Limericks to choose from

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What are you doing tonight IMP?
You certainly are no wimp
Typing and talking
Are you out walking?
One things for sure, yo rhymes certainly aren't limp.
 
I am listening to the rain pour
Oh, I know I'm a bore
Thankfully the roof is sound
If not, my husband's head I would have to pound
I use to come home to wet floors
 
Trying to find something that rhymes with Pirate
It isn't easy, to find rhymes that fit
Working real hard
To catch you off guard
I think I'll stop, but I'll never quit!
 
There is a guy named Pirate
He is quite a riot
He comes up with thousands of stories
About all his glories
Just try to keep him quiet...

Pirate is hard to rhyme!!!!
 
I love the rain
Oh how I miss the drain
Seattle is awesome
Because everything will blossom
Including the grain!
 
imisspopcorn said:
There is a guy named Pirate
He is quite a riot
He comes up with thousands of stories
About all his glories
Just try to keep him quiet...

Pirate is hard to rhyme!!!!
Click to expand...
Very nice....High five!
 
IMP are you a redhead?
That being said
One more question to ask....
Is it quite a task?
To hide the hair shed?
 
No, I am a blonde
After the colorist waves her magic wand
Do you have a thing for red heads
Or do they cause you much dread?
How do you respond?
 
Redheads are so much fun
They make most men want to run
I like to see what they are made of
So I give them a little shove
The true Reds always push back, I'm done!
 
Limericks that are funny and sassy,
Cheer me up when I'm feelin gassy.
In february they scope,
No inflammation I hope.
Or I'll switch to a doc in Carnasie.
 
imisspopcorn said:
I am listening to the rain pour
Oh, I know I'm a bore
Thankfully the roof is sound
If not, my husband's head I would have to pound
I use to come home to wet floors
Click to expand...


SOB!....I jinxed myself....Just came home to 2 huge leaks...One is right over the computer thank you very much.... I need to go poke a hole in the other huge bubble that is in my brand new kitchen. If you see on the news that a frustrated housewife has killed her husband, please come bail me out.
 
Crud!! Between you and Farm...I'm not doing anything else tonight. Hopefully the bad energy will just end between you both and not spread to the rest of us! Hope it isn't too bad. Thank goodness it didn't short the computer!! I mean, the kitchen can rot - but the computer, now that is IMPORTANT ;)
 
Ha haa - just read where someone was asking about the WCC
I believe it was landshark and CC
Someone said it was between the left coast and the RIGHT
I was like - that IS right - the East Coasters ARE RIGHT!!
But I'm sure you WCC's won't just let that be....
 
I love thread very much
All the rhyming and such
All I need is a good laugh
So I thank this staff
All the different styles add just the right touch!
 
Yes my name is Pirate
When I'm typing I'm not very quiet
All the stories I've told
If I may be so bold,
Has cause more than one riot.
 
Hey there my swash buckling friend
I'm glad to see that trend
Stories are great you see
But they need to involve me
To have the right blend.
 
There once was a man named Mike
Who never was a very little tyke
That came to this thread
With not a word in his head
So no one really knows what he's like
 
Well hello everyone, My name is Mike
Once you meet me I'm sure you will like
I am a very big man
Who lost his tan
I did miss this thread when it was on strike!
 
lol Kev! You are very good!

I love that Kev is here
You rhyme with no fear
You rhyme with ladies names
Thankfully you don't go down in flames
Some of the best this year!
 
Mike lost his arm in the army
he lost his leg in the navy
He lost his ballllls
Over Cedar Falllls
And found them in the gravy


Not an original but I had to throw it in here.
 
Hey I like it very much
Its got balls and my name and such
Military rocks
Better than warm socks
But it always works in a clutch!
 
There once was guy named Kev
Writing dirty limericks made his engine rev
He met a Russian girl
And took her for a twirl
Now he resides in Kiev
 
I like ice tea
Especially when its free
No lemon
Not coming from Yemen
Just a little splenda for me
 
Sweet tea from Bojo's is my thang
Super sweet with a bit of lemon twang
But I can't have it anymore
Because the caffeine makes me run THROUGH the door
So I just sit and think "dang!"
 
Peaches tried going through the door
But bounced and hit the floor
When your running with Farm
Don't go in his barn
Cause he'll do more than his normal chore
 
Why go into Farms barn
When all he does is spin that yarn.
He'll look at you strange
When you suddenly change
Into a horse and nay, darn!
 
I'm a fan of the Pats, not the Jets,
But I sure like to see upsets.
Last week they beat the Bolts,
Now they're ahead of the Colts,
I love football...except when I lose my bets.
 
