My Girlfriend has Crohn's and I have a few questions I'd like to ask.

Crohn's Disease Forum

Help Support Crohn's Disease Forum:

Joined
Feb 8, 2013
Messages
2
My girlfriend is the sweetest girl ever. She is so smart and talented and I care about her so much. Tomorrow will mark our two month anniversary. I know she has Crohn's disease because she has mentioned it a few times (only to explain why she can't eat specific things). She has never personally talked to me about it and I have never brought it up, but I think I am going to ask her to talk to me about it tomorrow. If i do, I'm going to tell her that she doesn't need to share anything she doesn't want to, but I'm wondering if this is a good idea, or if I should wait until she brings it up on her own. She is sort of shy and I'm worried that she won't talk to me about it any time soon. I feel that it would be beneficial to the both of us if I understood what she was going through a little more.

What do you all think? And if you believe I should bring it up, what exactly should I ask her? She is a very honest person and I think she will be fine with me asking questions, but I don't want to ask anything too personal.

Thank you all so much. I think I will be using this forum a lot in the future :ysmile:
 
Approach the subject very carefully, as its very personal to some people. I would just say that you know she has it because she hs mentioned it, and when she is ready, you are there to listen. If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask here, someone will now the answer
you are sweet for caring :)
 
Anymore guys like you around for the rest of us? :p
Its hard to tell you what to ask because it depends on the situation. Maybe find out how often she gets unwell, how much time she spends in remission.
At the end of the day, we all just want to get on with our lives as much as possible, and we just want our partners to understand when we cant, without having to feel embarrassed.
 
You're a good man for taking time and putting in the effort to understand what she/we go through.

I don't hide the fact that I have Crohns, it's just that it's hard to explain what it is. I end up just telling people, "it's an inflamation of my intestines", because it's tough to really explain to people what it really is.

Anyway, I think you got great advice from afidz.
 
Are you in Chicago? Because I am single and hope you have some friends available for me! LOL

Seriously, its awesome that you dig her well enough to join this site and get help in talking to her about crohn's.

I agree definitely be gentle about it, don't pressure too much. It is a very sensitive and often times embarrassing topic. It's hard to go about day-to-day activities sometimes and can be even more difficult sometimes to date especially when the dates revolve around meals. I know I tend to put on a straight face in those instances and try to push through my nerves about eating and the potentially painful consequences of it after the date is over (or even during).

I think the most important thing you can do is to let her know that you fully support her and whenever she is comfortable discussing it you will be there to listen.

In the meantime ask us anything you want, we will do our best to help you understand :)

Best of luck!
 
Hi, and welcome to the forum!

I agree with everyone else - find out if she's comfortable talking about it at this point. If not, don't pressure her, just let her know that you're willing to listen whenever she is ready.

If she is open to talking about it at this point, I would ask if she's in remission, if she's taking medication, and how she feels on a day to day basis. Let her know you're willing to help out when she's feeling unwell (tiding up her home, making a grocery store trip for her, etc.), if that's something she would like.

I hope things go well for both of you. :)
 
Why this sounds like the start of a wonderful relationship! You are awesome for joining the forum to support her.
I agree 100% with Sarahbear. Maybe start by saying you've done some research on crohn's to become more knowledgeable and that you would like to let her know you are there for her whenever she needs to talk or needs help. That is how I remember it happening between myself and my boyfriend. Now I don't know what I would do without his support! The fact the you are starting the converstation and opening up first will make her feel more comfortable I would think.
All the best!
 
Wow - good on you for caring enough to seek out advice! I can see this going very well for your relationship in many ways...and poorly in not many. Just have to let her know anything she wants to share or wants to not share is her choice, and it'll be good.

Hmmm...so what happens if this all goes well, in a couple/few years will you need to change your username? :-D
 


Write your reply...
Back
Top