Stressing about stress... vicious circle!

[Claire617]

I thought about venting on here for a while now, but don't want to bore you guys with my problems when we all have our own host of problems and most are lot worse!

I kinda just need to take a breath even if no ones replies it feels good to write it out, I need to know if I'm being the unreasonable person in this and having a 3rd parties non biased perspective is always a great thing to have.

Basically health wise I'm doing quite nicely, however since I've gotten better it's like RIGHT lets walk all over her now :ymad:

The last few months have been stressful, I live with my 2 sisters, one older one younger and my mum.

To start things off, basically I was seeing this guy who wanted a lot more commitment than I was willing to give just after my surgery, so I cooled things off only to find out a couple of days later that him and my younger sister had been talking behind my back that they wanted to be with each other etc. I hit the roof but later forgave her because we all slip up sometimes and she had a boyfriend at the time.

Only to find out about a week ago that they had been talking like this again, now I don't want to be with this guy at all, but I just felt so betrayed by my younger sister. Isn't there some kind of unwritten rule against this??

I felt more betrayed because not to big myself up too much but I'm an awesome sister to her, I help her with clothes, hair, boy advice, I drive her to her friends, I'm always there for her and it just feels like I'm having it all thrown back in my face. Am I being unreasonable to still be angry??

Now about a month ago my OLDER sister got a boyfriend who was nice enough, he was relentless with banter but I can take as good as I get. However he was always at our house eating all our food, using the water for showers and baths using the electricity leaving the place in a mess with beer bottles everywhere and he would bring bags of his clothes round to be washed and with my own bathroom habits I wanted a lot more space from him.

The costs all build up and my mum being a single parent and just having me getting back on my feet, she couldn't afford to have another adult basically living here. However my mum hates confrontation and won't stand up for herself and my sister's temper can flip so she just wanted to keep the peace.

After I heard him bitching about me with my YOUNGER sister telling me to get over what she'd done, I flipped at him about being so two faced and stormed out, it was none of his business.

I just want to get out of here because my father and nan say I shouldn't make myself sick over the situation because I'm so unhappy living here. Problem is... I can't, mum relies on my rent money to pay for the house and if I go she's well and truly stuck. I hate being around my younger sister as she hasn't even apologized and my older sister plans to move out with her guy, so mums losing her rent soon.

I am not exaggerating my two sisters treat the home like a dumping ground, they steal money from my mum, they don't help with any kind of housework and expect their clothes to be cleaned etc
My mum says she's happy enough to do it... I'm not though... My mum relies on me for everything, anything to do with finances, the home, the car and she will be stranded if I go.

I love my mum she's the kindest person there is, works her ass off, will do anything for anyone with a smile and I don't want to leave her in the lurch but I simply am not happy living with my sisters and I think the distance will make our relationships better.

From my hospital stays me and my nan are extremely close and she has a big home to herself and offered me to live with her... I just can't do it to my mum and just don't know what to do and am very worried about what kind of effect this stress might be having on my crohns :/

My mum cries if I mention leaving saying she doesn't want me to go and my nan and dad say to leave if things aren't changing at home... But for me It's just not a black and white, stay or go situation...

I'm sorry to clog the zone with my ranting but arrrrggghhh!

:yfrown:

 

[EthanPSU]

I needed to reply because I was in kindof the same situation with someone close to you taking the person you like. I had just broke up with my girlfriend this past year and not even a week later one of my best friends I found out was talking to her and hanging out with her. They never got further then that but I was pissed at the moment. She messed with my friend tho that he got pissed with her also. So that is how me and him mended it...by both being pissed at this girl. We are now living in the same apartment next week so it should have interesting disscussions.

For the part with your older sister boyfriend using your house for his uses. Maybe you could get your mom on your side and have her tell him that he is not allowed using your house. Im not sure about that one.

I think that your sisters just sound like they have never had anything bad happen to them, unlike you. Maybe when they get there heart broken or have anything tragic to them they will relize how to treat people properly and live better. You seem like to most mature and I think that is because of the Crohns, It makes you have to deal with alot of responsibility by yourself.

You should however talk with your mom about everything. Like how it is hard for you to keep living there. Maybe when she hears that she will start taking more responsibility and make living there better.

Just my opinions though

 

[Claire617]

Thanks Ethan, it's just good to vent on here, what my younger sister did bothered me the most but the older sisters boyfriend was just on top of it all. I'm not exaggerating when I say I've tried to talk to my mum and all she has ever given as a reply is 'I don't really know Em'

Yeah I definitely think they're how they are because everything has always been given on a plate to them, but I plan on sitting down with my mum tonight so hopefully something will come of it!
I'd never wish crohns on anyone, but I've come very close with them lol