The Jets are looking good
Especially where they stood
The Colts are coming back
To lay down the smack
Are the Jets gonna win, I would.
 
Score is seventeen to thirteen
I think the Jets are wanting to be seen
This one's for Jerman
And it ain't a sermon
I'm just watching to see the rears and peen!
 
Peen? Like Peeing??

Colts over the Jets
That will be my bet
They are up by 10
Heading to the end
Hate it but Peyton is playing like a vet.
 
Peen...mmm...like what is on the opposite side of your BUTT that is within easy viewing if you are suited up in some tight football pants? Better known as part of your package. I guess I should have limerickitized that...I'm being lazy today ;o)
 
vshirey317 said:
Score is seventeen to thirteen
I think the Jets are wanting to be seen
This one's for Jerman
And it ain't a sermon
I'm just watching to see the rears and peen!
Click to expand...

Why else would you watch football????
 
No more job for me
Come February
I really don't care
No use pulling out my hair
What's in the future is what I wanna see!
 
I thought it wasn't until May
That you'd be flipping job hunting hay
Why February now
That's like - well, holy cow!
A job for you to find quickly is what I pray
 
This will be a fresh start for the Farm guy.
Sometimes we don't know why
But everything is for a reason
It is just the start of a new season
When it's over, he can hang his head high.
 
Yeah, the moved it up a few months.
I don't care!! I hope they lay me off and SOON!! I's gots a plan! :)

(No it ain't pimping!!)
 
Good luck to you Farm
Having a little time off could certainly do no harm
Looking for something new
And now totally out of the blue
It does help with all your charm!
 
Farm lost his job I heard,
And so soon that's so absurd,
Take my advice,
Do your best to be nice,
When you leave go flip them the bird.
 
I'll come work with you o
The Batfen and Spiderfarm dueo
We'll brokerage and bank
And buy us a tank
At night dressed like a hero.
 
We'd take on Wall Street,
against us nobody could compete.
Batman and Spidey,
our advice would be mighty,
then we'd drink beer made of hops and wheat.
 
Farm and Nessa will be livin' on govt. cheese
Public housing and food stamps, please
We're usually not so poor
But now it's time to go whore
Give me a pole cuz this mama's working as a strip tease
 
She'll make tons of money
Being a pole dancing bunny
With only one goal
As she use that pole
hoping this cramp doesn't turn runny
 
Hey I got in!
Where is ole Fen?
I can't post on many threads
I think they are dead
Withdrawls are starting to set in.
 
Fen is alive,
ready to limerick jive.
While the site was down,
I carried a frown,
Now it's back up...time to high five.
 
Fen's shut out again,
But replying on page #10,
I rhyme like I"m blind,
hope you don't mind,
It's like x-ray vision on Fen.
 
Bustin out rhymes in the dark,
Fen's hittin' it out of the park,
Ain't nothing hotter,
Than this globetrotter,
I'm the Brooklyn version of Harlem's Meadowlark.
 
I can't get my fix, no matter what I try
Withdrawl from the site is going to make me cry
An intervention is what is needed
My patience has exceeded
In order to post, you must be sly.
 
The site is finally back up, YES!
Now it's time to rhyme with the best
Let's lift our frown
And get down
Cuz the past two days were too much rest
 
I'm sitting here at my desk with eyebrow wax
Thinking of a good limerick wisecrack
My head is blank
I'm such a wank
Did I lose my ability to talk smack?
 
Fen makes fun of my girlie horomones
He's this close to getting broken bones
I'll give him a wedgie
I'm feeling quite edgie
Just don't poop on your undies due to Crohn's!
 
Yay - it's back up
Now we can go back to never shutting up
Blabbing all the time
Letting loose with a good rhyme
Glad the forum got a good checkup

Hopefully this beast decides to stay up for a while!
 
Nessa is kinda rough
Flexing her guns, proving she's tough
She'll knock you out with one shot
She does all exercises, 'cept squats
She likes to show off her stuff.
 
With Nessa I wouldn't want to wrangle
She'd leave me in a mangle
She does her own waxing
She says it's relaxing
Now her hair is free of tangles
 
She will give you the boot
Pulls her hair out by the root
Fights like a man
Drinks from the can
Just beware her nausious toot
 
This isn't a limerick, but o' how this makes me SQUEAL!

Four, tres, two, uno

Listen up y'all cause this is it
The beat that I'm bangin' is delicious

Fenalicious definition
Make them girls go loco
They want his treasure
So they get their pleasures from his photo

You can see him, you can't squeeze him
He ain't easy, he ain't sleazy
He got reasons why he tease 'em
Girls just come and go like seasons

Fenalicious
(So delicious)
But he ain't promiscuous
And if you was suspicious
All that shit is fictitious
 
Ris and I were talking about fighting stories last night. Man, you guys wouldn't even look at me the same if y'all knew some of the crap I've done, LOL.

