- Joined
- May 25, 2010
- Messages
- 462
Hey Everybody. I just tried starting a blog, didn't work. I should probably sleep, but slept all day and I am trying to get a grip on what's happening to me, and I'm having a really hard time. I know we've had some newbies lately, and I know some of you are probably getting sick and tired of my whining. I just wrote a full page in word, but nobody can see it. It helped, but I guess what I'm really needing are some shoulders to lean on. So, I'm getting ready to let it all out.
April 7th, admitted to hospital with Crohn's flare. Went from IV fluids to soft diet, given a bunch of Crohn's meds and sent home in 5 day. The very next evening, was taken back to hospital by ambulance for repeat performance. This time when they sent me home, I lasted 2 weeks. When I had my 3rd attack, I could not reach my GI, so went to family Physician, Dr. L, and he admitted me to a different hospital with a new GI doctor. Best move to be made. New GI stated that it was bad enough that surgery should be considered. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks and sent home because the surgeons said it wasn't bad enought for surgery.
Home for 2 months on liquid/soft diet. On July 28th, I got really bad and my husband took me to ER. Listening to my history and noting my condition, the ER dr. admitted me. Here we go again. GI says surgery, surgeon says not bad enough yet. However, they did find I had blood clots so the sent me to OR immediately to put in a blood clot filter. after a couple of weeks, the surgeons finally agreed. It was definitely the best move. They removed my ileum, my appendix, 1.5 foot of colon, surrounding lymph nodes, and a 5 cm tumor. They did further testing which revealed that 21 lymph nodes were cancer positive. So, now my Crohn's is in remission and as soon as the surgery heals, they want to start me with chemotherapy. Before leaving the hospital, they sent me to OR one last time to place a port so it will be ready when the time comes. So, to sum up this paragragh, 37 days in the hospital with 3 trips to the OR. Now, home to rest, recoup, and get better so we can start cancer testing.
This morning, as soon as I wake up, I'm in a lot of pain from my abdomen and my right leg. Similar to the blood clot pain, but different. Also, vomitting. Got my stomach settled, and took all my meds. Thank God they stayed down. Called Dr. L and he got me right in. did blood work and x-ray. They've had me on Coumadin for the clots, but my blood count was high, so no coumadin for a couple of days. Not sure what's causing the leg cramps. I have 2 places in my colon where it is not functioning properly. I was highly medicated and can't remember everything he said, but my husband, Jeff, was there too. Apparently there are a couple of pocket areas topped by air and the colon should be working these areas through, but they are not. Dr. L. said if a person has 3 of these sections they should be admitted to the hospital right away. I only have 2. He is also starting to question about my gallbladder. I go back to him toorrow morning at 10:00, he's going to do some more tests.
So, at 1:00 in the morning, I'm drugged but in a position where I'm currently not in pain anywhere and my brain is going 90 miles an hour. The surgery put my Crohn's into remission, Thank God, but now I'm dealing with blood clots and cancer. I don't even know how severe, what stage, or anything else. I've actually been denying it. My legs hurt so bad earlier I had a hard time getting into bed. That's when I had a good cry. I'm probably going to have another soon because I'm going to have to get up and head to the bathroom. My energy level is so low, I'm so fatigued that just getting to the bathroom and back makes me feel like a ran a 5k marathon.
Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am and I'm doing such a good job dealing with everything. To be honest, I'm cracking. The surgery was suppose to be the beginning of the end. Get the surgery, heal up, and get on with life. Now, I have to deal with colon cancer and whatever is hurting my legs. I'm praying that the cancer hasn't spread and it's just the blood clots or something totally different. I'm very anxious about my dr's appt tomorrow. I really hope he can figure out what's going on and we can start determining when I can start the cancer testing and treatment.
I've been told a heart full of faith has no room for fear. I've always believed in this. But with everything that's happening, I am getting scared. I know God is looking out for me and they say he doesn't give you more than you can handle, but I feel like I'm way past my limits right now. I do count my blessings that I have a wonderful, loving family, but I see my illness starting to take it's toll on them too and it breaks my heart. I find it hard to talk to them sometimes because with everything else going on, it's as if my entire family is going into depression.
Thanks for letting me take up so much space. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. I know it's a lot and I even left out a few things, like the trouble I'm having with my long term disability, my mortgage company, and my 2nd mortgage company. That's whole new issues. Thanks to everyone on the forum and I hope that everyone has had a better day than me. I will let you all know how my dr's appt goes tomorrow.
