- Joined
- Jun 14, 2010
- Messages
- 107
Hey,
Thought it was about time I wrote my iccle story. I'm 24 years old and believe it or not I'm a paramedic. There have been many times along my journey I never thought I'd be able to say that and many told me I was kidding myself but I've proved if you put your mind to something you can do it no matter how big or small - don't ever let anyone tell you something isn't possible until you try you just never know. It's not been easy and it still isn't but this is my story.
I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease when I was 12 years old. I believe I had symptoms many years before my diagnosis. I cant remember ever eating anything without at least some discomfort. When I was diagnosed I had been drinking lots of cows milk and I think this was the trigger for my initial flare up.
I was put on prednisolone 40mg Asacol at first and I felt great on the high doses but as soon as I tried to reduce to 30mg I would get really ill again. It was very frustrating as at the time I was told it was very rare for children to have ibd. When I first went on the steroids I didn;t understand that this was a life long condition. The doctor didn't explain and so when I found that I was 16 yrs old and still trying to get off these awful pills I became very depressed and I couldn't see an end to it. By this time the side effects were awful it wasn't so much the moon face but the terrible mood swings I had no control over. Please dont be alarmed if your new to prednisilone everyone is different but I was on them for a very long time. They are not bad in the short term.
By the time I was 17 I was allowed to try the elemental diet I had it through a nasogastric tube which I had learnt to put in and out myself at night time for feeds and could go to college with no one seeing me with a tube. This worked amazingly well and for the first time in years I felt healthier than I had ever before and was able to FINALLY completely stay off the steroids for longer than a month.
At the age of 19 I was admitted in an emergency and told I may have to have a temporary stoma and they would need to cut out the diseased bowel. I was terrified and luckily azathiropene seemed to start doing its magic just in time. I was saved by this and the elemental diet for the next few years and over this time also tried budesonide.
The rebel I was one day I stopped taking my medication (not the steroids) and couldn't be bothered with it anymore I had been so depressed. I managed to make do with the elemental diet. I cant even remember what happened then but I managed to muddle through of course putting up with pain and tiredness but I had got so used to it and was happy without the drugs. I seemed to get by.
At age 20 I was hoping to follow a career in music therapy and was completing my ALevel music when glandular fever struck of course also flaring up the crohns. I was in hospital for 3 weeks and again had to switch onto modulen. This time I managed to drink it rather than have a tube and again I felt much better.
I had missed too much of the ALevel classes to continue and was offered a job on the childrens ward where I was also doing voluntary youth work with the kids using music and drama. I loved my full time job but realised I wanted to be medical rather than holistic and it was here I remembered how much I had often thought of becoming a paramedic but had just completely ruled it out as something I would never be able to do due to always having been in and out of hospital.
I later volunteered working with a local charity within my community where I was first responder trained and responded to selected 999 calls to chest pain or breathing problems and gave first aid before the ambulance could reach the patient. I loved it and I realised I could deal with the things I feared I couldnt like having to do CPR and facing situations I wasn't prepared for. I also realised I was strong enough to deal with the death of patients and know that I had done everything possible. It did upset me and it still does but as long as I have tried my best they stood a better chance.
I knew from this moment this was what I wanted to do and keep the music as a therapy for myself. Of course I then told people my plans and even some of my family said it was a good idea but maybe I just accept I might never be well enough. I knew I had to prove to them I could do it but I was still struggling with the crohns on a daily basis but determined not to let it get in my way. I began taking pentasa to help me along and learned not to be so scared of what I was putting into my body and make the most of each day if the pills got me through.
I began making goals, they started off to be very small goals and when I achieved those I made more futuristic goals.
I joined the gym which I found really did help even more of a physcological way, if I was having a bad day, I still went but i did very little however just being there was an emotional release. I felt healthier.
My biggest achievement was to complete the Duke of Edinburgh's Gold award by climbing MT Kenya.
I set myself this goal because I knew if I could do this I could become a paramedic. I know it sounds crazy but I don't think I even realised just what I was doing until I was at the airport that day. My parents hadn't even accepted it until that day either and I think I put them through more than myself with the worry. I had signed up for a month long trip with complete strangers I had never flown before I had not even been out of the UK. I was 21 years old and when I looked at my parents for the last time that day I had no idea what was ahead of me.
