On The Way Back Up (thread name changed)

Crohn's Disease Forum

Help Support Crohn's Disease Forum:

D

Determined

Joined
Jan 8, 2011
Messages
2
Going to be changing the post title and my name if someone can tell me how to do that. Thank you everyone for the support.
 
Last edited:
NONONONONONOONO! There is help. Please don't do such a thing. Each life is so vitally important. Crohn's is not worth dying over. I'm older. I have had many times in my life where it just seemed so overwhelming. I can tell you from experience that THIS TOO WILL PASS. It does, it really really does. Just when you think you can't take it anymore something happens that lifts you up.

Please don't give up. Tell your mom, your doc, go to the hospital. Tell them how you feel. Oh, please don't do such a thing. Please?

Louann
 
1-800-273-TALK (8255) Use it PLEASE. Talk to someone. Your friends, parents, anybody.

It's definitely hard, not gonna lie. Depression seems to be so strong with this disease and can be crushing. But if you can get through JUST tonight, who's knows what tomorrow holds?

Please call the above number or talk to somebody, anybody!
 
Your life is so much more important than you realize right now. I have lost family members to suicide and know first-hand the pain you will cause the ones that love you, who most likely have no idea the pain you are in and would love nothing more than the chance to help you. I urge you from the bottom of my heart to talk to someone, anyone, do not take your life. I know Crohn’s is a terrible disease that can make you feel awful and at times make you a shut-in, but know there will be good days and those good day are soooo worth living for. You have people who love you and want to help you even if you can’t see it right now. Please I beg you, go get help right now!
 
Finished - I do not know what types of treatment you have had - but there are SO MANY OTHER OPTIONS out there!....I too have known people who have taken their own life - and the devestation it causes with the rest of the family and their friends is not thought about.....

It would be very very good if you posted some information about yourself - let us know what you have been delaing with - with the large wealth of knowledge just here on the Board maybe there is something that you or your doctors haven't thought of or tried.....

A fulfilling life CAN be accomplished - I myself have been dealing wtih crohns', multiple hospitalizations, different medications/treatments - for over 30 years!...I have a home, husband, daughter and fulfilling life.....others here do to!

You really need to give that number Nytefire posted - all you have to do is TALK!.....

Posting here is the first step in getting some help - please, even though you don't know us personally, sometimes that is better than talking to someone you do know.....you can PM me if you like to talk about things.....
 
Just wanted to agree with pasobuff
Please,please don't harm yourself - you are NOT Finished.
I suffered for over 20 years - i had 9 operations diff meds/treatments etc but i now lead a terrific life.
Don't give up mate.Please don't give up!

e13 boy Serovera AMP Loperamide(due to short bowel)
21 yrs of CD 9 operations
Failed meds Steroids,Aza,6mp,Pentasa
 
My heart goes out to you. Is there a counsellor or someone at college you could talk to at the college? Please spend some time here. You will find lots of support and sympathy.
 
PLEASE PLEASE LISTEN TO ALL THAT HAVE POSTED HERE! It is very difficult to live with a chronic disease, but many on this site have done it for years and have found a way to deal. It must be very hard but ending your YOUNG life is not the answer.
PLEASE THINK OF THE PEOPLE YOU WILL LEAVE BEHIND, please think of how they may feel responsible for not helping you through this, please think of how sad they will be without you, how much they will miss you no matter if you can do Tawe Kwan Doe or not. You still have plenty of time to enter in to the medical field. Think of how many people you will be able to help with a medical career of any kind. Your empathy will help you to be a great caregiver to your patients. You have so much to offer the world, do not cheat others of that! Be strong, one day at a time. Concentrate on only this one moment and then the next. Imagine a better healthier life and you can begin to achieve one. I am typing this from my hospital room and I wonder if my pain will ever go away but I know I can not give up and NEITHER CAN YOU! Please call the hotline mentioned above and speak with anyone! We can not loose one more person to this disease!
 
i'm not going to call you 'Finished' because you're not... so hi buddy, and welcome to the forum, and to maybe the most important family you'll ever join...

i doubt if there's anyone on here, who hasn't touched on the feelings you're drowning in right now, at some point in their lives, to some extent or other.... but the important thing to remember is, no matter how horrid this disease is, how painful, debilitating, annoying - it can and does get better.

can i tell you that in 1986 i was dying in intensive care, my family had been warned to expect the worst.. my body was unable to cope with all the infection and the effects of 3 major operations in 4 days....but i pulled through.

