Oye.

[Jessica]

So, as I've vented before... I work directly with my mother.

Today I drank barium and had my test. Well, I forgot how it makes me feel. So, I came back to work. Well 2 hours after being here I had racked up 4 trips to the bathroom.

She keeps telling me to go home. I CAN"T!! I don't have anymore sick days or vacation days left. I am LUCKY that my boss (father) will let me do more of a flextime so that I'm not losing out on any money!

Quit telling me to go home and just help me cope with what I have to do!

OYE!
<3

 

[Cat-a-Tonic]

Oh yeah, I remember the barium poos. About an hour after my CT scan, it all decided to come out very suddenly. Fortunately I had just gotten home and was able to run to the bathroom - if I had been in the car or still at the hospital, I probably would have poo'ed myself.

I don't suppose you are able to work from home? Or maybe work from a laptop and take it to the bathroom with you? Do your sick days start over at the beginning of the new year? I hope you get all that barium out of your system and start feeling better soon and are able to work unimpeded.

 

[Jessica]

Yea, they start over at the beginning of the year. Only 6 per year, but next year I'll have 10 vacations days to work with too. And I could work at home, since we're mostly an internet business. Plus the IT guy is my boyfriend so remote systems are already set up at home. HOWEVER, boss frowns down upon it. If I'm at home and too sick to be at work, I'm too sick to be working. If they only understood the difference lying in bed makes over sitting over a desk.

 

[Cat-a-Tonic]

I wonder if your doctor could write you some sort of a note indicating that it would be in your best interest to work from home a day or a few days per week? Do you think that would sway the boss into letting you do that?

 

[Mountaingem]

Maybe try filling out FMLA forms, or check out the Americans with Disabilities Act. You may not get paid for the time off but it can't count against you as illness or time off. It's good for 90 days (FMLA). ADA educates companies and makes them comply with laws that assist you while you are struggling to cope with chronic illness or disability, which Crohn's qualifies for.

 

[Jessica]

If I need time off, I can take it without any FMLA. I wouldn't get paid just the same. And my boss is my dad. So, all I would need is to talk him into it myself. But I guess a note would help.

It's just when my mother sees me walk around work holding my stomach and yells at me to go home. I just want people to leave me alone and let me work. I might be in pain, but I'll speak up with it's too much. I won't work if I have to take major pain pills. That's just bad business sense. But it's when people tell me to go home instead of letting me decide when I need to leave. It makes for stressful situations and more D.

 

[ameslouise]

Your dad needs to take a course in nepotism!! He's supposed to be giving you all sorts of unfair perks and time off because you are his daughter! Is it a family business or do you all work for someone else?

I agree it's annoying when people try to tell you to go home like you're not capable of making your own decisions...

Hang in there and I hope you start to feel better soon!

- Amy

 

[Nica]

Maybe you should have your dad look at this thread. It seems to me that people don't realize what would really make our lives easier. I know my husband is still getting it. Or, when you are feeling OK have a meeting with your mom and dad about your illness and see if they are willing to work something out that will not stress you out when you need to go home to work on the computer instead of being in the office?

I know when I quit my job, there was an office that actually had a bathroom in it in the building... and it was vacant, I hinted around for about a month about it. They gave it to a new person, and I had to quit with the flare up from hell. I have to wonder if I would have flat out said, listen I am flaring up, this means I NEED a bathroom that is mine and no one can go near, and away from everyone else if I would still be working today. Eh maybe that is just wishful thinking on my part..

 

[Kathryn]

I think you should tell your dad and your mom how you feel about some of the things going on at work and how they treat you. I worked for my parents for about four years after I was first diagnosed. The truth was, the first year or so was pretty rough between trying to get my disease under control and trying to work at the same time. They alternated by telling me take time off (when I didn't need it) to forcing me to work for two days straight after my GI had already told me I needed to be in the hospital and not working or at home.

It took us awhile to make it work, both monetarily and health-wise for me but at the end of the day with some perseverance, some yelling and some compromise it worked well for three and a half more years.

I wish you lots of luck with this, working with the fam can be a pain in the butt but rewarding, too!

-Kathryn

 

[MADiMarc]

Jessica,
Your parents have given you a very strong work ethic. I get from your posts that you are very good at what you do and enjoy it for the most part. Family is hard to deal with at work. Your mom is yelling because she is afraid for you and she is in pain when you are. Sorry hon, that is the makeup of a mom. When you feel better tell her what you said here. Tell her you understand she is afraid for you, that you do appreciate her concern but it only makes the pain worse and harder to deal with when she is yelling too. Tell her that she and your dad have created a hard working daughter and if you refuse to give in to the pain all the time, it really is her fault because that is the way you were raised. To be a hard worker and a non-complainer. Can you tell I have used this before? My older sister & I owned a small business together (she thinks she is my second mother) and it was the same thing with my illness. Our little cottage industry was nothing on the scale of your parents business but like I said, working with family is tough enough without adding a bum belly to the mix.

Good luck and try to keep breathing in a regular pattern!
Michele