I've always had this thing with not being able to poo in other peoples houses or even in my own house if I think anybody is listening. When I arrived in a very poor area at an orphanage I would be working at for the next 2 weeks I had not comprehended just how much I would have to overcome my fears. There were no toilets but sheds with a hole in the ground and often cockroaches and flies around the hole. Of course the heigine was awful and I wasn't alone I soon became aware that it was not because of the crohns I had a phobia of people hearing me do my business or leaving a smell loads of girls do!! For once I didn't feel different. We all got D and V at some point during the trip. My worst time was the last week I stayed at the long drop all night with the flies, no toilet paper it was disgusting but I got through. I don't think it was the crohn's but more just a bug like everyone else and again although I did probably suffer more I didn't feel different.
I was one of 5 out of 13 people who made it to the top of Mount Kenya..... When I did this I knew ANYTHING was possible.
Unfortunatley the night before I was due to fly home I got...pnumonia but thats another story!!
So....that was 3.5 years ago to cut a long story short I applied about 6 times for my job and the opportunity to do my training and I've done it. I've got my dream job and proved everyone wrong.
I've struggled throughout these last 4 years had good days and bad days but haven't been as sick as I ever used to be. I thought maybe it was the best I could expect. I've battled through and felt like I've had to try to prove to colleagues and the ambulance service that crohns isn't something that needs to stop me or a major deal (although we all know when it hits us it is) and maybe thats why its hit me now, maybe my body has been holding on and holding on and now my job is safe and Im qualified it saying STOP now you gotta sort yourself out? I find it frustrating sometimes that people dont realise I spend a lot of my days off sleeping and resting because Im trying to be well for work because I love my job so much. And it seems unfair that my colleagues go home and stay up for a while whereas I go home straight to bed because Im absolutley shattered. But thats my choice and I know that. It's the sacrifice I have to make. I've especially struggled the last 8 months and I know Im far from fit for work at the moment but I will get back and pick up from where I left off however long it takes.
And if that was it and the crohn's got me, if I lost my job, my house, it would have all been worth it. You have to make the most of every moment. I've learnt that and I am really greatful I seem to have had a few years where I haven't been too bad to still fulfil my dreams.
Please Don't stop believing that your time might come. Nothing is impossible it just hasn't been done yet.
"A stumble may prevent a fall" x
Thought it was about time I wrote my iccle story. I'm 24 years old and believe it or not I'm a paramedic. There have been many times along my journey I never thought I'd be able to say that and many told me I was kidding myself but I've proved if you put your mind to something you can do it no matter how big or small - don't ever let anyone tell you something isn't possible until you try you just never know. It's not been easy and it still isn't but this is my story.
I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease when I was 12 years old. I believe I had symptoms many years before my diagnosis. I cant remember ever eating anything without at least some discomfort. When I was diagnosed I had been drinking lots of cows milk and I think this was the trigger for my initial flare up.
I was put on prednisolone 40mg Asacol at first and I felt great on the high doses but as soon as I tried to reduce to 30mg I would get really ill again. It was very frustrating as at the time I was told it was very rare for children to have ibd. When I first went on the steroids I didn;t understand that this was a life long condition. The doctor didn't explain and so when I found that I was 16 yrs old and still trying to get off these awful pills I became very depressed and I couldn't see an end to it. By this time the side effects were awful it wasn't so much the moon face but the terrible mood swings I had no control over. Please dont be alarmed if your new to prednisilone everyone is different but I was on them for a very long time. They are not bad in the short term.
By the time I was 17 I was allowed to try the elemental diet I had it through a nasogastric tube which I had learnt to put in and out myself at night time for feeds and could go to college with no one seeing me with a tube. This worked amazingly well and for the first time in years I felt healthier than I had ever before and was able to FINALLY completely stay off the steroids for longer than a month.
At the age of 19 I was admitted in an emergency and told I may have to have a temporary stoma and they would need to cut out the diseased bowel. I was terrified and luckily azathiropene seemed to start doing its magic just in time. I was saved by this and the elemental diet for the next few years and over this time also tried budesonide.
The rebel I was one day I stopped taking my medication (not the steroids) and couldn't be bothered with it anymore I had been so depressed. I managed to make do with the elemental diet. I cant even remember what happened then but I managed to muddle through of course putting up with pain and tiredness but I had got so used to it and was happy without the drugs. I seemed to get by.