it took a long time, but i got back on my wobbly feet... and since then i have enjoyed my life - including bringing children up, for the most part as a single mum, i've worked full & part time, i've had holidays, i've enjoyed activities such as aerobics, swimming - i hope you're getting what i'm trying to prove to you..

what happened to me back in 1986 is precisely the reason why i then went on to counsel people who were undergoing similar surgery, and why i'm here on this forum - i've never stopped being grateful for my second chance at life, and i want to give something back.

what you need, in my opinion, is to get your fighting head back on... fistulas can be dealt with - and it sounds like this is the main reason you're so down right now. if your surgeon can't deal with it, get another opinion, or enlist the help of someone to assist you to get the right help. tell your gp how you're feeling, the thoughts you're having, or your practice nurse - just don't let more precious days get wasted, or let yourself think about ending your life any more.... it can get better, and with the right help, it will get better.
 
Hi (I wish you posted your name),
We're all in this Crohn's battle together. 5 fistula surgeries is terrible. I have had 3 surgeries and my last one removed my anus completely. But, Crohn's is not gonna beat me, and PLEASE don't let it beat you. Things can get better.

Like I said, we're all in this boat together, keep talking to us. Not all of us have it as bad as you, but we understand.
 
It is only over if you end it.

At twenty, you have not yet begun to fight. At forty five, I had not yet begun to fight.

There is about a hundred or so thing you have not tried to control your Crohn's. Get to work and find out what they are so you can get on with your life.

Good Luck, although you really do not need luck, you just have to decide you are smarter than this disease.

Dan
 
I was diagnosed at 18 in my first year of college. I saw all the people having "fun" and being healthy too. But that just fueled my fire to get better grades, work a part time job and get more done than they did. They wasted nights at the bars and I kicked ass and graduated and made myself a starting foundation for life.

I'm 22 now. Its a hell of a fight, but you gotta do it. I'm not saying I didn't have my rough times, there were days I barely made it to class and days I slept through the classes to make it to work. But I've proven myself to myself. I've shown myself how strong I can be, and that helps with the entire process.

Like D_Bergy says... there are always options. If you aren't seeing them with your docs, get new ones.

You can't let Crohn's take your dreams away. While they may be a little harder to get, you can still live a normal life and you can still attain goals. You just have to take a few more breaks on the way.
 
please listen to all of us and don't do anything but speak to someone and get help. I was around your age when I was diagnosed and now I am 28. I was in school when it happened and like dingbat I was given really bad news, my mom was told on Mothers day that I only had about 24 hours to live if I didn't make it through surgery...and here I am. If we can do it you can too!! You need support from people who have been through this and that's what we are all here for, to support each other.
 
I'll be praying for you. Your life is still worth so much. There are many people here who love you without knowing you and the support that they give is great..we will all help you through this. There are lots of things that you can try if you take the time to figure out what works for you.
 
I am also in the same position as you. I'm 19 and in college. I also wanted to be a doctor for pediatric oncology but when I found out in june 10 I gave up that dream. Ever since then I am still trying to find the right meds that work. It takes time and a lot of patience. I have had several heart to hearts with my doc explaining that I just can't go on without something changing. I have lost "friends" I got fired after telling my boss about my crohns I can't work a normal job I can't sleep I have horrible stomach pains and I have several nights I cry myself to sleep. No one wants this disease. But we are a family and stay strong together. There are so many helpful people on here. Please take a minute to relax. I am here if you need someone to talk to!
 
Never Give UP!!

Domsmom said:
I'll be praying for you. Your life is still worth so much. There are many people here who love you without knowing you and the support that they give is great..we will all help you through this. There are lots of things that you can try if you take the time to figure out what works for you.
Click to expand...

PM one of us...You are not alone...I am praying for you...Sue
 
don't give up

Don't give up! Life has ups and downs. Crohn's sure causes a lot of downs for all of us. But it doesn't have to rule your life. Call a suicide hotline. Talk to a counselor at your school.

Of course I don't know your entire situation, but you can still be a doctor. Take an extra year in college to get all your pre-med classes done. Maybe you'll be really compassionate GI doc.

Or maybe you won't become a doctor. A lot of people start out college thinking they will study one thing and then go study something else. That's ok.

Don't give up!
 
Hey heyy!!! NEVER EVER GIVE UP HOPE!!! I can understand where you are coming from! I have had this disease since i was 7 years old!! SEVEN! I have had this disease for 27 years and I have had many ups and downs!! After 2 surgeries and many many different meds, I do feel at my best right now! I have had fitsulas as well and you know what helped them soo much....Remicade!!! Perhaps you should go and get a second or third opinion if you have to! Remicade helped me more than you can imagine! I was in University at the time and I pulled through and was at my healthiest because of this med! THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY! ALWAYS!!!