Until then, :hug: and :kiss: to all and thanks for being here and putting up with me.
April 7th, admitted to hospital with Crohn's flare. Went from IV fluids to soft diet, given a bunch of Crohn's meds and sent home in 5 day. The very next evening, was taken back to hospital by ambulance for repeat performance. This time when they sent me home, I lasted 2 weeks. When I had my 3rd attack, I could not reach my GI, so went to family Physician, Dr. L, and he admitted me to a different hospital with a new GI doctor. Best move to be made. New GI stated that it was bad enough that surgery should be considered. I was in the hospital for 2 weeks and sent home because the surgeons said it wasn't bad enought for surgery.
Home for 2 months on liquid/soft diet. On July 28th, I got really bad and my husband took me to ER. Listening to my history and noting my condition, the ER dr. admitted me. Here we go again. GI says surgery, surgeon says not bad enough yet. However, they did find I had blood clots so the sent me to OR immediately to put in a blood clot filter. after a couple of weeks, the surgeons finally agreed. It was definitely the best move. They removed my ileum, my appendix, 1.5 foot of colon, surrounding lymph nodes, and a 5 cm tumor. They did further testing which revealed that 21 lymph nodes were cancer positive. So, now my Crohn's is in remission and as soon as the surgery heals, they want to start me with chemotherapy. Before leaving the hospital, they sent me to OR one last time to place a port so it will be ready when the time comes. So, to sum up this paragragh, 37 days in the hospital with 3 trips to the OR. Now, home to rest, recoup, and get better so we can start cancer testing.
This morning, as soon as I wake up, I'm in a lot of pain from my abdomen and my right leg. Similar to the blood clot pain, but different. Also, vomitting. Got my stomach settled, and took all my meds. Thank God they stayed down. Called Dr. L and he got me right in. did blood work and x-ray. They've had me on Coumadin for the clots, but my blood count was high, so no coumadin for a couple of days. Not sure what's causing the leg cramps. I have 2 places in my colon where it is not functioning properly. I was highly medicated and can't remember everything he said, but my husband, Jeff, was there too. Apparently there are a couple of pocket areas topped by air and the colon should be working these areas through, but they are not. Dr. L. said if a person has 3 of these sections they should be admitted to the hospital right away. I only have 2. He is also starting to question about my gallbladder. I go back to him toorrow morning at 10:00, he's going to do some more tests.
So, at 1:00 in the morning, I'm drugged but in a position where I'm currently not in pain anywhere and my brain is going 90 miles an hour. The surgery put my Crohn's into remission, Thank God, but now I'm dealing with blood clots and cancer. I don't even know how severe, what stage, or anything else. I've actually been denying it. My legs hurt so bad earlier I had a hard time getting into bed. That's when I had a good cry. I'm probably going to have another soon because I'm going to have to get up and head to the bathroom. My energy level is so low, I'm so fatigued that just getting to the bathroom and back makes me feel like a ran a 5k marathon.
Everyone keeps telling me how strong I am and I'm doing such a good job dealing with everything. To be honest, I'm cracking. The surgery was suppose to be the beginning of the end. Get the surgery, heal up, and get on with life. Now, I have to deal with colon cancer and whatever is hurting my legs. I'm praying that the cancer hasn't spread and it's just the blood clots or something totally different. I'm very anxious about my dr's appt tomorrow. I really hope he can figure out what's going on and we can start determining when I can start the cancer testing and treatment.
I've been told a heart full of faith has no room for fear. I've always believed in this. But with everything that's happening, I am getting scared. I know God is looking out for me and they say he doesn't give you more than you can handle, but I feel like I'm way past my limits right now. I do count my blessings that I have a wonderful, loving family, but I see my illness starting to take it's toll on them too and it breaks my heart. I find it hard to talk to them sometimes because with everything else going on, it's as if my entire family is going into depression.
Thanks for letting me take up so much space. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this. I know it's a lot and I even left out a few things, like the trouble I'm having with my long term disability, my mortgage company, and my 2nd mortgage company. That's whole new issues. Thanks to everyone on the forum and I hope that everyone has had a better day than me. I will let you all know how my dr's appt goes tomorrow.
Until then, :hug: and :kiss: to all and thanks for being here and putting up with me.
Sometimes it's just good to know there are people out there praying for you when you don't feel like you have the strength to yourself. Could provide some comfort and peace that may help you deal with the day to day struggles you're going through right now. Your family could probably use the outside support system as well! 
