Replacing anxieties?

[persephone300]

Does anyone ever think that the surgery may just be a way of replacing anxieties for - always being worried about needing the loo - to - always being worried about springing a leak?

I keep thinking how wonderful it will be to do things and not worry about the loo after my surgery - but then I think - will I always be self-conscious and avoid doing things in case I spring a leak?

 

[2thFairy]

That anxiety is certainly true! However, it does die down fairly quickly as you get more comfortable with the appliance and doing the changes, etc. I used to panic when it was time to do bag changes...full sweats, near tears, the whole bit. I just got done changing mine right before this post like it was no big deal.

 

[robbo87]

I guess it's all about confidence, I'm still at a stage where I worry before doing things incase I can't get to a toilet to empty and stuff. I nearly sold a ticket to a concert last weekend because this was the first gig I've been to in years let alone since my surgery and I was really worried about my stoma getting knocked or my bag bursting or not being able to go to the toilet but I went and didn't let the anxiety stop me, and I was glad.

It's all about confidence, it's been almost a year for me now but I'm getting there and I'm finding myself starting to do more and more things, holidays, trips away etc and the anxiety is getting less and less because i'm confident with my appliance and just make sure I go to the toilet regularly... but hey... even the most healthy of people need to go to the loo for a tinkle!

You are right about the whole replacement thing though. I remember being really worried before going to a festival incase I needed to go to the toilet. Now I've had my surgery and im going to the same festival later this year and I'm worrying a bit about how im going to manage with my bag but deep down I know it will be fine

 

[persephone300]

Thanks, that helps. I've been thinking for a time that it'll all be perfect, no more worries, but then all of a sudden, I thought, I'll just be spending the whole time "checking" and worrying about that instead, and have to take a bag everywhere I go full of supplies - and in the end won't be any better off - but I'm sure you're right - it's just about getting used to it.

 

[Terriernut]

Even with all the issues I've had lately, I am still alot better off than I was before Stan. But I was going to the loo 30+ a day before. But, I am still not confident going into a quiet restaurant. Eating and other people for me dont work. But then again, Stan is by far the worst behaving stoma of anyone I've spoken with in comparison.

Other than restaurants, I can do anything and everything. Except wear a bikini.

 

[DMac]

I think it is perfectly natural to feel anxious about certain situations or circumstances. I have had mine for over ten years and still find myself feeling anxious about using public toilets. I dislike the thought of eating out and then having to find a toilet somewhere. I am going on a cruise around the Med in July and will be visiting a number of different countries and will have to use public toilets in different countries.

To many people, that wouldn't be an issue, but for me it is. It is a part of my holiday that I am kinda dreading. More so because I don't want to be caught short on foreign soil. I don't know, perhaps I am making a mountain out of a molehill, but I can't help the way I feel. We're a resilient bunch, us ostomates and I do think that we can adjust and adapt to most circumstances. Having a leak in public, on a number of occasions, has actually made me a more resilient person, but there are still some very small things that play on my mind.

As with all things, I tend to think that time will make those issues go away.

 

[PsychoJane]

I'll agree about the part of gaining confidence about it. It takes a time of adaptation and confronting the anxieties linked to the bag. I guess that the sooner you face things you are afraid of might be the better (unless you are in a situation where you know you have been dealing with too frequent leaking obviously).

Once you will have gain confidence with your appliance's change and reach the point where your stool has adapt (get firmer cause at the beginning it's liquidish and not behaving and it makes noises for a few weeks/months). Don't wait too long thinking you can't do things because of the bag. Go on a camping trip, go hike, go sail, whatever you wish to do. Worst case scenario you end up digging a hole in the ground to empty your bag. I swear i've had awkward situation (mostly awkward for me and myself), I have to do field trips and what not. So yeah, I've had to empty my bag in pretty curious conditions; the wood, sugar cane fields, beaches and others. You feel bad for 30 seconds but life must go on and if you don't force yourself into these things, you keep being scared of them so my tip is "Just do it".

I think the worst enemy of an ostomate is being sh*t-face/drunk... but even then, I've done great things in my drunkness (let's remember I got it at 14 so I had to live my experiences...) and managed not getting into too much ostomy related problem except once...

That being said... the only thing I am having a bit of issue convincing myself to do is things like climbing and parachute because i'm a bit scared of the harness but I know many have done it. But then again, the reason I don't face that fear is more of a financial reason than ostomy reason.

So yeah, if that surgery brings you into remission, I think you will be looking at the way more positive life than a loads of stoma-related anxieties!

 

[persephone300]

I spose DMac wI never really considered it wouldbe awkward with the bag after with emptying, because so many places have disabled toilets and there wouldn't be that massive rush that there is now for me (at least I hope!?) to go and empty it...

Feeling quite dejected now - just had to rush back from a meal between main and pud cos Diarrhoea struck, and my colon had been behaving the last couple of days so it came from nowhere. Really did want the choc fudge cake too

Going 30+ times a day - I cannot imagine, my worst has probably been 15 and my Gastro says that's severe. I feel quite shamed thinking that I'm planning for this surgery and yet, I don't feel severe enough for it in many ways, when I read everyone's tales about how much agony etc they're in.

 

[robbo87]

Going 30+ times a day - I cannot imagine, my worst has probably been 15 and my Gastro says that's severe. I feel quite shamed thinking that I'm planning for this surgery and yet, I don't feel severe enough for it in many ways, when I read everyone's tales about how much agony etc they're in.

You've absolutely no need to feel shamed. You deserve to have a better life as much as the next person. Of course people end up with a bag having been down very different roads but that doesn't particularly mean anyone is any more deserving of an operation. Of course like others have said, which I forgot to add in my last post, it is perfectly natural to feel anxious about things. But being anxious isn't always a bad thing, it will mean you are well prepared. Just don't let that anxiety stop you from living your life the way you want to. I hope things improve for you soon!