You just need to take a deep breath and take it one step at a time! ONE step at a time and keep your chin up and your head above it all!

REMEMBER--there is NOTHING you cannot handle! The clouds WILL pass and the sun will shine on you before you know it!!!

Talk to someone! There are many support groups you can contact! That always helped me! I have lived through this for 27 years and counting and I am so proud of myself for sticking through!!! YOU CAN DO IT! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!

HANG IN THERE AND TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!!!! :)
 
It's very difficult...It's a disease you get used to and in a way never but with a good specialist and touching base with others who suffer from Crohn's, Know you aren't the only one. Many here are in the same boat. Chin up:)
 
Hey, don't give up and listen to everyone here. I have just joined this forum myself and they have been great to talk to! You can't give up! Live is worth living and yes we all may have some ups and downs, but your only 20!!! You have plenty of time to figure out what affects your body and then when you do, continue to pursue your dreams, like everyone has said,..it may take just a little longer..I totally understand about the school and social aspects being affected and it sucks, but you can make it through!!! Find someone to talk to and help you through the dark times, it will get better!!! Hang in there and never give up!!!
 
I was diagnosed with MS when I was 19 and I couldn't walk, talk, move my arms. It meant that some dreams went by the wayside. I no longer could play tennis for the university team, go hiking, I had to rethink the stressors of law school and dropped out although it had been my dream to be a lawyer, I lost my fiancee, almost all my friends, and countless other everyday things. Importantly, I thought I'd lost my vitality, spirit, and strength. It had all seemed so hopeless and the physical and emotional recovery was gruelling. But in all of the hopelessness and despair, I knew that I had an unfinished life.

All I can say to you is I hope you find a place of tenderness and compassion for yourself. That your own sense of care, kindness, and belief in yourself wins out.

Be gentle with yourself and take good care of your heart.
 
To the members who are contacting Crohns Forum staff about this, please know that we've taken appropriate action. But by all means, please continue to welcome and share personal experiences with our new friend :)

To Finished,

Know that you are loved and supported here. Much more than you may realize at this point. We're here for you! When you're ready to talk again, know that we're here for you without judgment because we totally understand, we feel you.
 
Finished,

How are you doing today? Hopefully, things are looking a little better than yesterday! Anyway, drop us a line to let us know how you are...
 
Hey finished. You should really read my stem cell blog. If you quit now, you'll be quitting at a pivotal point for all us crohnnies. I like you was also athletic, into sports, and have also watched my body deteriorate from crohn's. I was a bodybuilder. I have also lived through everything you have said. I am 25. I would be in your shoes right now, but decided to take a chance. The new stem cell therapy. Because of it, I am now getting back into krav maga, and brazilian jiu jitsu. I also wanted to learn Tae Kwon Do just like you. I bet you know that awesome spinning back kick they use often? Anyways, please read my blog. You will understand that taking your life is the last thing you want to do right now. Getting a "normal life back" is finally possible, and I believe the cure is in donor transplants. By the way I don't have crohn's anymore thanks to the transplant. I could always set you up with the right people if you have questions about the process. I just found out the first person to have this done is still crohns free. That is now 10 years of having a normal life for him. Don't give up! Hopefully this is not too late...

Blog - http://www.crohnsforum.com/showthread.php?t=10838
 
Last edited:
Please let us know you are still here!

I have been checking in to this post every hour. I'd like to know you haven't done anything crazy, please just put up one word so we know you are here!

Kim
 
Its me Finished, I am going to be changing that name though. I want to thank the webmaster and everyone else who responded, My school got me some help, but I talked to my parents after writing the OP. I would'nt have gone through with it, I love life. I love my family and friends. Still, I want to thank everyone for helping me with this, I have never thought this way before with my disease, and I wont again after this, This forum seems like a great resource to talk with other people with crohn's about dealing with the disease. Thank you all again. :)
 
Yeah!!! You scared me...We've all been there, but remember you are not alone! This disease is just awful. But, we get some breaks....Live those breaks to the fullest! HUGS!!! Sue
 
So glad you thought things through. And yes it is a great place to get advice, new news on treatments and best of all support. We need young people like you to help lead the way into our future. If you want to be a Dr do it. Even if it takes longer than others, keep heading for your dream. You never know, you could be the person that we have been waiting for to bring a cure to all of us.
I hope you remember that your parents will be there for you and we will be here when you think you can tell them everything.
Thanks for coming back and letting us know how your doing.
 
