No that does not mean I am better!!

[tlc-x]

My friend asked how I was, well.. he was ignoring me after saying hello so I asked myself how I was. I replied with wonderful. That was meant half sarcastically because he couldn't care less any way and half because I am feeling better today. I'll probably have to make up for it tomorrow, but we shall see tomorrow and make the most of today. I helped mum out with a little bit of housework. Bless her, she's been doing it all since this flare up! I do feel bad, so trying to help when I can. She's amazing.

So anyway, my friend then went on about how I must be better now. Yes, because i've felt slightly better today for a few hours, i'm magically better. Ugh! I don't mean to sound bitter or horrible, but healthy people don't understand. They get ill for a day or two, then they're fine to live their perfect lives whilst the rest of us have to suffer! Being better for a few hours is great these days, but if only it meant I was cured for the rest of my life!!! No. I'm still gonna have this rubbish forever. Why can't people see that?! Stop telling me to be happy when I don't want to be. I'm a happy person, let me be sad and cry when I want to. Leave me alone to do my own thing, stop trying to invite yourself round my house just because you miss me. I miss A LOT of things but that's life now isn't it? Gotta get used to it.

I was better for a few hours, now i'm gonna be better for the rest of my life. Never gonna have to worry about spoons, toilet trips or anything else!! UGH I WISH.

For goodness sake Tasha, I need to breath! I don't breath when I verbally rant, but I must remember to breath when I rant in written form. Not good!

For the record - I am a nice person, and I do have patience, but there is only so much a female, teenager with IBD can deal with. Please don't take my rant in the wrong way or anything. Just got a bit angry, and needed to vent away!

 

[Terriernut]

Tasha...you know the spoon theory, give your friend a copy. True friends dont ask, they KNOW.

:rosette2:

 

[tlc-x]

I've told him to read it. Whether he's bothered or not is another story.

 

[Terriernut]

To the curb!!!!!!! One thing this disease teaches you is who your friends are. And another thing it teaches us is that we have ALOT of inner strength, and can depend on ourselves! We at the end of the day, are alone in our sufferering and no one can make it better. We have to have the strength inside ourselves. And YOU have it!!!!

We can have help from loved ones, but we must face it with our inner selves. I know you can. Your inner circle is around you when you need it. Go on girl...you're tough, I know it! This disease teaches us true inner wisdom and strength. And maybe thats not a bad thing.
:hug:

 

[tlc-x]

I guess. That was a pretty inspiration little speech going on there.

My mum almost cried a couple of days ago (days are merging!). It got to me. I asked her why she was about to cry and she replied that it's hard being a mum and watching your child go through something so horrible, and not be able to do much to help.

From that moment, I am determinded to get through this. For my family and for me. I don't really have any true friends, I have one proper, true friend.

And anyone who reads this.. if I can get through this, then you sure can because I moan at everything!!

Woah, you just brought out a little bit of inner strength there!! Haha that was weird!

 

[Terriernut]

Told you...you've got that strength...it comes from way down deep. But we all have it when we need it!

You get tired, fed up, exhausted, in pain...and that strength is still there. And you have to build on it..pull it up from within. You face the monster, and you beat it, time after time. You will have to find the true friends and the true love in your life. Then you have a base to build more strength.

My family is all dead now...and I'm friendless here in the UK...but I've still got my rock within. Kept me alive it did!

 

[tlc-x]

I'm so sorry to hear of your family and friends Thoughts are with you. x

I won't let you down, or myself. Thank you. You've opened up my rock of inner power and strength!x