My Story: Girlfriend to Crohn's

[amssgirl]

Hello everyone,
I am currently a 24 year old residing in British Columbia, Canada. Over four years ago, I met and started dating a guy. Early on in the relationship, he revealed to me that he had Crohn's disease. I had no idea what the disease was (I had never known anyone else with the same diagnosis), but I stayed with this individual who genuinely seemed to be an all around great guy.

Fast forward to the present. We are still together, and I know I lucked out and met a guy that loves me, respects me, and is everything I could dream of in a great guy. But despite all my research into this disease (what foods are good to eat/to avoid, flare-ups and remission, medicines, etc), I still feel like there is a ton of information I have yet to learn, and answers to a ton of questions I still have. A lot of my questions center around what life will be like in the future. For the past few years he has been doing okay, but (if the past few months are any indication), he wont' be in remission much longer. How will Crohn's affect things if we want to start thinking about a life together and considering starting a family? He is generally healthy, but how will that change as we get older and both of us aren't as healthy as we used to be?

So this is why I am here, hopefully to get more first hand information about Crohn's, and hopefully get some support for the journey ahead. I apologize if any of my questions/musings have sounded naive or childish.

Thanks for listening (er, reading? :lol2: )

 

[Astra]

Hiya and welcome

You're a good support system for your boyfriend, not many people have this support. Carry on doing what you're doing but try not to dwell too much on the future.
Of course everyone is different, unique in their symptoms, but take each day as it comes, and cross that bridge etc etc
I'm nearly 48 and I don't believe for one second that I've gotten worse with age, I'm able to manage it a lot better now, that's all.
And as for kids, there's no reason why you both shouldn't have them!
This disease is all about management, keeping stress free, and watching your diet, keeping up with the meds and checking in with gastro on progress. IMO
I understand that it's a daunting prospect but, No more projecting, live life today, worry about the future when it's here.
If it's any consolation, I'm in remission, it's so possible!
Fire away with your questions and in the meantime have a scoot round the sections on here about treatment, diet and fitness.
Wishing you both good luck
Joan xxx

 

[xJillx]

Hi and welcome! As Joan said, your BF is very lucky to have such a supportive partner like you. It is wonderul that you want to learn more about Crohn's, and you have come to the right place.

Similarly to what Joan said, Crohn's is different for everyone. No two cases are alike. So, it is difficult to say what the future will bring. There will be good times and there will be tough times. And all you can do is take care of yourself (eat well, take your meds, de-stress, exercise) the best you can to reduce the chance of tough times. Also, know that Crohn's is becoming more well known and more treatment options are available. I hope we will see some advancements as far as treatment in the near future. Lastly, starting a family with your partner should not be a problem; you will just have to check to see if the medication he is taking is safe to be on when trying.

 

[amssgirl]

Thank so much for your replies, Joan and Jill! It's great to here such supporting and encouraging messages from the members here.

I guess the main feeling I have is the uncertainty of what the future may bring, despite your encouragement of take each day as it comes Recently we found out one of our friend's sister has suffered from Crohn's since her early 20's (I believe she's probably around 50 now). She has had two or three kids and she was so exhausted it was basically her family and relatives that ended up raising the kids for her during the first few years. I have no idea how serious (or not serious) her Crohn's is, but hearing that my parents were even more worried than before. While they think my guy isn't too bad (i.e. he's respective of my parents and I, he doesn't cheat on me, etc), they are worried about the future too.

Most of all, they can't bear to see me worry and fret whenever the disease takes a nastier toll on him...I can tell it breaks their heart whenever they think about that. Some days I just want to find out if its possible to do this...being together and having just a quiet, normal life (most days anyhow) with the house, the dog, the white picket fence and the 2.5 kids.

One day at a time I guess

 

[xJillx]

Having a normal life is most certainly possible. Many of us do. Sure, we have bumps in the road, but who doesn't? So much can happen in life to anyone, even those who are healthy. I think the main question is to ask yourself, do you truly love him? If you honestly do, then his Crohn's shouldn't stop you from wanting to be with him. Is it possible he might not be Mr. Right, which is causing some of your concerns?

 

[Gidget]

Welcome, I am new too. I hope other members are as receptive also. I am actually really happy to have someones signifigant other here. I am newly married (Today is our 3rd Wedding Anniversary!:rosette1: ) We have been together for 8yrs altogether :thumright: But I often wonder what he may be thinking and feeling. I know when I learned that this was my cross to bear, It is also his. I have fears that I am broken, and although were are both in our mid 40's health issues have to be expected, he even has his own. But there are times when; since mine is still not officially diagnosed, I am under the Lets try this medication and it is not effective thus far. It takes me several hours in the morning leading into early afternoon sometimes before I feel 'safe' enough to leave my house. He seems sympathetic, never complains but I can see the exhasparation in his face sometimes. It would be nice to hear the other side. Maybe help us help us help them... Understand and you know be better equipped to move forward. You are really a special person to join this group, and AGAIN a BIG :medal1: For joining!