New and need advice

[amandam4300]

Hi,
I am just looking advice - for my husband, or more to the point me as I'm tired listening to him.
I think He suffers from some illness but as He won't go to the doctor he just suffers and it is terrible.
It all started about 4 years - he suffers from a little IBS, due to stress. His is a stressful life - abridged version, his father was murdered in the troubles here in NI, his mother was 7 mths pregnat with him and witnessed it outside the family home, he had an unusual and stressful upbringing as a result, his mum was diagnosed with PTSD and acute IBS in 1997 and he has been a full time carer for her since.
He very rarely has a solid stool - it mostly looks semi-solid - what I can only describe as being like cow pat - it swirls up like a whippy in the bowl!:lol:
He always gets wind after eating.
He gets blood in his stools regularly and has an itchly bum.
now - sorry for tmi - he has a creamy residue on his bum all the time.
Looking some comments advice - do you think its something he should see the doctor about?
Cheers.

 

[soupdragon69]

Hey Amanda,

Yep he should go see a doctor definately. Tell him to "git hisel down there" or he will have another northerner giving him grief!! I can speak the lingo and burn his ears off! ;-) Am originally from Antrim and grew up in the "troubles" but living in England as you can see.

The strain he is under with his mum is immense and you watching him is very understandably extremely difficult to do. He could have a yeast problem too by the sounds of the residue that might simply be addressed by diet or creams or meds. Hard to say unless a doc goes through him with a fine toothed comb.

Even if it turns out to be uncontrolled IBS Amanda he can most certainly have better health and control over it. Probably like me just puts up with it and wont realise the strain he is under til he starts to get some relief.

Get at him and tell him to go to the quack.

Keep us posted honey. Thinking of you both.

 

[amandam4300]

cheers

Thanks for youe opinion.
Thought the white stuff was yeast related as it reminds me of thrush - and it started around the time he had a course of anti-biotics for a severe ear infection.
That would be why he is so irritated and itchy all the time- which only adds to the discomfort of his bowels.
Would it be normal for him to fart and have some follow through with IBS?
I've been at him for ages but he won't go to the GP as he doesn't want to bare his bum at her - plus as far as he's concerned they'll throw a 'general' cream or tablet at him which won't help. i've told him he just has to keep going back and back and back til they do something but there's no telling him - I'm ok! is what I get back. (He said that about his ears a month ago and we ended up in A&E in England cos he wasn't fit to drive any further - turned out he had a really bad infection and his body was going into shock!)
Thanks again.

 

[Guest]

hi amanda glad you decided to get some help & support by joining the forum - sounds like you really need somewhere to turn to right now.

to me, it sounds like he needs to see the gp one more time, simply to request a referral to a gastro consultant. having symptoms like that for four years is not good - it may well be something like IBS (and sounds likely given his stressful life) but whatever the diagnosis is, i am positive the severity of his symptoms can be helped. a lot of bowel conditions are exacerbated by worry and stress too, and even if he's doing the "i'm ok" thing, he knows he isnt, he must know this isnt normal, and that underlying worry will not be good for him either.

i guess he doesnt want to face all the prodding and poking that is inevitable when we first see a gastro consultant.. but the relief that could be waiting for him in the form of meds is an extremely good goal to reach for, to get him through the test period.

re the gas/leakage thing, yes that is normal with a lot of poo-related conditions. particularly as you say his motions arent properly formed.

if you think it might help, get him to take a peek at this thread. every single one of us who posts on this board has at some time been at the very beginning, at that point of taking the first step to getting help. its worrying, facing the unknown, but it really needs to be done, in my opinion, and its far better than continuing to cope with whats going on, not knowing what it is, and with no way of making it better yourself.

 

[Kev]

Hi Amanda, welcome to the forum. first bit of advice I'd offer is that, even if your attempts to get 'hubby' to come here, investigate his health issues further fail, I think you'll find comfort, support, solace, etc., in coping with his illness for yourself

2nd bit.. considering us males are a stubborn, pig headed lot at the best of times, trying to 'force' him to deal with this is sort of like trying to push a length of string. Try as you might, it probably will never amount to much progress. If anything MIGHT work, it is to not 'force' the issue. simply bookmark this site, and tell your hubby it exists.. then to remind him of these simple 'truths' If he has just IBS, then there are ways to alleviate, possibly eliminate his symptoms. Seeing a doctor, or consult, or whatever the UK equivalent terminology for it is, there are ways, methods, medicines to help anyone cope/deal with stresses.

