Rough week

[Pirate]

:depressed: I have had a pretty rough week. Worked 10 hours Monday. Went to work Tuesday morning and by 8:00 was headed home after running to the bathroom 4 times in the first hour. D all tuesday. Went to bed Tuesday night and was up about 3 am running for the BR again. Missed work Wednseday. So I lost a total of 19 hrs. Went to work Thursday and felt pretty good. Ate a light supper of a couple of egg sandwiches. Went to bed. Woke up this morning feeling great. Went to work to make up 8 of the hours I had lost. I was at the parking lot waiting for the bus to take me into the plant that I'm working in and it hit me. No bathroom anywhere near. I had to make a mad drive to the gas station about 2 miles away. Needless to say I missed the company bus and if you miss the bus you can't get into the plant to work.

I'm getting pretty depressed lately because of this flare up I've been going through the last couple of months. After going so many years without any major problems I have to learn all over again how to deal with this.
Some times I just want to start yelling at everyone because they don't have to live this way and why should I. Why can't I enjoy life without having to worry about what will happen any minute. WHY! WHY! WHY!

At times I really hate my life and what CD has done to me and how it has effected my family. I have missed out on so much because of it. I missed out on my boys baseball games growing up. I missed so many family get togethers because of it. I always feel that my employers think I'm faking or just doen't want to work. I even feel at times my wife doesn't believe me when I am hurting. And she is the greatest support I have. I know she understands but I get so dpressed and everything in my mind just goes haywire.

I WANT TO BE NORMAL! I WANT TO REALLY LIVE MY LIFE. I WANT TO BE HAPPY AGAIN!

Thanks for listening. Had to vent.

 

[Theresa]

Hi Pirate,

Sorry to hear that you are having a really bad time of it, I really hope this flare up ends soon for you. I find it really difficult to work at times when i am having a flare up! Take Care

 

[bella_sky]

OH pirate that sounds terrible!! Hope you have some relief soon

 

[Jer's Girl]

This is exactly, EXACTLY, how I have been feeling lately Pirate. The work stuff (missing) is always the hardest for me and I have been having a lot of problems with that. I always feel like people are judging me or not understanding how sick I really am.

I know what it is like to feel cheated. We have all missed out on times that we can never get back, or had to give up things that we love because of this disease.

All I can say is that with this disease, I have a lot of bad days, weeks, months, where I feel like I can’t take it anymore and then; sometimes seemingly without reason; I get better for a while and life makes sense again.

It can be a daily battle to keep my spirits up, but knowing that other people on this site and around the world have been through this too has really helped me. Hopefully it will do the same for you.

 

[Pirate]

Just by finding this site and reading what everyone else goes through and knowing that I'm not alone really helps. It gives us a place to vent to someone that understands all the symptoms we go through and all the feelings of loneliness that hit us at any given time.
I still get depressed, but by venting to you guys it helps me focus on dealing with CD.
Thanks for being here.

 

[Guestly]

Feeling your pain Pirate - hope things pick up soon...

Lishyloo

 

[CrohnieCarolyn]

This too sounds like me too Pirate! I was in remission with Remicade for 8 long wonderful months - felt like I had my life back! I was able to go to school and not have to worry about running to the can every 5 mins. Now I am right back to being sick and depressed and feeling shitty and useless...So, you are not alone! SUCKS having this disease and the WHY! WHY! WHY! I can so relate to - not fair and all that jazz....today my regular doc wants to send me to an eye doctor to see if I have Uveitis of the eye...from the crohns - some days I think it might be easier to jump off a bridge but there must be a reason why I haven't so far???!!! Keep on keeping on dude and vent anytime ...we understand it all!