Now I'm just a reformed bitch.
 
farm said:
I must be a reformed sumbitch then...
Click to expand...

You ain't reformed! You were talking about looking for a fight just a few weeks ago at the bar, so HA! Then again, maybe that doesn't count if you were too drunk to remember?
 
fenway1971 said:
Or hop in your hooptie and go to the po - po,
Maybe to the slammer he'll go,
Bubba will take care of the rest,
And no longer will he trouble Ness.
Unwanted manlove will teach him fo' sho'.
Click to expand...
Thats bad! LMAO
 
vshirey317 said:
Fen keeps his manwhore ways incognito
Swoonin' all the ladies with his big burrito
Batfen says, "NOW BITCHES"!
And all the ladies drop their britches
Rumor has it he's got a 20 year olds libido

It was impossible to write this with a straight face, LMAO
Click to expand...

:ylol2: :ylol2:

You win. I've been out-limericked.
 
fenway1971 said:
:ylol2: :ylol2:

You win. I've been out-limericked.
Click to expand...

Don't poon out now on me.

You may be on the dude team
But your rhymes are supreme
Let's see what you got
C'mon, you big shot
You'll probably think of a limerick mid pee stream
 
Do not submit
Never quit
You can overcome
(That in itself can be fun!)
Come back and give her some shit!
 
Where'd Fenny's limericking balls go?
Come back and put on a big ol' show
Your flows are sick
Making some need the heimlich
So think of some stuff and post it already, bro!
 
That will all end
With Farm in DC on a bend
We'll drink all night
Till we see the sunlight
Then start over a half past 10!
 
Fenessa in their matching stripes
We're more badass than Wesley Snipes
The doublemint twins
Lookin' at the camera lense
We had a blast and you won't hear no gripes
 
vshirey317 said:
Fenessa in their matching stripes
We're more badass than Wesley Snipes
The doublemint twins
Lookin' at the camera lense
We had a blast and you won't hear no gripes
Click to expand...
I've got that photo, LMAO
 
Fenessa in their matching stripes
It is not a bunch of hype
Those were prision suits
With stripes to boot
I bet you didn't know, they are the theiving type
 
Last edited:
Ness..i think you have missed your true calling. Now if we could just find a marketing angle for limericks you'd be set ;)
 
Peaches said:
Ness..i think you have missed your true calling. Now if we could just find a marketing angle for limericks you'd be set ;)
Click to expand...

OR BETTER YET, I can write specialized limericks on my 'pots'. Whatcha' think?!?

Ugh, okay I'll ditch the pot idea already ::sniffles::
 
Fen is down with the wild, wild west
When he's in Texas, we go on a quest
Going to trashy bars
And smokin' big cigars
But after several drinks it turned into a big grabfest!

And by grabbing I mean him holding me up in the hallway so I didn't tip over. ::snort::
 
There once was a dude named Farmarito
He loved to eat him some bean burritos
They made his booty
Very tooty
So now he sticks to eating Taquitos
 
There once was a chica named Pop
The movies she liked to go but had to stop
Popcorn she misses so very much
The smell, the taste and such.
So now she must pop a new crop.
 
There once was a lady named Nessie
She wasn't very messy,
She liked the Texas state
Although its not very great
She does like to get quite dressy.
 
There was a guy named Fenway
He liked to go out and play
He now hails from New York
Where you don't eat pizza with a fork
But in sports he does not stray.
 
There was a little lass named Peaches
She sounds like she may like speeches
From the south is where its at for her
Loving the m'am and sir
Sipping margaritas on beaches.
 
Its all up on big Farm
Loving the slow life and doing no harm
Moving on with life
With no strife
Yes he does have the southern charm.
 
I know this cool guy named Mike
Moving away from Washington he did dislike
Some gasey Crohnie friends, he has made
When it comes to limericks, he gets the A+ grade
Now he is feeling well enough to ride a bike
 
Nessa's having trouble getting in gear
2010 so far is a rocky year
Here comes the fatigue
Don't ask me to join a sports league
Crohns is rearing her ugly head or so I fear
 
This thread needs a bump,
It's Wednesday, the day of the hump.
Tomorrow I prep for my scope,
Here's to good news I hope,
Until then I'll be on the toilet taking many a dump.
 
Eat well, my friend, tonight
Friday they go up your poop shoot with a mag-light
50 foot of hose
Till it comes out your nose
Won't that be a sight?
 

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