Well done mate - i was so pleased to see your post.
Many people on here will understand your feelings and they will be as pleased as i am to read you post.
During some of my darkest days battling CD i was at breaking point.
I thank god everyday that i moved on from those dark days.
Keep your chin up.

e13 boy Serovera AMP Loperamide(due to short bowel)
21 yrs of CD 9 ops
Failed meds Steroids,Aza,6mp,Pentasa
 
Glad to hear your changing your mind and your name!! Anytime you need to vent or chat, there are tonnes of people here in exactly the same boat as you! Keep your head up and you'll get through it!! Take care and keep in touch with everyone!!:)
 
I am glad that you did not make any irrational decisions. There are some rough moments that we all go through. Life itself can be an emotional struggle at times from the surrounding that impact our lives. When you also have to deal with a chronic illness it just makes things more complicated. At times many of us have thought when going through dark times, that there would be no end to the misery and pain. Talking it out with people, venting, and finding ways to cope with difficult times are a necessary thing to do to emotionally be able to cope with it all.

I myself have had many rough moments. My life is definitely not perfect, not that anyones is! I had many dreams also like yourself. I loved science and graduated and worked in a lab. I wanted to continue within the medical field but was not able to. I made a decision that it was too many hours on my body to be in that field and it took a lot of time to decide on a career change that would still make me happy. I am still not able to go back into the workforce yet, as I am on disability because I am still not well.

I was not able to get my undergrad degree untill I was 28. When I was your age I was told nothing was wrong with me except for anxiety when they did some tests but none to search for any IBD conditions. I was suffering. I ignored it till I was not able to anymore and became extremely ill when I was 25 1/2. at 26 I was dx with crohns and my terminal ileum was narrowed to the point of no help. All these years in between had to take time off school a lot. Now was the big gap in my goal for completing school. Surgeries, many hospital stays, so many complications (abcess, blockage, flare ups). At 28 when I sat there with my class at graduation tears came to my eyes from happiness of all what I overcame. The week of finals right before I graduated I wound up in the hospital. I cried and cried because it was also my birthday that I spent in there. ( I was more upset about graduating) I told the nurses that if I was still in there for graduation that I would leave if I had to and drag myself to my seat for graduation. My professors worked with me and I took most of the finals the day after I got out of the hospital. It was hard but I did it!!! It felt so good I cannot even explain to be able to sit there at graduation and think that I was there after all I overcame.
Some advisors told me to take easier classes and to possibly change my major from Biology and psychology to something simpler and related. I said no but altered it a bit to still get into the field I wanted. I got the major in Psychology and almost Biology but did not have the organic chem. Sickness made me drop it too many times. I got the minor instead in Biology but had all what I needed to get my research and lab experience! No big deal for me now that I think about it. lol

There was a point where I once also after a second surgery had thoughts like you. I am glad I did not do anything. I am 30, but when I was your age I pictured my life to be so different. I would have my career, married, own a house by now, have the car that I want (an audi!) maybe be working on a PhD and many more things.

I do not have any of those things lol. I live in an apartment by myself (well at least I have my little guy! An 11 year old chihuahua!) I am on disability, I drive a corolla that I wish a big rock would fall on so I do not have payments anymore lol. And I am not there yet for a Phd. I almost have my masters degree. And I will also smile proud when I get that from all the hurdles that are thrown in front of me. I am sick still and even this thanksgiving was ruined because I spent a week in the hospital. Its my favorite holiday and my family has a tradition of all getting together in the city at a great restaurant (carmines). I changed that this year, no one got together because of me! My father visited in the morning and I told him to go before my mother and brother got there. They hate him! Fun for me because thats a whole other frustration. My mother and brother stayed with me the whole day after and we joked and lol even though I was really sick. I looked at them after my mother almost threw me out of the bed from playing with the buttons bec I said I couldnt get comfortable and smiled and lol. Sick, pain and all we all could not stop lol that day. Even though I felt bad they ate a horrible looking turkey sandwich from the hospital cafateria we all know how important we are to each other and I am greatful to have my mother and brother.
Its frustrating because I also miss being as active as I once was. I used to be very active. Riding 7 seater bikes in New York City, working full time, going to school when I was able to, spinning classes, swimming laps at the gym, going out with friends and more when I was well. I see some friends and people I know with many things that I would like. It is frustrating at times when I think of how nice it would be, but I could not be more happy for them if they are happy themselves.

