i've just stopped smoking, on my 10th day cig-free now.... i've smoked all my adult life, so this is the first time while an adult that i haven't geared every day around smoking.
it is weird. it is really hard. my feelings and emotions swing from pride and elation to desperation and grief. one minute i feel so pleased i've got the demon out of my life, and the next i'm close to tears, missing it like a lost friend...
it never bothered me if people lectured me on how stupid i was to smoke, particularly with Crohn's, my dice with death all those years ago during surgery, the fact that i have kids i need to be around for etc etc... it didn't bother me because i knew how stupid smoking was. i didn't need to be told the risks, that i'd be so much better off healthwise and financially if i stopped..... smokers know all this. what a lot of them (us) don't know is how the heck to get off the addiction roundabout, make it stop, get through the first day without cigarettes, let alone the rest of our lives.
i watched my best friend breaking her heart earlier this year, when her father died of lung cancer, due to smoking. that was the final push i needed. that's when i made my plans to stop.... it's taken me all these months to put my plan into action, but i'm more than halfway there now, and i'm not looking back. hour by hour, day by day, week by week - i may always be a smoker in my head, but one who isn't smoking any more....