My husband said he cant support me anymore with this disease!

[Mary]

He said he is so sick of hearing about Crohns. I cant figure it out because I know its a burden on my family. I am so upset I really need support and dont know where to turn anymore. Im in pain too and am scared of the future. I love my family so much but this has been so hard on all of us.

 

[BLM]

Mary, refer him to this web site. I know my family has become fed up too...mostly because they too feel alone in this battle. Please remind him that this disease doesnt define who you are....maybe what you can do....but your still the same person he married...for better or worst and sickness and in health. Perhaps him visitin this site, he can get some tips on how to help you with this disease. I too fear one day, my husband will become fed up too. He had to get discharged out of the military because of how sick I ve been and with 2 little children, he cant count on me all the time. I m sorry your going through this. Big hugs to you Mary and well wishes!!

 

[Pirate]

I am truly sorry to hear this. I would be lost without my wife. I like the idea of getting him to get on the forum. Information is the best why to understanding what it is all about.
Good luck and I hope he has a change of heart.

 

[David in Seattle]

He said he is so sick of hearing about Crohns. I cant figure it out because I know its a burden on my family. I am so upset I really need support and dont know where to turn anymore. Im in pain too and am scared of the future. I love my family so much but this has been so hard on all of us.

I can relate to what you're dealing with. As I've written here previously, my own wife left our home and divorced me largely because of my health issues. The feelings of anger, fear and abandonment can be overwhelming. I'm sure your thoughts are dominated by your physical health at the moment, but I would urge you to consider counseling. If, like many Americans, you don't have insurance coverage for such care, there are organizations which provide therapy on an ability to pay basis. One I have had experience with myself is Jewish Family Services. Despite their name, you do not need to be Jewish to access their programs (I am not Jewish, or religious at all, for that matter). There is no religious content at all to their counseling. I found this link to the organization in the Chicago area http://www.jcfs.org/con-main.cfm It sounds as though you could use someone outside the family to talk to, and again, if money is an issue, this may be an avenue for getting you some help.

 

[Shannon]

So sorry to hear this! My boyfriend went through a phase of his own quite like this - he became frustrated that he could 'fix' me. Maybe your husband needs time and more education on this, as others have suggested. You are in my thoughts, sending support your way!

 

[dreamintwilight]

I am so sorry to hear this, Mary.

I am like others in saying that I hope your husband was saying this out of frustration rather than actually meaning it. It's difficult to cope with as it is. I hope he comes to his senses and thinks about that fact that you are JUST as sick of not only talking about it, but LIVING it! But, you don't have the luxury of walking away from it unfortunately.

It always makes me sad to hear about people that lose thieir loved ones because they got tired of dealing with it. That's just selfish and cowardly to me.

Just know that you always have a place here to get unconditional support no matter how many times you've posted!

I wish there was something more I could say or do for you. IF you need to vent, you know where to find me on Facebook!

:::HUGS:::

 

[Guest]

first of all, Mary ((BIG HUGS))

i hope i'm not appearing nosy, but is everything else in your relationship ok? i'm asking, because if there are other problems between you & your husband, not related to your health, then it's a different matter altogether.. and if so, i would definitely advise you take this point in your life to have a long hard look at your marriage and decide if it really is something you want, as opposed to something you feel you need because of your health.

if the health issue truly is the only thing that's creating a problem between you, then i'd agree with the above suggestions of asking your husband to read this forum, he doesn't necessarily have to join... but if he wanted to that would be great, and i would personally be happy to communicate with him via pms if that would help.

i also think the suggestions of counselling are a good idea. like i say, if you two are fine apart from the health issue, and you love each other, then counselling and giving your husband all the information necessary to understand and cope with things, might just be enough to get you both to a level you can cope with, and save your marriage. it might also help you understand how the partner feels, too.

what other support system do you have? do you have siblings/parents/good friends who are around, and who understand?

you always have us.... and you are never alone with all this - somebody is usually online at most hours, and you know you have people here who really understand. x

 

[CrohnsNYC]

I am so very sorry to read this Mary. I think we all know how important support from those we love is to our mental and physical state. I am hoping it was just a random comment out of frustration. You should definitely try and get him involved more. Perhaps you can participate in an event with your local CCFA chapter. Or maybe a much more effective approach would be therapy. Every marriage has ups and downs (and this disease makes it more difficult) and getting an unbiased party to help may be really good for you two. I know there are therapists who specialize in chronic diseases who counsel the individual, but also families. Hang in there and try to stay positive.

Best,
Beth