I look at the bright side of things when I can. Recently I just had a huge heartbreak that I feel set myself up for. I just started dating someone a three weeks ago and he makes me smile. I do have hope for this one! lol after the couple of strange dates I had right before him. But I can lol about them. Friday night I went to a friends wedding with my new guy! My best friend brought her date also, and we had a blast! Just sitting there watching the bride and groom sooo happy together brought a smile to my face. I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge (both of these do not come easy with a disability salary :p), and my few good friends, and some family that I know I can count on when I need them.

My brother and I have many conversations about this. He helps me just think of a lot of things and laugh even over some things even when the world seems like its collapsing around me. I have my moments where I cry here by myself when I think of things, but my hope that things will change helps me get by along with family and friends (and you guys!!) trying to keep me strong.
 
Finished said:
Its me Finished, I am going to be changing that name though. I want to thank the webmaster and everyone else who responded, My school got me some help, but I talked to my parents after writing the OP. I would'nt have gone through with it, I love life. I love my family and friends. Still, I want to thank everyone for helping me with this, I have never thought this way before with my disease, and I wont again after this, This forum seems like a great resource to talk with other people with crohn's about dealing with the disease. Thank you all again. :)
Click to expand...


i am so relieved to read this post! :)

i'm delighted you're now getting help & support, and that you told your parents how you're feeling.

we are all here for you, don't be a stranger - all of us here know just how down Crohn's can bring us, and the determination & courage it takes to keep on fighting.

i can change your name and this thread title for you - just send me a private message when you're ready. good luck with everything :)
 
I am so happy that you got help that you needed. You should really stick around here, this place is amazing for support and if you need to vent, you can vent, there's great advice out here and always just great encouraging people are around.

I really hope to keep seeing you around here.
 
:):):) Formerly known as Finished, wanted to say so happy you're back and sounding more positive. You'll have guessed by now we were all really worried and hurting for you.
I think this can be a bad time of year for a lot of people - the festive season, when you cant really join in the festivities like you used to or like other people can, and cold dark winter doesn't help either. It can be hard sometimes to tell other people about problems, but also a massive relief when you do. Well done and keep in touch.
 
Glad to hear! We all need to beat this disease and not let it beat us! I know that there is a way to change your name...maybe in your profille???but I'm not sure.
 
I'm very relieved to see your post. If I didn't check this thread 20 times yesterday to see if you had responded, it was 30. Don't be afraid to lean on the community here. As you can see from your responses, there are lots of folks here who care and want to help.

The more questions I had along the way about the symptoms, diets, treatments, etc, the more I found myself here checking things out because it was from other patients, not necessarily just my doctor's say-so. But it was definitely the people here, and their helping and kind nature, who finally caused me to join up.
 
life is a gift. hang in there. i survived a car fire, plane crash, prostate cancer, divorce, oh, i forgot- house fire 2 years ago and emergency stomach surgury, lost over 200k in investments, saw both my parents die horrible deaths, but you know what, this all made me stronger. adversity builds strenth and character. this disease sucks, no cure, doctors dont know or dont tell, or tell you what you want to hear, look at it as a twisted game. thats how i approach it. good luck and if you feel bad, go to emergency room of the nearest pschiatriyc hospitol. also, when and if you have tie, offer your services at the local hospitol. you voulenter. i do it at a childrens hospitol. puts it in perspective
 
at the member's request, their username has now been changed to Determined :) and this thread title has been changed also.

i just also want to say how proud i am of everyone here who has rushed to the side of Determined, and offered such support, care, and words of wisdom. you are an amazing community. thank you!
 
Dear Determined

I'm sorry I didn't reply at the time, I read it but didn't have the emotional strength at the time, it saddened me too much.
I'm so relieved we have a happy outcome.
I can concur with maxibear, all about life's tragedies, I've had my fair share as many on here know. It's made me stronger and more determined.
Your new name is very apt!
I wish you well on your new journey!
Joan xxx
 

Similar threads

T
Crohns disease and Lactose Intolerance
Replies
8
Views
1K
ronroush7
ronroush7
B
Convinced of Issue that Creates the Crohns/Colits
Replies
9
Views
1K
Michael Harrop
Michael Harrop
valleysangel92
Hello Old Friends
Replies
1
Views
466
my little penguin
my little penguin
Papantoine
Punching Crohn’s in the balls!
Replies
7
Views
668
RickS
R
C
Atypical Crohns
Replies
2
Views
1K
Chrissie47
C

Latest posts

Back
Top