At age 20 I was hoping to follow a career in music therapy and was completing my ALevel music when glandular fever struck of course also flaring up the crohns. I was in hospital for 3 weeks and again had to switch onto modulen. This time I managed to drink it rather than have a tube and again I felt much better.
I had missed too much of the ALevel classes to continue and was offered a job on the childrens ward where I was also doing voluntary youth work with the kids using music and drama. I loved my full time job but realised I wanted to be medical rather than holistic and it was here I remembered how much I had often thought of becoming a paramedic but had just completely ruled it out as something I would never be able to do due to always having been in and out of hospital.
I later volunteered working with a local charity within my community where I was first responder trained and responded to selected 999 calls to chest pain or breathing problems and gave first aid before the ambulance could reach the patient. I loved it and I realised I could deal with the things I feared I couldnt like having to do CPR and facing situations I wasn't prepared for. I also realised I was strong enough to deal with the death of patients and know that I had done everything possible. It did upset me and it still does but as long as I have tried my best they stood a better chance.
I knew from this moment this was what I wanted to do and keep the music as a therapy for myself. Of course I then told people my plans and even some of my family said it was a good idea but maybe I just accept I might never be well enough. I knew I had to prove to them I could do it but I was still struggling with the crohns on a daily basis but determined not to let it get in my way. I began taking pentasa to help me along and learned not to be so scared of what I was putting into my body and make the most of each day if the pills got me through.
I began making goals, they started off to be very small goals and when I achieved those I made more futuristic goals.
I joined the gym which I found really did help even more of a physcological way, if I was having a bad day, I still went but i did very little however just being there was an emotional release. I felt healthier.
My biggest achievement was to complete the Duke of Edinburgh's Gold award by climbing MT Kenya.
I set myself this goal because I knew if I could do this I could become a paramedic. I know it sounds crazy but I don't think I even realised just what I was doing until I was at the airport that day. My parents hadn't even accepted it until that day either and I think I put them through more than myself with the worry. I had signed up for a month long trip with complete strangers I had never flown before I had not even been out of the UK. I was 21 years old and when I looked at my parents for the last time that day I had no idea what was ahead of me.
I've always had this thing with not being able to poo in other peoples houses or even in my own house if I think anybody is listening. When I arrived in a very poor area at an orphanage I would be working at for the next 2 weeks I had not comprehended just how much I would have to overcome my fears. There were no toilets but sheds with a hole in the ground and often cockroaches and flies around the hole. Of course the heigine was awful and I wasn't alone I soon became aware that it was not because of the crohns I had a phobia of people hearing me do my business or leaving a smell loads of girls do!! For once I didn't feel different. We all got D and V at some point during the trip. My worst time was the last week I stayed at the long drop all night with the flies, no toilet paper it was disgusting but I got through. I don't think it was the crohn's but more just a bug like everyone else and again although I did probably suffer more I didn't feel different.
I was one of 5 out of 13 people who made it to the top of Mount Kenya..... When I did this I knew ANYTHING was possible.
Unfortunatley the night before I was due to fly home I got...pnumonia but thats another story!!
So....that was 3.5 years ago to cut a long story short I applied about 6 times for my job and the opportunity to do my training and I've done it. I've got my dream job and proved everyone wrong.
I've struggled throughout these last 4 years had good days and bad days but haven't been as sick as I ever used to be. I thought maybe it was the best I could expect. I've battled through and felt like I've had to try to prove to colleagues and the ambulance service that crohns isn't something that needs to stop me or a major deal (although we all know when it hits us it is) and maybe thats why its hit me now, maybe my body has been holding on and holding on and now my job is safe and Im qualified it saying STOP now you gotta sort yourself out? I find it frustrating sometimes that people dont realise I spend a lot of my days off sleeping and resting because Im trying to be well for work because I love my job so much. And it seems unfair that my colleagues go home and stay up for a while whereas I go home straight to bed because Im absolutley shattered. But thats my choice and I know that. It's the sacrifice I have to make. I've especially struggled the last 8 months and I know Im far from fit for work at the moment but I will get back and pick up from where I left off however long it takes.
And if that was it and the crohn's got me, if I lost my job, my house, it would have all been worth it. You have to make the most of every moment. I've learnt that and I am really greatful I seem to have had a few years where I haven't been too bad to still fulfil my dreams.
Please Don't stop believing that your time might come. Nothing is impossible it just hasn't been done yet.
"A stumble may prevent a fall" x
