always sick, even though they say I dont look sick sometimes, and quite frankly I do not want to waste the little energy I have trying to explain it to those judgemental people. Has anyone else been labelled these things and how did you deal with it?

 

[Junot]

ofcourse, I think there was a thread up yesterday on almost the same thing. I stick with my friends that understand and I only go out when I WANNA no pressuring me to do nothing. I feel guilty but you gotta make the best choices for yourself. If I really need to I light up a jay tell them to come over hang out than I explain whatsup.

Also I come from a strict portuguese old-style family who still just think its all in my head and just tell me to shut up and work, its hard to tell them to go away or eff off but you gotta do what you gotta do.

one of my friends is really cool about it and always offers me rides home WHENEVER I need, that helps.

 

[Entchen]

Hey, neighbour! Only been accused of those things by an *abusive* former employer, and I dealt with it by getting the heck out of that environment (and the employer had to leave the university, too!).

So sorry that you're hearing negative things. I try to just stick to myself at home when I'm unwell and then muster every bit of energy possible (get a few hours extra sleep beforehand, etc.) when I attend social functions. So they know I'm not going out as often but I do my best to be higher energy and ready to participate in the fun when I'm out. I also try to go to shorter events instead of all-evening things things since my energy does drop quite quickly and often very suddenly.

I also try to give myself a few hours at home in between work and social events whenever possible. Like you, I quietly sit on the couch and don't talk or do housework -- I just rest and allow the energy to return.

I also push myself at the gym to develop extra endurance, so even if I am falling asleep as least my body is able to keep moving. I don't have the endurance of my pre-Crohn's days but I can pull out 25 kms or so on a bike despite some aches (and pain in my side - waiting on a diagnostic MRI) and that's a major improvement over where I was last year.

And, last, I invite people to come to my home more often. When my energy is low, it's easier to clean and throw a casserole in the oven than it is to go out to a restaurant or to someone else's house.

 

[ameslouise]

With three jobs, I am surprised anyone would call you lazy. And if they are calling you "anti-social" for not talking to them when you are out.... well, maybe you would be more talkative if the company was a little more interesting and a little less judgemental....

Don't hang out with people that make you feel like crap. I know that's easier said than done, but you don't need people in your life that are not true friends. And if they are true friends, tell them about your disease, and they will understand.

Hang in there! - Amy

 

[Keona]

ya...what she (Amy) said...

I get a lot of people not understanding my diet restrictions and hear them saying "Oh..just eat it" or one time I was told to stay offline by a friend because "reading about symptoms will make my symptoms worse"...
funny considering I havent really spoken to her much about this at all... a big assumption on her part.
I think it makes people feel helpless and worried so they react in anger... not right at all but thats the only theory I can think of. My friend isnt a bad person so thats my only conclusion. I just wont talk to her about things anymore and look to more supportive people.

 

[teeny5]

No one has directly called me lazy or anti social, but I know that I would rather stay home most times than go out. I like lounging around the house on my days off. My ideal vacation is one where I get to sleep a lot. My co-workers, friends and even my mom don't get it, but who cares? You are who you are...do what makes you happy.

 

[Mister_Hotspur]

When i first read this i thought i had sleep posted it myself!

Since my op last year, i havent been out very much with my friends, my closest friends understand this but some dont. Some of the times when ive been out i havent been very talkative and at work when my colleagues are joking around and chatting i dont always join in and they probably think im anti social and miserable because of this. I dont blame them too much since they dont know about all of my problems but it is disapointing for people to judge you a certain way. The conversation certainly doesnt help sometimes, people chatting about the places theyve been on nights out, restaurants and bars (when you cant), going out and getting wasted (when you cant) and talking about fancy cuisines (which you cant really contribute much to because all you eat is bland foods). I thought it was social anxiety before but i think tiredness and frustration is the major contrubuting factor.

I get the lazy part too, when i get home from work i normally just go and lie down on the sofa or my bed in front of the tv or with my laptop, if i was a normal healthy person id be considered a couch potato but its just my way of recharging.

I would like to explain it to people so they understood it but where i am i think id be considered a martyr!

 

[peaceandsmile]

With three jobs, I am surprised anyone would call you lazy. And if they are calling you "anti-social" for not talking to them when you are out.... well, maybe you would be more talkative if the company was a little more interesting and a little less judgemental....

Don't hang out with people that make you feel like crap. I know that's easier said than done, but you don't need people in your life that are not true friends. And if they are true friends, tell them about your disease, and they will understand.

Hang in there! - Amy

I have to completely agree with Amy, why hang around with such people who bias against you when you do not deserve such treatment! After that much work, I am not surprised you are worn out and would like to relax, its only natural I would think. I worked in one job and was tired enough plus doing housework after, but to have three, I cannot even imagine! Usually I am not very talkative myself, but people I know accept that and do not judge that I am an "anti-social' because of it. :\ Once again agreeing, tell your friends if they are really good friends about your problem, they should understand. I told almost all of my closest friends about it and they accept that I have such a disease; though those who know don't really know how to react to it most of the time, but feel bad. Anyway, best of luck to you and all the best.

kisses, Aya

 

[Lee]

First things first for me--anyone who calls you lazy because you have down/depressed days, weeks or months is abusing you and I would personally limit the amount of time I spent with them. As we all know this disease also takes a lot out of you physically not just mentally.

Similarly, no one should be calling you "Anti-social" unless you exhibit 3 or more of the following behaviors: http://pn.psychiatryonline.org/content/39/1/25.2.full
LOL, seriously.