IF it isn't IBS, or just IBS (as IBS AND IBD can exist at the same time in folks) it could mean a substantial improvement in his long term health if he found it out sooner Vs later. Would he welcome the thought of spending his latter years in adult 'nappies' IF he knew that gettting properly diagnosed and treated could prevent or delay that? If it is IBD, failing to come to terms with it won't make it go away. Quite the opposite. It would mean that the proper treatment is just postponed, possibly AFTER long term, accumulated damage to his GI tract was done.

None of us here are doctors... We can only offer 1st hand experience based on our own. For example, the bleeding/itch he suffers could be just hemmerhoids.
On the other hand, it could be ulcerations from some type of IBD (colitis of one kind or other). The white stuff? could be from the anti-biotics, but it could also be a 'classic' forerunner of IBD. We can't say, your hubby won't know until he is properly diagnosed. One doctor DOES not necessarily mean a 'correct' dx. (abreviated form of diagnosis). Think if you were to approach him with these 'facts', then back off... perhaps suggest he pop in here for a 'casual' visit, and read/meet a few of us... he might come around to seeing that there is plenty of things worst than being diagnosed with IBD; one of the key ones being having it AND not being diagnosed properly, of accumulated damages making it worse to deal with in the short/long term. Early AND correct diagnosis is one of the 'key' steps to getting ahead of this disease, and keeping ahead of it longterm.

Hope that works.. hope you continue here whether hubby does or not. truth of it is that despite it being his disease (or not) you have to live with it too (even if just by proxy). And without sites like this, it can be far harder to deal with, OK?

One little anecdotal footnote I'd add is that... if hubby has a good sleep that is interrupted by 'bowel' issues, then the general rule of thumb indicates it is more than IBS... the 'folklore' theory being that a peaceful sleep is devoid of any of the stresses that typically 'trigger' a bowel issue. This alone could be a telltale indicator that there is more to this than just IBS. IBD doesn't sleep.

 

[Colt]

Just to chime in on one thing: Stress does not cause IBD/IBS. Stress can make things worse, but you can not get a bowel disease from stress. It will also not be cured by reducing your stress. Again, it may help, but the cause is physiological and not psychological.

 

[Kev]

Hey Colt... That's great news. I wasn't aware they had found the cause of IBS. Do you have the link to that someplace handy?

 

[AbstractDonut]

IBS I am sure is serious, but people who have it always seem to have control issues to me.

 

[Kittee]

<snip>

IF it isn't IBS, or just IBS (as IBS AND IBD can exist at the same time in folks) it could mean a substantial improvement in his long term health if he found it out sooner Vs later. Would he welcome the thought of spending his latter years in adult 'nappies' IF he knew that gettting properly diagnosed and treated could prevent or delay that? If it is IBD, failing to come to terms with it won't make it go away. Quite the opposite. It would mean that the proper treatment is just postponed, possibly AFTER long term, accumulated damage to his GI tract was done.

I wanted to highlight this part. Drag him to the doctor. Get him checked out.

 

[Kev]

Welll, I have controll issues.... can't control my bowels, or my gas, or my bleeding.......... ;-)

 

[amandam4300]

Thanks

Thanks everyone.
Will be 'forcing' him to go see the GP asap.

 

[soupdragon69]

Hi Amanda,

Hope you can get him to the doc soon and ease his suffering and yours! Let us know how things are and tell him no matter what the problem is he is definately not alone and neither are you.

Thinking of you both still

 

[D Bergy]

Yeah, get it checked out. It could be something easily treated, or any of the other things mentioned already. An accurate diagnosis is the only way to know what to do, snd prevent much worse problems down the road.

If an area is called "The Troubles" I would think that is a good indication that you should move. You Brits crack me up, with your terminology. I love it. I guess the same applies here in the states if you live in "Hell's Kitchen".

Does Canada have foreboding names for areas like this?

Dan

 

[Kev]

Well, if I look out my window, I can see Devil's Island... which is actually 'Devals' Island (named after the original inhabitants) - but since the only thing on the isle is an abandoned house and decommissioned lighthouse, over generations people accidentally re-named it. It is not the island commonly thought to hold the graves of all the folks succumbing to cholera, etc., on the passage cross the Atlantic. If one goes southeast about 70 miles, to Sable Island, one finds the 'Graveyard of the Atlantic', responsible for more wrecks than any other place in the Atlantic, or Pacific, welll not even the Bermuda Triangle comes close... At the northern part of this province, there are names like.. Bay of Ice, or Arm of Gold, or Hand of God (translated from the French).
And, if one heads west, way, way out west, then there is the Great Barrens.
AKA 'The Badlands'... but I think it stretches, broken in places, from Mexico to the USA and up into Canada... one of the most fossil rich places in the world.
And, of course, today... mostly known for the associated Alberta Tar Sands....